


Vanilla

by shes_cured



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Rilaya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-11-02 11:56:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 59,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10943991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shes_cured/pseuds/shes_cured
Summary: Maya is back to face the past. To face high school. To face the girl that broke her heart and praying that hope isn't for suckers. She wants to feel whole again and maybe the secret cure is still Riley. Maybe it always had been.started as a one shot, now it's a story!





	1. pt. 1

She heard someone sit beside her, but she didn’t turn to see who it was. She didn’t have to. She smelled the vanilla lotion. It wasn’t overwhelming, but the slight scent of vanilla was there, so she knew it was Riley – it had to be. She wondered if she’d ever be able to smell vanilla without thinking of her.

Maya kept her feet in the cold water, hanging off the dock. She’d been there for hours, just staring. She had her phone, a soft hum of music playing from it. She hadn’t been replying to texts, she’d just been thinking. She had a lot to think about lately. She knew Riley had asked her to meet her there at three, but she figured she’d have lunch on the dock and just let herself think. For too long she had kept herself constantly busy to avoid thinking about vanilla.

Four years ago, if she smelled vanilla her heart would swell with love and admiration. Riley was her everything with her mind full of rainbows and sunshine. Now, there was a sense of dread and Maya hated that. She fucking hated that Riley Matthews no longer was her safe haven.

“Hi, Peaches,” the girl beside her murmured after sitting in minutes of silence.

Maya just smiled a little, bringing the cigarette up to her lips and taking a drag. She could sense Riley’s discomfort without even looking at her. Before, she would stop everything if Riley was uncomfortable. Then again, before, if her and Riley were still like _before_ , she wouldn’t have began smoking in the first place. She hated admitting it, but Riley tamed her. While she wasn't off the rails without her, Riley made her a better person. There was no denying it.

“Hey, Riles,” she finally found the ability to speak after an awkward pause.

Riley Matthews was sitting beside her. In close proximity and she was acknowledging Maya's presence. She should have been happy - she used to pine for this moment - but she wasn't. She was just uncomfortable now. She had stopped wishing for Riley at every 11:11 years ago. She had given up.

There was another four minutes of silence. Maya sat with her feet in the water and Riley sat with her legs crossed on the dock. Maya looked at the body of water. Riley looked at Maya.

“My parents miss you,” she told her softly.

Maya bit her lip. Riley probably thought it was because she was nervous or something cute like that, but really it was so that she wouldn’t scream. Hearing that made her mad. The Matthews, whether she liked it or not, were the first family she ever had. Yeah, now her mom and Shawn were there, but before that, it was always the Matthews. And because she lost Riley, she lost that. She lost her first family.

As if she could read Maya’s mind, Riley quickly corrected herself. “And me. Well, mostly me. I miss you too.”

“Yeah,” Maya sighed, ignoring everything that drove her crazy. Because in the end, it didn’t really matter. “I miss you too.”

“I see your art on Facebook,” she attempted to begin a conversation again. “Well, the pictures of it, at least. My dad says Shawn says they’re amazing.”

“They’re okay,” Maya laughed a little. “I wouldn’t go as far as using the word amazing, though.”

“I bet they are,” Riley argued.

After sitting there a little while longer, Riley gave in, taking off her flip flops and putting her feet in the water. It was still chilly considering it was May and Maya fought not to laugh as she saw Riley’s shock at the frigid temperature of the water. She quickly pulled her feet out again.

“It’s freezing! Your feet are going to get frostbite.”

Maya just smirked a little, shaking her head. “I don’t think that’s possible in May. You might want to look that up before you begin warning people about side effects of their actions.”

“Well, well, look who’s an expert all of the sudden,” Riley mused. She shifted positions, moving her body so it completely faced towards Maya. “Do you remember seventh grade?”

The shorter girl didn’t know if the memory should make her laugh or cry. On one hand, middle school provided the best years of her life. She met her best friends. Her and Riley were inseparable. Things were good - they were really, _really_ good. On the other hand, she didn’t have that anymore. Sometimes she wondered if it’d have been easier to have never met Riley, to have never have had a close group of best friends, because the pain of losing all of that… it was four years later and it was still unbearable some days.

She wasn’t sure she would like where this conversation was going, but she didn’t have the heart to stop Riley from going down whatever path she felt the need to revisit. “Of course I do.”

“It was different then, huh?”

It was so painfully different.

“Yeah.”

“You were a terrible influence.”

Maya snorted a little, a smile spreading across her face. She stared ahead still, amazed at how it looked like the water never ended from that little dock. “I really was. I’m shocked your parents let you hang out with me.”

It was silent. Maya had a feeling she knew what was coming next. She could almost hear the gears turning in Riley’s head, so she sat there and hoped she wouldn’t say it. They hadn’t spoken of what happened. It happened and they went their separate ways. It had been four years now. Maya didn’t need an explanation or excuses now, but if Riley called this little meeting after four years of silence she sensed that she would try to apologize. That's just Riley.

“I’m sorry, you know?” she asked on cue. “I don’t know if I ever said that-“ she didn’t “-but I really am. I should’ve handled things better.”

“It’s fine,” Maya shrugged it off. She was so used to people leaving, but Riley’s absence hit her hard. She refused to let Riley know that, though. She was determined to keep her neutral expression. “Besides, I dropped a bombshell without even warning you. I don’t know what I was expecting.”

“I know, but-“

“You were a kid, Riley,” she assured her, but her voice had an edge in it now.

They were kids, but Riley was horrible. Maya still couldn't talk about that. If she talked about it she would cry and she didn’t want to cry. She almost never cried. She hadn’t noticed how deeply Riley had weaved herself into her life until she left and the pieces of her that Riley sewed together fell apart at the seams.

“But-“

“It’s fine,” Maya insisted. “We were both kids. You were, what? Sixteen?”

Maya knew fully well that they were both sixteen. It was the beginning of junior year. They had gotten their driving permits and were excited. It was around that time that Maya ruined the most important relationship she’d had with anyone in her entire life.

“That’s hardly a kid.”

“I’m giving you an out,” Maya tried to let out a casual laugh, but it just sounded dry and bitter. “Take it, Matthews.”

Riley didn’t say anything. Maya still hadn’t faced her yet. She honestly wasn’t sure if she could. It was Riley’s request to meet here. Maya had moved on a long time ago. She did. She still looked for Riley in every girl she met, she still longed for the best friend that Riley once was to her, but… she stopped searching. Or, at least she’d really been trying to stop. Sometimes it even worked.

“Why did you ask me come?” Maya finally asked. She tried to keep the question inside because it seemed rude to be so blunt, but Riley didn’t seem like she was getting any closer to revealing the cause for this sudden urge to hang out.

They hadn’t spoken a word to each other in four years. The days of casually hanging out with each other had faded away a long time ago. Scratch that. They didn’t fade away. They just suddenly stopped. One day Maya was in the bay window and the next she was alone. The entire rest of high school she felt so incredibly alone.

“Well,” Riley fiddled with her hands. “I don’t know why I called you. I guess I just, I felt like you should know first. You deserve it, you know?”

“I actually don’t,” she grimaced at the fact that she didn’t know Riley at all anymore. “What’s the big news? Are you getting married or something?”

As much as she tried to make her voice sound nonchalant and like she didn’t care, she knew Riley could see right through it. She could try to lie all she wanted. Riley knew it, though. Whether she called her out or not, Riley knew Maya’s lies.

“I’m gay,” Riley let out.

Maya was surprised Riley was telling her first, but it still didn’t change the past. It didn’t change what happened, it didn’t change that Maya still felt so angry when she saw posts about Riley and her perfect life on Facebook. Was it selfish to hope she was miserable and alone and hadn’t replaced Maya as a best friend yet? Of course. But did Maya hope that anyway? She absolutely did.

She contemplated her words carefully, but she didn’t have an eloquent answer. “I’m glad you figured that out.”

“You seem so shocked,” Riley retorted sarcastically.

Maya just smirked. “I told you I was in love with you and you were giddy with joy and said you felt the same way. Then, you literally just fell of the face of my Earth the next day. I don’t have to be cocky to know when a girl is trapped in the closet.”

“I… Sorry,” she sighed. “I really am, Maya, I really, really,  _really_ am. It’s-“

“Don’t apologize,” she interrupted again. “It’s history. Tell your dad to teach it in a class for other people to learn from us.”

Riley smiled at that.

“He changed my life,” Maya found herself confessing. She cursed herself after the words came out.

“Yeah,” her old best friend sighed happily. “He does that to people.”

Maya was tempted to mention that the girl beside her also did that, but she couldn’t. She had been the bigger person just by agreeing to show up. Feeding Riley’s ego after everything that happened would be too much for her to handle.

“How’s art school going, anyway? Learning how to paint purple cats?”

“I spent the majority of last semester learning how to diffuse heated arguments,” she corrected. She sensed Riley’s surprise and remembered that a year ago she’d asked Farkle to stop giving Riley unneeded information about her. Riley no longer had a source she could use to check up on Maya with. Maya shared her art on Facebook every now and then, but she didn't post about her personal life. “I switched majors," Maya told her. "I’m going into family therapy.”

“Wow.”

That was all Riley could get out. They had talked about Maya’s future of fame and fortune a lot at the beginning of high school. Riley would always say how she pictured Maya living in a fancy apartment in New York City that overlooked the skyline as she had an easel set up on the balcony and painted her view on a thick canvas with acrylic paint. But, Maya had to move on. Besides, family therapy was good. It was fitting. All Maya had ever wanted growing up was a functional family. Of course she’d want to help other people attain that.

“You’ll be good at it,” Riley told her.

Maya’s lips formed into a thin line. It a way, it felt like betraying Riley to give up her art dream. That was the biggest pro and con of switching majors. She wanted to get away from Riley’s version of Maya and become her own Maya, but since Riley had been around so long she wasn’t so sure she knew what her own Maya entailed anymore.

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” she hummed.

The air was filled with silence again. Maya was going to ask Riley about her major and college life, but that seemed friendly. As much as Maya loved and longed for Riley, she wasn’t so sure she could be friendly. Riley was the greatest person on the planet, Maya was sure of it, but maybe she wasn’t the greatest person for her. She bolted when Maya confessed how she felt. She bolted when the entire school had found out she was gay. She bolted when Maya needed her the most. In the end, that’s what it came down to. Maya desperately needed someone and she had left.

“We’re never gonna be friends again, are we, Peaches?” she heard Riley’s meek question.

Maya looked beside her for the first time. The girl beside her looked different. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but she didn’t look like Riley anymore. Her black hair suddenly had blonde highlights and straight across bangs. Her quirky fashion was replaced by trendy, tight fitting clothes. Her eyes had make up around them. She didn’t notice that her version of Riley was make up free until she looked over and saw eye liner on the adult Riley.

She wanted to. She desperately wanted to be friends again, but it was too late. She was never sentimental, so making a vow to herself on how to be happier seemed overly cliché, but when she graduated from high school she found herself swearing that she would never let Riley Matthews back in. Walking away from high school was walking away from Riley. It was just how it had to be.

It was the end of lingering stares in the hallways and forcing bigger smiles when Riley was around to emphasize how happy she could be without her. It was the end of hearing Riley talk to Lucas in the front of their history class while the man that used to be her only father figure cast her worried glances in the back corner as she zoned out and sketched in her notebook. It was the end of constantly needing to put Farkle in awkward positions as he tried to support his two best friends that were no longer best friends.

The hope on Riley’s face was still there. Her stupid attitude of rainbows and sunshine was still there. But this time, it wasn’t enough to pull Maya away from shutting her down. It was just too late. Four years is a long fucking time. She refused to let herself fall in love with Riley again. It was already hard enough trying to find someone to measure up to the person that Riley once was.

She let out a breath, throwing the cigarette butt into the water. Riley opened her mouth, but she didn’t say anything. She kept shifting glances from Maya to the tree to her right to the water to the dock below her to Maya to the tree to her right to the water to the dock below her to Maya to the tree to her right to-

“I don’t think so, Riles,” Maya got out, unable to continue watching Riley’s dodgy gazes.

It worked. Her gaze shifted down, focusing on the wood beneath her. It looked like her eyes were closed, but Maya knew better. She faced the water again once she caught sign of Riley’s quivering lip. She felt horrible, but she also felt free.

Maya and Riley. They’re forever.

Except for when they weren’t.


	2. pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What she was doing was a stupid idea. Maya was very well aware of what a stupid idea it was, but her feet couldn’t stop moving. She’d been home for three weeks, graduated with her bachelor’s degree, each day rubbing in the harsh truth of the present more and more. But she had to visit the apartment that she imagined would still feel like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, yeah, I said it was a oneshot but I just really ship Rilaya at the moment. I apologize for how long this is, so buckle your seatbelts.

What she was doing was a stupid idea. Maya was very well aware of what a stupid idea it was, but her feet couldn’t stop moving. She’d been home for three weeks, graduated with her bachelor’s degree, each day rubbing in the harsh truth of the present more and more. But she had to visit the apartment that she imagined would still feel like home.

 

She was still in New York City, but it didn’t _feel_ like home anymore. She’d gotten a beaten down apartment that was probably in the worst part of the city possible, but it was cheap and she was finding herself to suddenly feel grown up. Or, at least, she thought she was feeling like an adult before she came home.

 

Now, the past three weeks, she’d sat in her apartment. Her and her girlfriend had split at graduation because she was moving to the Midwest and Maya wasn’t so sure she was ready to handle long distance. They called it off and Maya wasn’t sure why it didn’t hurt more.

 

Maybe because she was so closed off. She had told Kendal a lot. She’d told her about her passion for psychology, she told her about how much she loved her mom and dad, she told her about her favorite music and how much she hated concerts.

 

However, there was a lot that she didn't tell her, a lot of her life that Maya refused to let Kendal see.

 

She didn’t tell her she had collections of sketchbooks and paintings galore, all filled with masterpieces she created. She didn’t tell her about how complicated her relationship was with her mom and dad – she left it at, “My mom remarried, but Shawn is better than my birth father ever was” and they never talked about it again, omitting all those feelings she had of being unloved most of while growing up. She didn’t tell her how she actually loved concerts, but she couldn’t handle the memories that came along with that atmosphere.

 

Sitting alone in her apartment, she couldn’t help but realize how badly she wanted to tell someone all that again, yet how incapable she seemed of being able to do it. Some words, some stories, some parts of her life, she associated with Riley. When she didn’t have an unlimited supply of time with her childhood best friend, she didn’t want to share the memories anymore. She didn’t want to share Riley. She had to preserve her.

 

She left that meeting with Riley after their sophomore year in college unable to pretend things were okay. It was a different kind of not being okay, though. It was a kind that it made it clear to her that she had to pull away from everything. Sure, she’d cut Riley out four years before that meeting, but she couldn’t talk to everyone else anymore either. 

 

She couldn’t talk to Farkle about pointless academics without wondering what he and Riley talked about. Smackle was closer to Riley after Maya left and every time Maya thought about that she knew Riley had replaced her. She couldn’t even think about Lucas without being reminded of that stupid, stupid, _stupid_ love triangle they had. Zay she almost kept around, he got the privilege of being in her life longer than the other three, but in the end he had to go too.

 

Maya just couldn’t handle them anymore without her entire being breaking. She couldn’t hold herself together when they were around. She needed to be okay by herself, to be that independent person she had been convinced that she always was. She suddenly realized how much she depended on her five best friends and couldn’t take it. With them there, what if she was never okay again? Cutting them out seemed like the most logical solution. 

 

They had gotten coffee yesterday. The five of them had, without Maya. She knew that’s what probably caused this sudden need to see her again, to visit an apartment that she had abandoned in her past. Seeing them so happy and normal… she longed for that. But still, as much as she wanted that back, she couldn’t stop looking at the girl in the picture that was drinking the large iced coffee, a blissful smile on her face. It was so fucking cliché, but she really was the one that got away.

 

Maya wished she didn’t let her anger consume her two summers ago.

 

When Farkle had actually answered her call twelve hours before this voyage across New York City to Riley's home, Maya was shocked. She thought for sure he would ignore the number – he still hadn’t gotten an explanation from Maya of why she left. Two years prior, she had left without a word. She hated that it reminded her so much of what her dad did to her.

 

So, when he did answer his phone, she was convinced that he must not know who it was anymore.

 

“I know it’s you, Maya,” he chuckled a little when she announced her name. “Believe it or not, I just don’t hate you.”

 

She didn’t know what to say to that, because a part of her hated herself for it, for everything that happened, for why she wasn't in the picture.

 

They had made small talk, exchanged pleasantries. She found out where Farkle was working, heard about his fiancée – who wasn’t Smackle. She listened as he talked about the speech he gave as valedictorian of his college class.

 

“What about you?”

 

She had no idea what to say.

 

It wasn’t that she wanted to cut Farkle out again, but she didn’t do anything the past two years. She had cut them off, gotten engrossed in her studies so she wouldn’t have to think about anything else, and had a nice little fling with a girl for her senior year of college when she thought she was prepared to fall in love again.

 

“I haven’t really done anything. I graduated, that’s about it.”

 

“C’mon,” he pressed. “What about girls? Anything interesting on that front?”

 

Her heart suddenly clenched as the memories flooded of her talking to Farkle about girls before. Usually, it was of one girl. The same one. Every time.

 

“I dated someone, but she moved to Minnesota for some corporate job, so we’re done.”

 

“I’m sorry, Maya,” he said sincerely. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah. We weren’t in love or anything,” she assured him.

 

She surprised herself in saying that. At the time, she had told Kendal she was in love with her. She said the words to her, planned the cute little dates, bought her token gifts, but now it felt like she had simply gone through the motions. She didn’t feel heartbroken enough to have loved her.

 

“How is everyone?” she asked carefully, trying to figure out a way to ask about Riley without asking about Riley. “Lucas and Zay? What are they up to?”

 

“Lucas just moved in with Smackle to an apartment in Manhattan,” he laughed a little. “We’ll see how that one works out.”

 

“That’s an interesting pair,” Maya found herself smiling along with him. “And Zay?”

 

“He’s taking one more semester down at Texas. He sort of failed a few classes his junior year. He really took liberty in having the freedom to legally buy vodka.”

 

“Of course,” she rolled her eyes. Then, it was silent. She wanted to ask about Riley, but she simply didn’t know how.

 

“She’s good too,” Farkle answered the unasked question. “She’s back in New York. She’s at her parents still, but looking for her own place. She majored in Special Education and she really likes it. She's always talking about how she finally found her calling after being so worried she never would. She actually got a job at our old middle school.”

 

“Wow,” Maya got out.

 

She didn’t know what else to say. She noticed that Farkle went more in depth about Riley’s life than the others and she was grateful.

 

“The others would love to see you,” he offered. “We missed you yesterday. We got coffee together for the first time in over a year, all five of us.”

 

She didn’t mention how she had seen that on Facebook. She almost wished Lucas hadn't posted it.

 

“Yeah, I’ll think about going next time,” she promised. “I just don’t think everyone is as… forgiving as you.”

 

“Oddly enough, I think you’d be surprised. It’s not like you’re unspoken of. We always reminisce and, like it or not, you’re still there. You’ll always be a part of us. Whether you want to rejoin the group or not.”

 

She felt her cheeks start to burn crimson. This was it. This was how it felt to be loved and appreciated by the people that you loved and appreciated with all your heart.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Don’t mention it. I gotta go, though,” he sighed. “I need a haircut before my first day of work at the new company next week.”

 

“Your big boy job, huh?”

 

“Don’t be a stranger, Maya,” he laughed at the sense of wit. “I hope you call again soon. If you don’t, it was nice-“

 

“I will,” she promised.

 

They hung up, but the phone call hadn’t helped like she’d expected. It helped in a way, just not the way she’d thought. She had expected Farkle to yell, to see how far removed she was from the group, to realize that it was too late to feel so cared for again. She didn’t get that, so now, her thoughts were racing even more than before.

 

She kept walking along the sidewalk, the sun beginning to set, her heart beginning to pound more and more. She was only a block away now. She didn’t know if Riley would even be home, but that old apartment she’d used to spend her days in had been calling her from across the city. It was begging her to come over. She couldn’t ignore the pleas any longer.

 

She stood in front of that door. She had thought she’d be dramatic about it all, that she’d sit and stare like they did in the movies, but she did quite the opposite. She couldn’t wait to knock.

 

The door swung open to reveal an older version of Mr. Matthews. His eyes were confused for a second, then they weren’t. They smiled at her, sort of like how they used to.

 

“Maya,” he got out. “Wow, I – how have you been?”

 

“You know, same old.”

 

She knew that he probably didn’t know what ‘same old’ meant anymore.

 

“Sorry, I’m just – I’m surprised to see you. Shawn didn’t tell me you were coming. Uh – well, yeah, come in! Come in, have a seat!”

 

He stepped aside, allowing her in the apartment for the first time in six years.

 

“Maya?” Auggie asked incredulously, turning around from grabbing a snack from the fridge.

 

“Hey, Aug,” she got out a friendly wave for the not so little boy anymore. She wanted to cry at how tall he was, how deep his voice had gotten, how his hair was no longer so shaggy, but outright long. This was her little Auggie?

 

There was shuffling in a room down the back hallway. Maya didn’t know if it was Topanga or Riley. In fact, she didn’t even know which one she was hoping it was.

 

“Oh my God, Maya!” Topanga gasped as she appeared in the living room. “It’s been a while since the front door has seen you!”

 

It used to be a playful phrase, a taunting remark referring to how Maya always crawled in through a window. Now, the phrase stung a bit.

 

“I didn’t mean-“

 

“I know,” Maya promised.

 

Cory stepped towards them, a small smile on his face. “I’m assuming you’re not here for us.”

 

“No, I missed you guys,” Maya tried to lie.

 

Topanga rolled her eyes. Even Auggie wasn’t young enough to believe that anymore. “Riley will be home soon. She’s on a date.”

 

The name made her heart stop. The location made it break.

 

Somehow, she managed to force out a smile nonetheless. “Oh, okay. I’ll come by another time.”

 

“Maya, you’ve waited for her here before,” Topanga beamed at her. “It’s not a big deal. Besides, we can talk to you, you can fill us in.”

 

“I need to study for finals,” Auggie spoke up, excusing himself.

 

Maya wondered if Riley had ever filled her family in on the truth. On what really happened, on why they really drifted. She knew in high school she had made up an excuse to her dad about how it got too awkward when Riley began dating Lucas. Did she ever admit what Maya did? What Riley didn't do?

 

The analytical looks Maya received from her history teacher six years ago, after they’d stopped talking, gave Maya a pretty good idea that Cory didn’t buy his daughter's stories and explanations, but he never brought up. Thank God he didn’t. Maya wasn’t so sure she would have handled that too well.

 

They asked her about college and she filled them in, telling them how she’d be starting at NYU in the fall to begin her master’s degree. In the mean time she was working with the foster system, which both Cory and Topanga seemed intrigued with.

 

Maya asked how Cory was doing with his promotion. None of them mentioned how Maya wasn’t there to say congratulations when he got it. The other five were, but instead of bring them up he just began to tell her how different it was from teaching history lessons everyday and never getting to the story Belgium: 1831.

 

Around eleven both of Riley’s parents announced they were heading to bed. Maya felt awkward when they said she could stay, but it’d be weird to leave after she’d already been there for three and half hours. She sat on the sofa, waiting for Riley to get home, trying to figure out why she was there and what exactly she planned to say.

 

At seven minutes until midnight Riley walked in the door. She had a smile on her face, turning around to lock it. Maya held her breath, knowing Riley hadn’t seen the glimpse of her on the couch before she’d turned to lock the door. In two seconds she’d turn around and Maya still had no idea what she’d say to her.

 

When she did turn, facing Maya for the first time in two years, her smile fell. She froze. They both did.

 

“Surprise!” Maya got out with fake enthusiasm.

 

The moment the words were out she wanted to punch herself in the fucking face. That was the best she could come up with? Her first word in two years was ‘surprise’?

 

“What – what are you doing here?”

 

“I was talking to your parents, but they went to bed.”

 

Riley nodded. Maya could tell she noticed that she left the question completely unanswered. They both knew Maya wasn't sitting in Riley's living room, alone, while her parents slept, because she wanted to visit Cory and Topanga.

 

“Your dad mentioned you were on a date, but he said I could wait,” she explained.

 

Riley stammered out her words, clearly filled with confusion and shock. Maya had a good idea of what that felt like.

 

“Yeah, it was a third first date.”

 

“That sounds… complicated,” she snorted a little.

 

To her surprise, Riley smiled at that. “Trust me, it is. We’re a very on again, off again couple. Zach is a pain in my ass.”

 

Maya raised her eyebrow for a moment, and not because Riley had sworn, but she quickly let it relax again. Zach wasn’t a girl’s name. Riley wasn’t out. She had never come out.

 

They were still friends on Facebook, but neither of them used their account much. Maya didn’t want her high school friends to see anything about her new life, yet didn’t want to be childish and unfriend the five of them, so she just stopped posting. She wasn’t sure why Riley stopped sharing funny memes and pictures of her out with her friends, but Maya had noticed the shift on her newsfeed immediately. She began only seeing her when other people tagged her in pictures.

 

“I, uh… yeah, I’m not gay,” she said quietly, her eyes shifting to the hallway her parents rooms were down. Maya realized then that she had never given them the truth. To her parents, they still stopped talking because of Lucas. Riley sighed, shaking her head. “It was… complicated.”

 

“That’s a theme in your life, huh?” Maya tried to tease.

 

Riley was still dazed. “Yeah.”

 

“I don’t know why I’m here,” she confessed.

 

That made her old best friend smile a little. Even after all this time, Maya felt like when Riley looked at her she was the only person who was able to read what was inside of her. When Riley stared with those brown eyes, she knew she could analyze the littlest thoughts and feelings. It used to make her feel vulnerable when they had their fall out in high school. In the Matthews’ living room, six years later, it felt nice. She’d forgotten how it felt to be automatically understood.

 

“I was wondering if you did,” Riley bit her lip. Well  _that_ was a new habit.

 

Maya smiled at the fact that Riley’s face hadn’t scowled at her yet.

 

“I needed to see you, I guess,” the tiny blonde confessed.

 

She hated that she still felt that way. She hadn’t needed to see anyone in years. Or, maybe she did. Maybe it was just easier to ignore the longing for Riley. It was easier to deny herself that than face the fact that she wasn’t as self-sufficient and cold hearted as she’d always thought she was.

 

“Fair enough,” she shrugged. “Do you want to go for a walk or something?”

 

She almost objected, then she remembered this wasn’t her neighborhood. It was safe to walk around in the middle of the night here. At least, they always had before and nothing had happened yet.

 

“Yeah,” Maya agreed. She could almost hear Riley’s parents eavesdropping. “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

They were on the street. It was the middle of June and the air was warmer than it usually was, nothing like it had been on the dock.

 

“How’ve you been?” Riley asked.

 

She didn’t know if it was to be polite or not, but she didn’t really care. This time, she wanted to answer. “You know, Mayaish.”

 

The tall girl beside her let out a real laugh at that. “We haven’t had a proper conversation in six years and the adjective you choose to describe your life is Mayaish?”

 

“It hasn’t been six years,” Maya rolled her eyes.

 

This time, Riley didn’t let it go, she didn't mindlessly agree with her. “I don’t count the conversation we had two years ago as a proper one.”

 

Maya didn’t reply. She didn’t know where to start. Should she apologize? Admit she regretted how that played out? Admit that she missed Riley so much that she _had_ to block out her entire support system from New York? She wasn’t used to being that vulnerable anymore. She wasn’t sure she even could be.

 

“That was our sophomore year,” Riley recalled.

 

It was weird that they had another sophomore year. Maya liked to focus on the first sophomore year she had, the one where she had best friends – and Riley. That was the last year she had Riley. After that they only spoke through their mutual friends.

 

The second sophomore year, the _college_ sophomore year… that was lonely. And angry. And Maya didn’t like to think about it.

 

As she walked next to Riley, she realized she didn’t smell like vanilla anymore. Now she smelled like strawberries and Maya felt her heart aching at how much she no longer knew the girl. She was a stranger, yet the most familiar face she knew.

 

“I…” she trailed off.

 

Thinking back, she wasn’t sure if she’d uttered a single apology to anyone in the past six years. Usually, she just cut off the friend if they had a fight that was big enough where she owed them an apology.

 

She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Riles. I – you – I don’t know what I’m doing, to be completely honest.”

 

“I didn’t when I called you two years ago,” she confessed. "I thought I did, but then I saw you and I was lost at what to say. My mind went blank."

 

"You're describing me right now," Maya took a deep breath. “I was gonna just let it go, not come over, not reach out… It’s been two years, you know? That's a long time, but...”

 

“Six,” Riley once again corrected.

 

“Yeah,” Maya sighed.

 

They were silent. She saw Riley open her mouth out of the corner of her eye, but she shut again. Maya pretended she didn’t see it in the first place.

 

“Were you really in love with me?” Riley finally asked. “I mean, we were young, only sixteen. Do you still think you were?”

 

With anyone else in the world she would lie to protect herself. “I know I was.”

 

“Oh,” she said. "Wow."

 

Maya didn’t know what that meant. It was only two words, spoken separately, two single words, but she couldn’t look far into it. Riley seemed more guarded now. It was as if she was a book that Maya used to read so easily, but the novel was suddenly filled with big words that she couldn't understand.

 

“I was going to tell you I was in love with you too,” Riley suddenly admitted when Maya had thought the awkward, unspoken subject had died. “On the dock… I had it all planned out, some cheesy, well rehearsed speech. Then, I saw you, unable to even look at me, and I forgot everything I'd came for. It was dumb.”

 

“I was pretty bitter,” Maya tried to laugh at herself, but she didn’t find it all too funny. “Bitter and sad. Sorry I didn’t hear you out.”

 

“Don’t worry. I was shocked you even showed up.”

 

She shook her head in amusement. “I was mad, but I still loved you. I would never stand you up, Riley, date or not.”

 

This time, it was Riley who didn’t reply. Maya wanted to ask the question. She wanted to bring up the topic so badly, but she wasn’t sure if it was her right anymore. In fact, she knew it wasn’t her right, but she still selfishly wanted to ask.

 

“Spit it out,” Riley laughed.

 

“You never came out.”

 

It wasn’t a question, but it definitely was not a simple observance. She heard Riley claim not to be gay earlier, she just had a lot of trouble believing it.

 

“I'm not gay," she stated confidently. Before Maya could shrug that off, her shoulders slumped a little. "Well, I don't know. I don't _think_ I am."

 

Maya looked away. After everything that happened in high school, how could she not think she was gay - or at least bisexual? She found herself feeling hurt, though. If Riley thought she wasn't gay anymore, that meant she thought she'd never been in love. Every part of her that had been uplifted a minute ago after hearing Riley's declaration of her feelings fell again. Riley had realized she was wrong about them. Or, at least, she convinced herself she was.

 

“You never loved me back, then?”

 

“I did,” Riley instantly corrected. “It’s like, I loved you. I was so in love with you, I realized that when we separated for college and you forbade Farkle from giving me updates about you. I just… it was only you, Maya. It was never any other girls, I’ve only liked guys my whole life. Except for you.”

 

Even after all this time, Maya found herself loving the way her name sounded when it resounded through Riley’s lips.

 

“That sounds confusing,” Maya grimaced.

 

“Add it to the list of reasons of why my life is complicated.”

 

“Noted,” she smirked.

 

“You’ve always been confident about it,” Riley told her what Maya had tried so hard to project. “It was so easy for you.”

 

“Riley, I told the girl I was in love with how I felt and ended up losing my best friend,” Maya brought up the bitter truth. She didn’t want to say it, but it needed to be said. “It was never easy for me. Some days it still isn’t.”

 

Riley sighed, going over to sit on steps that led up to someone’s apartment complex. Maya figured no one would be coming out of the door on top of the concrete steps, so she sat down beside her.

 

“I know it doesn’t fix what happened, but I did miss you, Riles. A lot.”

 

“You too, Peaches.”

 

Maya couldn’t even hide the smile that poured out of her when she heard that. She thought she'd been elated when Riley said her name again, so now she was on top of the world. It sounded stupid, but she couldn’t even eat peaches without thinking of the past, so the nickname was amazing to hear. It gave her hope that hadn’t been there in a long time. Hope was for suckers. In middle school, she began to believe that she was wrong about that. After losing Riley due to her blind optimism that everything would turn out okay if she randomly came out and declared her love at the same time… Hope was definitely for suckers.

 

“We can be okay, you know?” Riley got out.

 

They didn’t look at each other, both staring at the quiet street. Maya didn’t know what that meant, what ‘okay’ entailed nowadays, but she knew that she liked the sound of it.

 

“We can.”

 

Riley turned to her with a serious look this time. “I’m not gay, though.”

 

“So, you’ve said,” she replied.

 

It was a little late for that. She already admitted how confused she was by her own feelings, but Maya didn’t feel like she was in the place to test her luck by pointing that out.

 

“But I like _you_ ,” Riley whispered so softly that Maya almost didn’t hear it over the honking horn that sounded like it was blocks away.

 

“I heard that too.”

 

“Just making sure,” she let out a shy smile.

 

Maya felt her heart fluttering, but she tried her best to ignore it, to ignore that nagging feeling of hope. She couldn’t do that to herself again. If she hoped, she would be let down, she always was. _Hope is for suckers_ , she tried to convince herself. _Hope is for god damn suckers_.

 

Yet, Riley Matthews gave her an incredible amount of hope that things might just turn out alright, and she wasn’t so sure she could ignore that this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure if I'll be adding to this, I just felt compelled to write another part that wasn't so depressing. Let me know if you'd read more if I posted it :)


	3. pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya meets with the three boys, who know more than Riley thinks. Farkle, Zay and Lucas speculate Riley's sexuality while Maya feels... a lot. She feels a lot.

“My, my, my, if it isn’t the famous Maya Hunter,” she heard Lucas drawl out when she stepped into pizzeria.

 

“Hey, Ranger Rick,” she replied with the smirk that hadn't changed over the years.

 

His big smile turned into a big eye roll. “You know, I didn’t miss that nickname.”

 

“You did and we both know it,” she shot back with a spark in her eye that had been missing for years.

 

She smiled to herself at the ease of it all. Ever since she reached out again, things had been easy with them. They weren't mad about the past and she found that she still felt comfortable around them, which she hadn't felt around anyone other than her mom and dad in a long time. 

 

Welcome home, Maya.

 

Lucas didn’t say anything. He couldn't - or at least, he couldn't without lying. Everyone at that table knew that the second Maya had left the annoying nickname had become missed.

 

“Hey, Maya,” Farkle smiled.

 

Zay looked at her too, grinning. “Haven’t see you in a while, huh?”

 

“How are my boys doing?” she asked warmly.

 

It was two days after she had seen Riley. They had left awkwardly that night, but it had helped her come to the conclusion that maybe allowing herself to be known again wouldn’t be such a bad thing. It hit her that, maybe, all that time ago, it hadn’t been such an awful thing to have people know her secrets.

 

Still, the confidence she was exhibiting was stretching her comfort zone. She was nervous. She hadn’t gotten nervous in a long time, but these people were her family and it was the first time she was seeing them as a group. With most of the people she’d associated with in the past year, she didn’t care. She didn’t care if they didn’t like her, because she wasn’t there for friends. She was at college to learn, if people didn’t like her, oh well.

 

In New York, in this cheesy pizza restaurant, with Farkle, Zay, and Lucas… she found herself really hoping they’d still like her.

 

All three boys let out a round of laughs. Maya didn’t want to invite Riley and seem like she was creepy or desperate, so she figured she’d wait until the boys offered, but they never did and she found herself disappointed that she wasn't here with them. It didn't take long to figure out why she wasn't.

 

“Smackle is hurt that she wasn’t included in this,” Lucas brought up after they’d fought past the awkward tension.

 

Maya raised an eyebrow. “She could have came, you know?”

 

“We didn’t know if-“ he cut himself off.

 

She looked around the three of them, all looking stronger and manlier since she’d last seen them, yet their glances were the same as the boys she’d left. They all suddenly stared at the blank table.

 

“Know if…what?” she tried to laugh the discomfort away.

 

Farkle was the one to break the silence. Maya had realized by now that he had became quite well spoken in the past two years. “We didn’t know if you wanted to see Riley.”

 

“I’m over it,” Maya waved a hand through the air nonchalantly.

 

She glanced down, but recovered quickly, meeting their eyes. They all nodded quickly. She didn’t know if they believed her or not, but she was glad they weren’t going to try to force her to talk about what happened.

 

“That doesn’t mean she is.”

 

She grimaced. Or, maybe they would be talking about what happened.

 

The past two years, Maya had been trying to ignore the fact that she wasn’t the only one who had felt pain when she walked away from that dock, but it had became crystal clear the past two days that Riley had lost someone too. And, quite similarly to Maya, Riley had informed her that she didn’t talk about it either. Maya chose not to mention Riley to new friends, but she imagined Riley just felt trapped. She had spent a long time in the closet, too, before she’d came out. She knew what it was like to love someone with all your heart and not be able to tell anyone.

 

“Riley is way over it,” she promised them. “I saw her the other day. We’re fine.”

 

“You saw her?” Zay gawked. “In the flesh? You saw her? You talked to her?”

 

“No need to make a big deal out of it,” she mumbled.

 

All three boys didn’t look at her now, but rather each other. They seemed to be communicating about something that Maya didn’t know. She felt hurt that she no longer could participate in the games of talking with their eyes.

 

“Sorry,” Farkle recovered for all of them. “She just didn’t mention it. We thought she would.”

 

That led Maya to a smirk. “Do you all talk about me often?”

 

“We don’t,” Zay clarified. “Riley, on the other hand…”

 

“Zay,” Lucas hissed.

 

“Don’t act like Maya doesn’t know how she feels.”

 

That comment surprised her. Maya knew how Riley felt about everything after their conversation two nights ago, but how did they know?

 

Maya knew that Riley hadn’t told them she was ‘not gay’. They had sat on those steps until three in the morning catching each other up and one of Maya’s questions was if she’d ever came clean to the other four about how she felt or what really ruined them. Maya was positive she remembered the answer correctly.

 

It was hard to forget Riley bashfully looking down, whispering, “I’m sorry.”

 

Shaking her head from the reverie, Maya furrowed her eyebrows and played dumb. “Feels about what?”

 

“You know,” Zay suddenly got shy, not willing to own up to his insinuation. “Just, stuff. Girl stuff. Crush stuff. First loves. That sort of thing.”

 

“I think I’m missing something, actually,” she held firm.

 

If they were going to accuse Riley of having feelings for her, she wanted to hear it out loud. She wanted to hear from these now-men that Riley loved her back. She wanted to hear it out of someone else’s mouth, because no one had ever said that before. She never talked about the extent of her’s and Riley’s relationship to anyone in her life out of fear that they’d confirm that it had always been a one sided love affair.

 

Maya filled Farkle in on the basics after everything happened at the beginning of junior year, who she knew had filled in the other three afterwards, but she never wanted to talk about Riley's end of it. In high school, she’d occasionally make sly remarks referring to her intense feelings of Riley, but whenever he, or anyone, asked her to expand on them she shut down. She just couldn’t do it. It felt wrong talking about Riley. After so many years of refusing to talk about her behind her back, guilt had somehow set in every time she spoke about Riley when she wasn't there to defend herself. So, she didn't. She just didn't talk about her.

 

That didn’t stop the fact from being known. She never had to say that that their fall out happened due to Maya confessing her feelings. Neither did Riley. It was clear through every action Maya made that she was desperately in love, Maya knew that. At the time, she thought she was being mysterious, but in reality, looking back, it was just a silent story she told. The story didn’t need words for people to understand how beautifully tragic it was.

 

“You and Riley were just really close,” Lucas interjected, trying to smooth everything over. “She really liked you, that’s all.”

 

He did a pretty poor job at hiding his glare towards Zay, both his and Farkle’s disbelief and annoyance becoming obvious.

 

Suddenly, Maya found herself wanting to abort this. She didn’t want to know if they thought Riley was in love with her or if they knew she was ‘not gay’. If they did, they’d want to talk to her about it, and she didn’t know what she’d say about Riley – or Riley’s sexuality – without making it painfully obvious that seeing her again had already fucked Maya up.

 

Seeing that dark brown hair the way it used to be, in person, without the persona Riley had been trying to pull off at the dock, left her in awe. She didn’t think it would make her feel so… so Mayaish. Once again, that was her only adjective.

 

“Yeah? So? She was the best friend I ever had in my childhood,” she shrugged it off, shrugged off their entire conversation from the night before, trying desperately to downplay the most important relationship she’d had in her life. “Trust me. Riley… she’s not gay, guys.”

 

Maya wanted to laugh at the words. It felt so unreal that they were having this conversation. Then, she smiled. Riley might not be gay, but she was in love with Maya at one point. Even if it was just for a little while, just as kids, or young adults, or whenever, she was still in love with her, once upon a time.

 

“We know what happened at the dock,” Farkle suddenly spoke up, his demeanor stoic and strong, but also, extremely hard to read.

 

Her eyes almost bulged out of her head. “You know what?”

 

“Well, not exactly what, but the gist,” he corrected himself.

 

Her heart slowed down a little. She still felt guilty for what happened, how she acted, how it was her fault their past two days of texting had felt awkward and uncomfortable instead of homely. She knew rationally that she had no way of knowing what Riley wanted, but she regretted that she wouldn't listen. If she had just listened... everything would have been so different for her.

 

It also surprised her that the other four people, besides her and Riley, even knew about the meeting on the dock. She figured Riley would shove it under the rug and not bring it up to them. In fact, she was almost sure she would have. 

 

“Tell me, Farkle,” she sang with playful eyes that hid her anxious core as she balanced on the thin line of honesty versus protecting Riley's secrets. “What do you think happened with me and Riley?”

 

“She called us,” he announced. Maya noticed he looked the two men beside him, almost as if for assurance that it was okay to tell her this. “Not together. She called us one by one, the day before you two met up. She gauged all of us out, thinking she was hiding what was going on with her. She asked me and Zay about love, Maya.”

 

Maya crossed her arms, not giving into this story so easily. “She had been dating Ranger Rick over here for four years at that point, and I don’t know if you remember, but Riley was obsessed with the magic of first loves. I didn’t even directly talk to her and I knew that. She was just in love at the time, what’s your point, Minkus?”

 

“Maybe she was ‘just in love at the time’,” Lucas spoke up, mocking the tough demeanor Maya was attempting to uphold. He crossed his arms too, meeting Maya’s gaze with a challenge that no one had given her in such a long time. “But it was never with me.”

 

“Don’t be stupid. She-“

 

“After she called Farkle and Zay about her quarter life crisis of love, she didn’t call me,” he relayed this untold story from two years ago as if it was crystal clear to him. “At least, not at first. When she finally did, she was crying and asked to meet me immediately. It was five in the morning, she seemed upset, so me, being the perfect gentleman,” he teased, “went over to her apartment complex. We watched the sunrise from the rooftop, I comforted her and then she broke up with me when daylight set in.”

 

Her head spun with thoughts at how simple Lucas made all that sound. Riley had broken up with Lucas the morning she’d came to see her at the dock. Maya couldn’t help but remember that she didn’t seem too heartbroken over it. All she could remember was Riley’s nervous attempts at making small talk and herself shutting it down.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she sighed, trying to act sad, when she was honestly just surprised.

 

She hadn’t heard the story of how they’d broken up. Zay mentioned it in passing during the few weeks when she continued to talked to him after the dock incident, but Maya didn’t ask him any questions about it. At the time, she couldn’t talk about Riley without crying, so she let the matter rest at the fact that Riley and Lucas were no longer together. She couldn’t have handled the details back then. Everything was too fragile.

 

“The story isn’t done, but thanks for the sympathy,” Lucas smirked. Maya felt bad at how obvious it was that her pity act was completely fake. “She then told me she was in love with someone else, someone she’d known for a long time. Wouldn’t give me a name and said I didn’t know them. She cleverly avoided pronouns, imagine that,” he mused as if this was all some joke.

 

Maya hadn’t talked to Riley too in depth about her confusion over her sexuality, but she knew that the tall, scrawny girl would be quite uncomfortable with the subject of this conversation. Whether Riley would admit it or not, the idea of not being straight terrified her. It was written on her face, in her eyes, in her posture when she spoke about it. Not blatantly, it probably was unseen to one of her new college friends, but in a way that Maya could tell.

 

She was shocked that the others couldn’t hear her shrieking, screaming heartbeat at this point. She wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but she knew she wasn’t going to admit that they were right about everything - or anything, for that matter.

 

“I don’t know what your point is,” she held strong. She could do this all night.

 

“My point is, she showed up to our first get together of the summer two days later and looked like she’d been run over by a bulldozer. Not even a truck," Lucas made sure to clarify. "Definitely a bulldozer.”

 

All three boys were staring at Maya, trying to take in her reaction and she couldn’t help but wonder when the hell they had gotten so perceptive. She tried to put on the best mask she could, but it was getting hard to do. Suddenly she felt emotions again. She felt a lot of them. So, she sat there, staring at them all back with what she hoped was a neutral expression.

 

“She said that she’d met with you on a dock somewhere,” Zay informed her. Then, he let loose a little, laughing. “We all remember it well, because we didn’t even know there is a dock around here.”

 

“She said she tried to apologize to you,” Lucas spoke softly, his words suddenly slower and more ginger as he studied the blonde.

 

They all studied her, watching for a reaction. Suddenly, the playfulness was gone. She knew they were trying to make sure she wouldn’t cry or freak out, which was dumb because she’d rarely ever done that since high school. Maybe that was their point. After all, these heavy emotions felt a lot like high school.

 

Maya simply pursed her lips, giving a curt nod. She knew how Riley felt about her. She heard her loud and clear in the darkness of the New York street. When Riley had said she’d been in love with her, Maya could hear that louder than ever. 

 

However, she also saw the worried look in Riley’s eyes when it came to other people knowing about that. She noticed how her head hung low when she mentioned no one else knew about Riley’s confession of being gay two years ago. She didn’t want them to know. At the end of the day, it came down to the fact that Riley didn’t want any of the three boys in front of her to know. It might have been a long time since they’d been inseparable, but Maya still planned to keep their talk on the dock confidential, so whatever declaration or confirmation or revelation or any other –ation they were trying to get out of her, she refused to do it.

 

“She did apologize. That doesn’t mean she was in love with me. Riley is straight. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise, you're overthinking it.”

 

“Maya, who else was Riley friends with and knew so well for ‘a long time’? The only person she was ever trying to catch they eye of was you,” Lucas continued to press. “In high school we were blind about it, we figured it just became too awkward for her to keep talking to you, but the signs just fit more and more as time went on.” 

 

Farkle spoke up tenderly, his eyes trying to meet Maya’s. When Maya noticed his extra effort to obtain eye contact, she suddenly felt the need to look away.

 

“It was always you, Maya,” he told her lowly. “She finally realized that it was always you.”

 

And those were the magic words.

 

Maya quickly got up, swiftly turning around and exiting the restaurant. She heard them follow her out, but she couldn’t do it. She could be friends with them, but she could not, under any circumstances, have this conversation. She thought she wanted to hear it. She thought she could, but the reality was, the truth made her feel so guilty. Maya knew how it felt to realize you love someone and have them run away. She couldn’t forget how that felt, and she couldn't forget how she'd done it to Riley.

 

She began running, weaving in and out of people on the New York sidewalks. She wasn’t in the best shape, so she didn’t run far before she slowed to a steady walk. Her breathing wasn’t heavy from running, though. It was rapid, her heart still pounding, but that wasn’t due to running. Riley realized it was her. Two years ago, Riley had finally realized it, but Maya wouldn’t even hear her out.

 

She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped, spinning around. She kept a blank expression when she saw Lucas behind her.

 

“Really, Huckleberry? You followed me?”

 

“Don’t act surprised, you didn’t run too far. Even Farkle could’ve kept up if we knew you'd stop here, but we weren’t sure how far you’d go and I have the most endurance.”

 

His casualty almost forced her to laugh. If she wasn’t feeling like such a horrible person she might have.

 

“We didn’t mean to upset you,” he said, his eyes softer than they were a few minutes ago.

 

She turned around and kept walking down the sidewalk. As expected, he began to walk beside her.

 

“She’s straight,” she repeated pointedly.

 

For the first time, he let out an actual groan. “I know your life hasn’t been the easiest, but is it so hard to accept that she might just love you back?”

 

Her eyes narrowed, her head fiercely shaking at that. “You don’t know me, alright? We haven’t spoken in two years. I’m fine if people love me, I’m not the damaged girl in high school any more. I’ve moved on, you should too.”

 

“You might have moved on from high school, but this – this entire situation – it’s clearly still an open wound for you,” he said as if she hadn’t picked up on that by now.

 

She didn’t admit that though, just shrugging off the comment. “I’m fine, Lucas. You’re reading too far into it.”

 

“And the fact that she loved you? That doesn’t bother you at all?”

 

“Okay, listen up, Cowboy,” Maya let out an airy laugh, her edgy attitude finding its way to her again. “Just because she didn’t love you doesn’t mean she loved me. We were friends. That’s it. She probably came to me for advice about this mysterious love interest in a desperate moment and I wouldn’t listen, I told her we’d never be friends again, she got upset. She was not in love with me, so drop it.”

 

She knew her voice betrayed her the minute she began ranting. There was no longer an annoying tone to it, now it was urgent. It was an urgent matter that they dropped the topic.

 

“Fine,” Lucas reluctantly agreed. “Yeah, okay. It’s dropped.”

 

“And never bring it up to her. Ever. Do you understand?”

 

This time, she knew her worried eyes betrayed her, probably conveying to him exactly how protective she still was over the girl that used to sit with her in bay windows.

 

“Maya-“

 

“Is it dropped?” she tested him, not wanting to hear that pathetic tone of pity for her. She really did think she was over it, before a few days ago.

 

“It’s dropped,” he promised. “But-“

 

“Good,” Maya forced a smile with finality. “Then, let’s go back.”

 

They began walking back, but not another word was spoken. She had done it. Although it was by accident and subconsciously, she had shut down on them again. She regained her composure, managing to stand up straight by the time her and Lucas were back in front of the quaint pizza place. Zay and Farkle were waiting outside, worried expressions across their faces.

 

“Not a word to her,” she told them all lowly, not expanding on what part of the conversation to keep from Riley Matthews. She didn’t need to. She didn’t want Riley to hear about any of what was spoken today.

 

“Did you like the pizza?” Zay made a lame attempt at changing the subject.

 

No matter how lame, Maya was grateful.

 

“It was pretty good. I forgot what real pizza was like. I mainly ate salads at school.” They all gawked at her for a moment and she rolled her eyes. “You act like salads are unheard of.”

 

“Because you hate salads,” Lucas laughed.

 

She didn’t care that it was a stupid, mundane conversation of small talk, she was just glad the conversation was off Riley. She smiled up at them at the relief of being done with that subject. She definitely wasn’t prepared for what had just happened.

 

They knew Riley loved her. They all knew, even though Riley still thought she did a great job of hiding it from them.

 

Half of Maya felt bad that Riley wasn’t nearly as subtle and in the closet as she thought she was. The other half felt incredibly special that Riley loved her so much that she didn’t have to come out – her friends just knew.

 

She realized what a mess her life suddenly was. It was no coincidence that it became messy again when Riley waltzed back into it, but she didn’t care. This, right here, all these people? This was the life she’d been missing. No matter how messy it was, this was it. This was Maya Hunter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written a (semi) Rilaya fic. It's three in the morning and I don't want to edit it, so if there's mistakes, I'm sorry. I just had to write something. It's better than therapy, I swear. I hope you liked it :)


	4. pt. 4

Riley had texted Maya a couple times, but they certainly weren’t best friends again. Maya didn’t know what they were, other than extremely awkward. She longed to tell Riley everything, past and present. She thought after that late night on the street they might go back to who they were. They didn’t. Riley still seemed unnervingly reserved and Maya didn’t want to push her. She wasn’t sure if Riley would have allowed her to push, even if she tried.

 

She walked into the coffee shop, the one she’d seen her five friends in a week prior from that photo on Facebook. It was six thirty in the morning and Maya still wasn’t sure how she was convinced to meet them there so early. The sun was barely risen.

 

Walking in, she saw the counter was busy, but not many people were sitting down. They were just leaving after they picked up their coffee. Maya couldn’t say she blamed them, it was too damn early for this. She couldn’t stay too long, either. At seven she’d have to leave and begin her own walk to work.

 

She settled for a booth in the corner after she’d gotten her order, leaning her head back and closing her eyes as she waited for the others to come. She wrapped her hands around the cool cup filled with vanilla iced coffee. She thought about how she used to order caramel coffees. Then, Riley left, and suddenly vanilla iced coffees were the only thing she really had to hold onto.

 

“I see Maya Hunter isn’t nearly as perky in the mornings as she used to be.”

 

She’d recognize that calming voice anywhere she went. She didn’t have to open her eyes to see the smile that would be there, but she opened them anyway. Sure enough, the smile was there.

 

“Hello, Peaches, so nice of you to wake up,” she teased, sitting across from her with her own light brown iced coffee.

 

Six years ago, it would’ve bothered Maya that she had sat across from her in a booth rather than beside her, but at the moment she felt on top of the world over the fact that she was even sharing a table with Riley Matthews.

 

“I think it’s _you_ who was perky and it just forced me to be in order to keep up with your sporadic antics,” Maya recalled with her own smile. “When I stopped going to your house the whole morning person thing wore off quick. Trust me.”

 

“Let’s not talk about that,” Riley kept on a smile, but it looked forced all of the sudden. Maya knew why.

 

They hadn’t talked about anything from the past after their late night conversation. At this point, she wasn’t sure if they ever would. When it came to talking about things of substance, they both steered clear of the conversation. One of them would quickly switch subjects. They texted small talk, pleasantries, teasing remarks, but the one topic that was off limits was high school.

 

Maya sensed that it was easier for Riley to fill her in on what Farkle was up to in college than herself. Honestly, Maya could fully admit to herself that it was probably easier for her to hear. She knew Riley must have built a life without her in it, she had to have, it had been two – or six – years. That didn’t mean Maya wanted to hear about it, to hear how great life was.

 

Riley boldly took the iced coffee from between Maya’s hands and took a tentative slip. Maya let it happen, watching with a raised eyebrow.

 

She watched as the tall girl’s eyes widened a little, looking at her with disbelief. “We switched orders.”

 

“Huh?” Maya asked. That was not the reaction she was expecting. In fact, she was utterly shocked that Riley had even remembered her favorite coffee flavor.

 

“This is _not_ caramel,” Riley noted, her voice very matter-of-fact. “Mine, however, is.”

 

“No way,” Maya laughed, taking Riley’s cup from her. She took a sip through the straw and a smile fell to her face. “Well, well, I guess we have.”

 

Maya pushed Riley’s coffee back towards her, but the girl across from her stopped it. “I forgot how much I missed vanilla. I want this one.”

 

“That was my coffee,” Maya crossed her arms.

 

To that, Riley rolled her eyes. “You can try to act tough, but it’s clear that you missed your stupid caramel flavor as much as I missed this one.”

 

“If it’s so stupid, why did you order it?” Maya challenged, a soft spark in her eye at bantering with Riley. It felt natural.

 

She received the same spark back as Riley leaned in towards the table, laying her forearms flatly across it. “Why did you get vanilla?”

 

At first she was taken aback. “Because, I-“

 

“Hey!”

 

Both girls jumped at the energetic voice. Maya weakly forced her best attempt of a smile at Lucas. She couldn’t help but feel annoyed by his presence. She knew she shouldn’t be, except she was, because her and Riley had been talking, really talking, for the first time since Maya had shocked her at the Matthews’ apartment two weeks ago.

 

Maya wasn’t in the mood to share her. Still, the fact was, it didn’t matter what Maya was in the mood for. Riley was no longer hers. Technically, she never had been, but now, she wasn’t even her best friend. Maya had no right to hoard her.

 

Besides, Maya had no good reason for why their orders would have switched, so in a way, Lucas had just saved her from muttering a lame excuse.

 

“Farkle is flirting again,” he pointed out.

 

Maya looked over and was in awe. Farkle actually had game. The words Farkle and Flirting led Maya to brace herself for an awkward sight, but he was holding his own.

 

“That’s the same one he talked to as last week,” Riley remarked. “I think she’s in to him.”

 

“She is _definitely_ in to him,” Maya agreed as she watched the interaction from afar.

 

“He should really just ask for her number.”

 

Maya jumped at the voice, but her lips turned into a smile when she looked over. “Smackle!”

 

“Hello,” she said formally. Still, Maya couldn’t help but notice that that one word was spoken less formally than before. “I haven’t seen you.”

 

“Now you have,” Maya smiled a little.

 

She observed Smackle from afar and was pleased to see that she truly didn’t seem upset over Farkle’s flirting. When she thought about it, she shouldn’t be surprised at all by that. They had broken up a long time ago. Just because she was still stuck in the past didn’t mean the rest of them were.

 

They fell into comfortable conversation, laughing when Zay showed up at 6:55 with only five minutes to stay and talk. It was still easy to be with these people. She didn’t know how being surrounded by childhood friends could make life so much easier so quickly. She didn’t get how seeing these five people made her feel whole for the first time since she’d gone away to college.

 

All she knew was she was drawing in color again, vibrant oranges and _purples,_ popping off the page. Not to mention that any piece of art she created suddenly looked a hell of a lot better.

 

She’d try to catch Riley’s eye throughout conversing with the group, but it seemed like her brown eyes were determined to steer clear from her. She was focusing on everything except for Maya. It was confusing, because Maya could have sworn they were getting along well before Lucas had interrupted them. She was certain that they were.

 

Leaving the shop at seven, she began her walk to work. It was only a few blocks away. Lucas and Zay stayed to chat longer since they’d both had no responsibilities to do so early, Farkle was in the corner of the café talking on his phone in his business voice and Smackle and Riley were waving, separating themselves from Maya to head to the subway.

 

Maya was in a haze all day, filled with distraction. It was a new job and she was great at it, that didn’t change, but in the back of her mind were those silly brown eyes. Maybe Maya had been reading too far into it. Maybe Riley was just being polite earlier, not outwardly nice.

 

Packing up her stuff at the end of the day, she loaded her briefcase, taking a couple files to look over at home that night. She was composing one final email when her phone vibrated on top of her desk.

 

She looked down at it, smiling that it was Riley’s name that floated on her screen. Since that morning the awkward texting had stopped and was replaced by _no_ texting, which was way worse. Considering she knew Riley got off work at four and it was now five thirty, Maya thought Riley had given up on wanting to be friends again. It wasn’t like she could blame her and Maya certainly didn’t want to beg or look desperate.

 

She unlocked the phone, then stared at the text, not sure what to reply.

 

_Riley: Sorry for ignoring you all day, but we need to talk._

 

Her staring wasn’t helping her with brainstorming groundbreaking replies, so, she did what she had done her whole life and replied by trying to lighten the mood.

 

_Maya: Very cryptic message... but I can talk any time when I’m not working._

The message almost came immediately.

 

_Riley: Are you working now?_

She read over the email she had previously been working on, added a few big words and commas, then sent it. She picked up her phone again, running her fingers over the screen.

 

_Maya: I’m leaving the office as we speak. Is it urgent?_

_Riley: Know of any bay windows around?_

She was assuming that meant urgent.

 

Maya hesitated. She only knew of one bay window they’d have privacy at, considering Topanga’s café and Riley’s bedroom and living room were out of the equation. Riley didn’t want her parents to know they were… whatever they were. Riley called them friends in the middle of the night, but since then they hadn’t spoken like friends, so it was hard for Maya to repeat that.

 

She sighed, deciding to go for it.

 

_Maya: My apartment has one._

 

Riley once again texted back immediately.

 

_Riley: Address?_

_Maya: I’m meeting you somewhere first if you’re coming over. You need an escort. I don’t trust you walking in my part of town alone, you’re a walking billboard of sunshine that’s asking to get robbed._

She could almost hear Riley’s persistence as she tried to claim she was older and wiser.

 

_Riley: You are aware I’m not as innocent and gullible as high school, right?_

_Maya: I’m sure you are so grown up now. But you haven’t proven that to me yet, so. Where should we meet?_

Riley texted her an address to a convenience market and Maya had to laugh. Out of all the places, she was waiting at a food market.

 

She slung the briefcase over her shoulder, holding the leather close to her body. She heard her heels clack against the hard floor and felt so grown up, yet her stomach had butterflies as if she was sixteen and in high school again.

 

It wasn’t a far walk from her office and Maya found herself wondering if Riley had planned that. She knew where Maya worked simply because it had come up, but Maya didn’t mention the location of her apartment – partially because she was embarrassed that it was in the shittiest part of New York City.

 

She saw Riley’s long brown hair before the brown eyes saw her. She took a deep breath, moving forward to the spot Riley was sitting on the bench.

 

“Ready?”

 

Riley looked up and Maya couldn’t place her expression. It was anxious, but it was so excited. Her brown eyes looked bigger and more vibrant as a smile came to her face.

 

“Bay window,” she said softly, almost as if she couldn’t believe she had the chance to say the words again. “Bay window right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is allllll Rilaya talking! 
> 
> Thanks for reading, pals.


	5. pt. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bay window talks about everything, especially Maya's juicy past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've apologized before, but here I am again -- sorry for the long ass chapter, guys, but I felt like splitting up this conversation would've been awkward and unnecessary :P

Maya opened the door to her apartment and felt oddly self conscious. She knew Riley wouldn’t judge her – hell, Riley was still living with her parents – but her apartment wasn’t exactly upscale.

 

On their walk over Riley had playfully clung onto Maya’s arm, taunting about how scared she was and how glad Maya was there to protect her with ‘all five feet’ of her. As much as Maya knew that if anyone else was that obnoxious to her for a twenty minute walk she’d punch them, Riley doing it made her smile. Things were different when it was Riley, they always had been. That girl could get away with so much more than anyone, purely because she was Riley Matthews and the rest of the world was not.

 

“This is the castle,” Maya waved her arms, motioning around the apartment.

 

She shut the door and Riley let out a loud laugh. “You have five locks on your door? I thought that was only in movies!”

 

“Yeah, my dad wouldn’t let me live here unless I promised to adhere by his safety precautions,” she shook her head at how ridiculous he was. Then, she realized Riley probably never heard Maya refer to him as dad. “Sorry, I meant Shawn.”

 

She went to the refrigerator, getting out a Tupperware filled with watermelon. She turned to offer Riley some and groaned at how she was practically bouncing on her feet.

 

“You call him Dad,” she got out in a squeak.

 

“Yeah,” Maya shrugged it off. “Let’s not make this into a big deal.”

 

“But-“

 

“I’m loaning you my bay window,” she reminded her. “You owe me, so don’t make it into this big deal, okay?”

 

“Right, the bay window!” she exclaimed, getting back on track. “C’mon, Peaches.”

 

She smiled at Riley a little, her blue eyes radiant. She let out a small laugh. “Say it again, honey.”

 

“Bay window,” she recited, knowing exactly what Maya was talking about. “Bay window right now.”

 

It was a small apartment. It had a tiny living room, a tiny kitchen, and a tiny bedroom that was accompanied with a tiny bathroom. But the selling point when she agreed to rent it was that damn bay window. And also the fact that she didn’t have a lease and she could upgrade to a better place as soon as she saved enough money and get out of the sketchy neighborhood, but it was mostly the bay window part.

 

Riley moved to sit in the nook, just crossing her legs and smiling at Maya. The blonde left her watermelon on the counter, moving to squeeze in next to Riley. It might be a small bay window, but it was a bay window nonetheless.

 

“Bay window right now,” Maya whispered after a few seconds of silence.

 

Riley’s brown eyes squeezed together a little as she let out a laugh. She stared at Maya for a little bit, which made the blonde entirely uncomfortable as she felt like her soul was being ripped out and examined in depth for the first time in forever. It really did feel like forever.

 

“I don’t know how to act around you,” Riley finally began the deep topic that was bay window worthy. “When we’re alone, things are so easy with you. They’re simple and you make me laugh so easily. But when other people around I get so different.”

 

Maya pursed her lips, just nodding a little. “I can’t say I haven’t noticed.”

 

“I don’t mean to ignore you, Peaches, I don’t,” she promised. “I just don’t know how to act like your friend without the others realizing how much you effected me back then.”

 

 _They already know_.

 

Maya wasn’t sure if she should point that out. She knew they hadn’t told Riley what they thought they knew. She just didn’t know if it would hurt Riley to know that.

 

“What?” Riley asked quietly, her face filling with worry. “What’s wrong, Peaches? I’m sorry if I upset you, I just get insecure about the whole sexuality thing, it’s not you, I promise.”

 

She was surprised by Riley’s reaction and realized she must have read the expression wrong. Maya couldn’t blame her, it had been awhile since they had to decipher what the other was feeling by the distance between furrowed eyebrows and the degree of their lips when they smiled. Besides, she felt like she was completely failing at reading Riley correctly too.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” she smiled. “I understand.”

 

“If you understand, why do you seem uneasy about something?” she pouted, her arms crossed, looking at Maya, expectant for an answer.

 

Maya stared back with a small smile. “I think you’re reading too far into it.”

 

“Maya, just tell me. I can take it. I’m not fragile and I want to know.”

 

Blue eyes searched brown. She tried to measure how much Riley meant that. It seemed like she was constantly trying to bury the fact that she once was in love with a girl, but Maya also thought she deserved to know that the others weren’t as clueless as they appeared. She was friends with Farkle, Lucas, and Zay, but Riley came first. Right? Riley had always come first before and it felt wrong keeping it from her.

 

“The others know about it all, Riles,” she whispered, still staring and searching to make sure the girl next to her was okay.

 

She wasn’t the Maya Riley had met on the dock. She wasn’t doing everything she could to avoid Riley’s gaze anymore, she wasn’t shying away from the fact that Riley was once her best friend. Instead, she was embracing it. The second Riley had walked through her apartment door two weeks ago, entering to Maya sitting on her living room couch, the second Maya had seen her again, she felt like she had to protect her and hoped no one had hurt her while she failed to do so.

 

“I know they know your side, but they don’t know mine,” Riley informed her of what she thought was the truth.

 

Maya shook her head, looking wary. “They know about yours.”

 

Suddenly, an anger like she’d never seen before flashed through Riley’s eyes. Her jaw clenched, her lips pressed tightly together, her brown eyes became squinty. Her voice was no longer soft, now being filled with a piercing edge. “You _told_ them?”

 

“No,” she instantly got out. “They told me how they thought you felt, but I denied it all, Riley, I would never tell them, I swear on…” she trailed off, thinking about what Riley knew was important to her. “I swear on ring power, okay?”

 

That made her freeze for a moment, but then she smiled. “You remember ring power?”

 

“It was too dumb for me not to remember,” Maya grinned.

 

Riley thought about it, then laughed. “It was pretty dumb.”

 

“In our defense we were young.”

 

Riley was no longer smiling the way she had a minute ago, instead she looked worried. “Tell me what they know.”

 

Maya's words came out slowly and calculated. She thought hard before she spoke each one, trying to figure out how to explain it to her as gently as she could. “We went out for pizza and Zay brought you up.”

 

“Wait, who did you go with? Why wasn’t I invited?”

 

“That’s how you came up,” Maya recalled. “They said Smackle was upset she wasn’t invited, so I asked why they hadn’t invited her and they said because they weren’t sure if I’d want to see you. I said we weren’t fighting and they told me this big elaborate story about you.”

 

“What did they say?” she asked quietly.

 

Maya explained it to her, start to finish. She told Riley about how they’d told her everything that led up to the dock, which led to Riley urgently starting to defend her 'pathetic' behavior. Maya dismissed it, assuring her she never thought of it as pathetic. Then, she told her how she’d denied it all the accusations of Riley loving her until they finally dropped the matter.

 

“You lied to them?” Riley questioned at the end. She seemed surprised and amazed by that, but Maya wasn’t sure if it was in a good way.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t know if you’d want them to know. I didn’t want to confirm anything, so I figured it was better safe than sorry.”

 

“But you knew how I felt.”

 

“I did,” Maya nodded.

 

“And I told you I wasn’t straight.”

 

“But you never came out to them,” she pointed out the disappointing fact that’d been searing through her mind. “I figured since you hadn’t yet you didn’t want them to know about it. I didn’t feel right telling them. If you wanted to tell them, sorry, I’ll be honest next time? I mean, should I be? Do you want them to know?”

 

“I don’t,” she sighed, taking it all in before turning to Maya with her straight posture and goofy grin. “Thank you. I know it must have been hard not to tell them anything.”

 

“I got your back,” she shrugged as if it was no big deal, but she noticed how Riley’s eyes lit up at that small, casual comment.

 

Riley was quiet, but this time, Maya just waited her out. Sure enough, her voice croaked through the silence eventually. “Have you ever told anyone? About me?”

 

“No,” she replied, one simple word with so much meaning.

 

“Why not?”

 

Maya sighed, shaking her head and closing her eyes for a moment. She was annoyed that Riley had the audacity to ask that, but she also wasn’t so sure Riley even realized what she was forcing Maya to remember. “Because it hurt too much to recall what happened in high school.”

 

“I’m sorry, you know?” she whispered the exact same words she did at the dock. Maya wondered if Riley even remembered speaking those words so tenderly. “Maya?”

 

“Let’s not talk about.”

 

She still felt strongly about it. The past two years were her fault. She knew that. The reasons that her and Riley hadn’t been friends the past two years were completely due to her being bitter and refusing to listen. She didn’t want to be that bitter person anymore and she certainly didn’t want to start a fight.

 

Yet, in the back of her mind, she still raged at the fact that the four years before that infamous dock meeting, Riley had been shitty. Maya had made a lot of excuses for her actions, trying to rationalize how Riley had completely cut her off and rubbed in that she was oh, so happy without her. Hell, if the other four tried to talk about how insensitive Riley had been – which they used to on occasion – she’d tell them to shut up about it and defend her best friend. She didn’t want to be angry about it, so she decided to pretend she didn’t remember it.

 

“You can allow yourself to be mad at me,” Riley murmured.

 

Maya just plastered on a smile. “I’m not mad, Riles. I just don’t want to dwell in the past with you.”

 

“Okay.”

 

The blonde looked at her, tilting her head a bit. “You can allow _yourself_ to be mad at me too, you know?”

 

“I’m not mad either.”

 

Maya wondered if Riley was lying, because, while she didn’t want to admit it, a part of her wasn’t being fully truthful.

 

“So, after Lucas did you have any serious relationships?”

 

Changing the subject seemed like the right way to go. Riley must have thought the same.

 

“Well, I had my third second date with Zach the other night,” she laughed. “But, I wouldn’t call the two of us serious. He mainly just likes… you know, fooling around.”

 

She watched Riley’s cheeks turn red and knew that she regretted informing Maya of their _real_ relationship status. It was clear to them both that she didn’t love whoever this _Zach_ fella was, which made the subject light and easier to talk about. Unlike her relationship with Lucas, which the details had still been unspoken of.

 

“You fool around with guys now, do you?”

 

“No,” she shook her head furiously.

 

“Does Mr. Matthews know?”

 

Riley couldn’t stop smiling and her cheeks just got redder. _“Maya_ ,” she got out between laughs. “You need to stop.”

 

“I just didn’t think you had it in you to have sex without getting completely lovey dovey and emotionally attached,” she mused.

 

The brunette crossed her arms, looking at Maya with a dare for her to lie. “So, you’re telling me that you’ve never hooked up with someone before?”

 

“ _I_ have,” Maya quickly corrected her. “I’m not surprised by that, I’ve always been less of a romantic than you. I can’t believe _you_ have – or do.”

 

“Trust me, if you heard him talk you’d want to have sex too. Not because what he says is charming, but rather because when he’s having sex he isn’t droning on about his little I.T. world, full of coding and algorithms,” she rolled her eyes. “If I wasn’t so lonely I wouldn’t hook up with him, but I gotta take what I can get and he’s not too bad in bed.”

 

"That's probably not the best reason to stay with a guy."

 

"You've loved everyone you've had sex with?" Riley challenged. 

 

“Touche, Matthews,” Maya retorted. She couldn’t help but point it out. "This is a very grown up topic for us."

 

"It is!" Riley turned to her, looking at her quizzically. “And you? Who did _you_ hook up with? All I ever saw on Facebook was that Kendal girl and even those were sporadic updates and always from her account.”

 

“I stopped hooking up with people after my first half of college,” she tried to laugh it off, hoping that Riley wouldn’t fit the pieces together that she stopped when sophomore year ended. When she’d seen her. “I liked the no strings attached part, but it was tearing me away from my schoolwork.”

 

“Your _schoolwork_?” she almost screeched. “Maya, you never study!”

 

“Well, I was too wild the first half and had to buckle down,” she continued to laugh to herself at the memory. “Trust me, you’d stop being rebellious too if you were me. I almost got into trouble to the point of being kicked out my sophomore year.”

 

Her jaw dropped and she tilted her head. “Riley Matthews is intrigued,” she spoke of herself in third person. “Tell me more!”

 

“It was nothing, I just was a little too focused on going against societal norms at the time,” she pushed it away.

 

Riley was still Riley, though. She shook her head, holding up a hand as if to stop the conversation from switching subjects. “What did you do that almost got you kicked out of _college_? I mean, high school is strict, but college? Did you plagiarize?”

 

“Wow, you are innocent if plagiarism is the first thing that comes to mind.”

 

“You making witty remarks is not going to get me to quit pursuing this story. As I said, I’m _intrigued.”_

_“_ Okay, this does not leave this room if I tell you,” she warned.

 

She hadn’t told anyone about this ever. Not her college friends, not her old high school friends, she was pretty sure she hadn’t even told Kendal. Her parents knew, but that was because it was hard to hide the possibility of getting kicked out from the people funding her education. Other than that, she had kept quiet about it, shoved it under the rug and never spoke about how close she was to having to transfer universities. Yet something about Riley was so inviting to divulge secrets in. She still wanted Riley to know everything about her - the good and the bad.

 

“I promise,” she smiled eagerly.

 

“I had a string of one night stands with my abnormal psych professor my sophomore year,” Maya tried to shrug it off. She was usually quite proud of that when she thought back on it, but saying it to Riley almost made her feel embarrassed.

 

“Wait – _what_?” Riley asked, her innocent little jaw dropped in pure shock. “While he was your teacher?”

 

“She,” Maya corrected. “But, yes. I went all out on my college experience the first two years. I was determined to live on the edge.”

 

“Sorry, right. I forgot. But anyway, yes, apparently you were,” Riley stuttered out. “How did that even happen?”

 

Maya smirked a little, that mischievous look appearing back in her eyes. “You’d be surprised how charming I am when I want to be.”

 

“I remember you getting us out of plenty of sticky situations,” the dark haired girl quickly recalled. “I must admit, for someone who thinks she’s bad with people, you have _plenty_ of charm.”

 

“It was a wild ride,” she laughed along.

 

Riley leaned back against the frame of the bay window. “So, tell me, how long was this string of one night stands?”

 

“Three weeks into the second semester of my sophomore year until about April. Then some idiot found out and complained and there was a whole investigation done, she almost got fired… It was bad. They had no real proof, so nothing happened, but it was a close enough call to say maybe I should be a little more reserved my junior year.

 

“Did you at least get an A in her class?” Riley smirked.

 

Maya shook her head. “You would think I would! It was a psych class, so it was literally part of my major, but since we were having sex she felt I should know more about topics than the others, purely because we spent time together out of the classroom. We rarely talked about psychology when we were together, though, so it was completely unfair, if you ask me.”

 

“You slept with the teacher and still didn’t get an A? You must be terrible in bed.”

 

Riley’s boldness took Maya for surprise, even if it was a joke.

 

“Excuse me,” she recovered. “I am _great_ , I will have you know.”

 

They both laughed, neither wanting to talk about their sexual endeavors further than that. Not too each other at least, not yet.

 

“So, there’s Kendal and the slutty professor. Any other girls in your life I should know about?”

 

Maya thought about it. She wasn’t sure if she should tell Riley since she hadn’t even thought about telling the others yet, but with Riley she found herself wanting to share. She usually wanted to protect Brooke, but Riley looked at her with those eyes full of curiosity. For the past four years she’d wanted to tell Riley about her. She decided that she didn’t need to protect anyone from Riley. Riley wouldn’t hurt a fly.

 

“There is one girl,” she nodded. “Her name is Brooke.”

 

Riley’s face fell at that, which surprised Maya. “Oh,” she looked down sadly. “Yeah, I, uh, saw that a Brooke texted you when your phone was on the table at the coffee shop. I thought she was a friend, though.”

 

“It’s not like that.”

 

“It’s fine,” Riley assured her confidently, bringing back a smile. She didn’t offer anymore jokes and teasing, though.

 

“Riley,” Maya laughed. “Brooke isn’t a girlfriend. She’s complicated to explain, but she’s really important to me. She reminds me of you and me, all at the same time.”

 

“How?” Riley gawked. “We are _very_ different from each other, Peaches.”

 

“She’s wild like me,” she explained. Riley watched as Maya’s face lit up at the thought. It sure _looked_ like Maya loved this girl she claimed wasn’t her girlfriend. The only other time Maya’s face lit up like that was with Riley. “She’s always getting into sticky situations and I’m having to attempt to be you and bail her out as I show her the right path of life.”

 

Riley snorted at that, finding it highly amusing. “Yeah, good luck. You don’t even know the right path most of the time.”

 

“I do!” Maya protested.

 

“Okay, sure,” she winked. Then, she got extra perky again. “How does she remind you of me?”

 

“She views the world as sunshine and rainbows, just like you,” the blonde hummed. “I got into trouble as a kid because I was kind of dark sometimes. She always gets into trouble because she’s naïve and believes everything. She takes the world at face value. Remind you of anyone?”

 

Maya watched as Riley broke into a smile, nodding her head proudly. Her smile began to falter quickly, though. “So, you did replace me?”

 

“I could never do that, Riles,” she promised. She took a deep breath. “She’s thirteen.”

 

Riley’s face scrunched up, clearly thrown for a loop at that added tidbit of information. Then, her expression lit up too, matching Maya’s. “Is she your sister? Do you have a sister!?”

 

“No, no, nothing like that,” Maya waved her hand to wave away the idea. “She’s _like_ a sister, I guess. She’s thirteen and used to just hang around my dad a lot. He began working at a studio a few years ago and that’s where he met Brooke. She’d was this nine year old that would stand and look into the studio while they all took photos and one day my dad invited her to take a look around. They hit it off, go figure. He brought her home for dinner the summer before I went away to college and my mom was so mad that he’d brought some random little girl home for a family dinner, and even madder that he’d never even mentioned her name before. She thought the cops would show up for kidnapping or something. But everyone loves Brooke now. We didn’t notice it until a few weeks later, but she’d wormed her way into the family by the end of the night.”

 

“Shawn Hunter and his big heart,” Riley gushed.

 

Maya nodded along. She knew firsthand how big his heart was. “She’s been thrown around from foster home to foster home. Honestly, I have no idea how she’s still so annoyingly optimistic because she has a lot of shitty stories. I mean, she’s not my sister, and she can get on my last nerve, but I don’t know. She’s been living with my parents for a few years now. They went through a thorough process and eventually got a licensed through DCFS to foster her, so I guess she is my foster sister, at least. They’ve been taking care of her for three years or so now. Obviously, I don’t live there so I don’t see her as much as you and Auggie see each other, but… she’s really great. It’ll be sad when she eventually leaves to go to another foster home or gets adopted or something. Three years is a long time to have been in one foster home, so... It's bound to happen soon, I'd guess.”

 

Riley took a long look at Maya’s expression as the blonde tried to busy herself into her phone. She smiled at how nervous Maya was. She tried to hide it, but it was the same mannerisms she had when Shawn walked into hers and Katy’s life.

 

“Hope isn’t for suckers, Maya,” she chanted.

 

Maya didn’t look up from the phone, trying to busy herself. She knew Riley knew her better than anyone and showing hope was pathetic. Riley was wrong. Hope was definitely for suckers.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“She might be your real sister one day,” Riley pressed. “You never know. When you think about it, that _is_ a long time to stay in one place in the foster system. It’s okay to hope that she’ll stick around.”

 

“I’m fine with our relationship as it is,” Maya said casually.

 

Riley tilted her head, not that Maya could see that. “Why don’t you talk to your parents about it? Maybe they’ll adopt her, you never know.”

 

“I can’t do that.”

 

Riley frowned at the quick, automatic, confident, spitfire response. “Why not?”

 

“My dad’s done a lot for me already,” she shrugged. Riley hadn’t seen her avoid eye contact this much since they were twenty years old and at a dock. “He’s taken care of my mom, he’s adopted me, hell, he’s even supported me through college - as a kid I never thought I'd even _go_ to college because my mom didn't have money… I have no right to ask for anything more.”

 

“But-“

 

“Riley, don’t push this, okay?” Maya’s voice came out strained. She thought about this topic a lot and couldn’t spend more time fantasizing about something that may never happen.

 

Realistically, her days with Brooke being at her house when she came home would disappear. Her and Brooke would probably fade apart when that happened, she’d probably find another life without Maya, a new foster sister that was nicer and prettier. She didn’t want to think about that. The past three years, Brooke had been the only person in the world who touched Maya’s heart as deeply as Riley could. She knew how much it hurt to lose Riley, so she didn’t want to think about that.

 

“ _Fine_ ,” she groaned. “Can I at least see a picture of her?”

 

“That I can do,” Maya perked up again, exiting the app for Facebook and clicking the Photos app.

 

She went to her albums, clicking on the one with Brooke’s name. When she handed the phone to Riley she didn’t look at the screen, first just smiling at Maya.

 

“You still create albums for people,” she noted. “You used to always do that.”

 

“It’s called organizing your pictures,” Maya shrugged.

 

Riley nodded, looking down and scrolling through the photos, one by one. Maya held her breath as she watched Riley look through them. She'd laughed at a few of them that had Maya in it. Maya will admit that she had made herself look like a fool in some of them, trying to get Brooke to smile – especially the older ones where Brooke didn’t know what to think of Maya yet.

 

She paused when she reached a picture of all of them, Maya, Shawn, Katy and Brooke. They were standing with a city skyline behind them. Maya fidgeted when she noticed Riley looking at so thoroughly.

 

“That was Chicago,” Maya explained. “My dad had a conference there last summer and we all went with him. It was the first family vacation I’d had in my life. I think it was Brooke’s first vacation with anyone, ever.”

 

“That’s amazing,” Riley murmured, looking back up at Maya and handing the phone back. “Don’t convince yourself that she’s going to leave you.”

 

“I’m not,” she tried, and failed, to laugh that idea off.

 

Riley raised her eyebrows, but shook her head a little. “I mean it. Just… I’ll hope enough for the both of us. Okay?”

 

“You always have, haven’t you?” Maya asked, a spark in her eye at how amazing it was that one person could hold so much hope and faith in the world.

 

They fell into a silence again, Maya thinking about Brooke and Riley thinking about Maya. Maya found herself wondering how Brooke would react to Riley. She knew that they’d like each other, she wasn’t worried about that, but she wondered what they’d talk about. She couldn’t help herself from remembering Riley at thirteen and pondered exactly how much she had changed. It’d been almost a decade since then.

 

She sighed, looking beside her. Riley was looking right back.

 

“I guess I can act normal,” Riley announced. Maya knew she was referring to how she’d been in the group dynamic. It was weird how she still knew what Riley’s random statements referred to. “But, if I start babbling or saying something stupid that I’d say only to you, shut me up if the others are around. You’re like my watcher.”

 

It was a stupid title, but Maya was happy to be her watcher. She liked knowing she had a role in Riley’s life again.

 

“Have I let you down before, Riles?”

 

Riley just met her eyes. There was anger Riley was hiding, but it faded away as quickly as it came. “Never, Peaches.”

 

Except she had. Two years ago, even though Riley never said what she wanted to say, they both knew she unknowingly had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when I promise all Rilaya chapters, I don't kid around. All Rilaya! 
> 
> but anyway, thank you for reading, I appreciate it :)


	6. pt. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya gets drunk and Riley brings her home.

_This is weird_.

 

That’s all Maya could think as they huddled around a booth at a bar, all six of them squeezing in. Farkle was drinking beer and Zay was downing shots _legally_. This entire picture was so weird to her.

 

“Maya, it’s not a big deal! We’re all adults,” Lucas kept laughing at her bewilderment.

 

“Huckleberry, you just showed them your ID and are drinking liquor. Real. Hard. Liquor.”

 

“No one calls it liquor anymore,” Zay snorted.

 

“And why does it not surprise me that Riley Matthews is drinking her third Diet Coke?” Maya smirked. “Alcohol not sit well with you, Honey?”

 

“I get too chatty for my liking,” Riley rolled her eyes.

 

Farkle pulled his beer away from his lips. “She used to drink with us all the time, then she suddenly stopped. She claims she was worried she was becoming an alcoholic.”

 

Riley blushed as Maya bursted out laughing. She was on her third drink as well, but hers had quite the high alcohol content, so everything that was even a little bit funny seemed a lot funnier.

 

“It is a very serious condition, you guys!” Riley began scolding them. “It’s not something to laugh at!”

 

“We aren’t laughing at the condition, we’re laughing at you,” Maya clarified for her.

 

The other four agreed with her. Smackle was nearing the end of her first drink, poking the thin straw around her frozen margarita while Maya ordered another drink for herself.

 

“You need to stop,” Zay looked at Maya.

 

Maya rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a party pooper. Trust me, I drink all the time and rarely get drunk.”

 

That was a lie. She hadn’t drank this much in a long time and the look Riley shot her was enough to confirm that the tall brown haired girl remembered what a lightweight Maya was – much to her dismay.

 

If Maya had stayed a part of their group, she imagined that the other four would have stood their ground, but since she had only reentered their life three weeks ago they let it slide. Maya felt loose and free by the end.

 

Smackle had left early. Her fidgeting suggested that the atmosphere of crowded bars made her uncomfortable, and Lucas decided to walk home with her, saying he had work. He was a vet tech, going to school to complete his veterinarian license, which left him working Saturdays. He worked at some animal clinic in the suburbs and had a long commute, so he’d definitely gotten the short end of the stick. How him and Smackle became roommates was still confusing to Maya. How they succeeded at being roommates was even more confusing.

 

“So, Maya and Riley,” Zay leaned back in the booth, looking at the two girls who were sharing the same side of the booth again. “It’s good to see you two as friends.”

 

“Was Riley sad without me?”

 

“Oh, please, you were just as sad without me,” Riley answered before Farkle or Zay could.

 

Maya smirked, making eye contact. She didn’t need to say anything to confirm that that was true.

 

“You have to be beyond drunk right now,” Farkle studied the blonde.

 

If there was one hidden talent Maya had acquired over the years, it was looking more sober than she actually was.

 

“Don’t be jealous just because you can only handle a couple beers,” she teased. “They have what? 4% alcohol?”

 

She felt Riley’s stare and knew she wasn’t being nearly as successful at fooling her as she was the two boys beside her.

 

Zay muttered a response, shaking his head in amusement. He was the next to leave, which left the original three at the table.

 

“I must say, I’m surprised at how close you two became again,” Farkle grinned. “I’m happy to see it, too. You guys were idiots.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard,” Maya waved him away.

 

“It’s amazing that you guys can be so open with each other, even after all this time,” he told them honestly. “I thought after you’d talk about everything that happened it’d tear you apart for a while. Not forever, obviously, but a while.”

 

The two girls looked at each other, both of them nervous at that. They still hadn’t talked about what happened before. Or, at least not what happened pertaining to them. They told funny college stories, reminisced on middle school days, but not anything about high school or that meeting at the dock.

 

“Then again,” Farkle continued with a laugh, “you’re Riley and Maya. You're unstoppable.”

 

“I’m Maya,” the blonde said goofily. Yeah, she was definitely drunk.

 

Riley just laughed along, once again propping her arms up on the table. “No, you’re drunk.”

 

Farkle and Riley simply smiled a little at that, but Maya started cackling with laughter at the mediocre joke.

 

“I’m taking you home, Peaches,” Riley spoke up, nudging the side of Maya to get her to slide out of the booth.

 

Suddenly, Farkle seemed alarmed as Maya stood up. “I can do that!”

 

“It’s fine, I can do it,” Riley smiled gently at him. “I’m a big girl.”

 

“She’s drunk,” Farkle pointed out. “I just don’t want something to happen that you’ll regret because you’re taking care of her when she’s wasted and vulnerable.”

 

“She wouldn’t take advantage of me,” Maya vouched for her, having full confidence. Besides, she was drunk, not blacked out. “Just let her do it. Besides, you don’t know where I live.”

 

That sparked his attention.

 

His eyes went wide. “And _she_ does?”

 

“My dad wanted to show her dad my apartment and Riley tagged along,” she brushed it off.

 

Seeing Riley’s body relax assured her that she’d done the right thing by, once again, lying. She was lucky she was drunk, because she always lied better when she was filled to the brim with vodka.

 

“We’ll be fine, Farkle,” Riley promised. “I’ll take good care of our little Maya.”

 

He stared at them both, but at the end of the day he didn’t have a reason to stop Riley from taking her home. He paid his tab, walking out with the two of them back into the June air. It had gotten windier this week, but it was still warm considering it’d be July in a few days.

 

“Are you going to watch the fireworks with us next week?”

 

Farkle’s question made Riley turn as well.

 

“If you all aren’t sick of me yet, sure.”

 

“We still have years to catch you up on,” Riley grinned. “C’mon, let’s get you home. We can all work out the details tomorrow.”

 

“I’ll send something out in the group chat,” Farkle told them, parting ways.

 

They were halfway to Maya’s apartment before either of them talked. Maya stumbled every now and then, which eventually caused Riley to let out that melodic laugh.

 

“You know, for how many drinks you somehow downed I’m shocked you’re able to walk. Even if you would fail the straight line test right now.”

 

“I stopped having sex with teachers, so I had time to concentrate solely on building up my alcohol stamina,” Maya laughed, throwing her head back at how funny she thought she was.

 

“I should’ve worked on that more too,” Riley mumbled under her breath. If she was sober, Maya might have asked about it.

 

When they reached the apartment, Riley dug the keys out of Maya’s purse, which she had grabbed somewhere along the walk when Maya had began swinging the bag around, amazed by the concepts of physics as it swung high in the air from side to side. She unlocked the door, guiding Maya in.

 

It felt odd to them both for Riley to be bringing Maya home to her own apartment. The only other times she’d seen Maya past the point of being a little tipsy was once after prom, then again after graduation, both times being with the others.

 

After prom, they had went back to Riley’s while Zay hid the alcohol he’d managed to sneak from his house. That time, Maya figured she wasn’t nearly as fun. She was so far from sober that she didn’t remember any of it the next day, only feeling the pounding headache. She'd probably passed out pretty quick into the night.

 

Mr. Matthews had eyed all of them carefully the next morning. They weren’t exactly the sneakiest about hiding the throbbing in their heads. Amy, the girl Maya had gone to prom with, just chatted with Riley’s dad about everything that morning, making small talk and being a suck up as if Cory was _Maya’s_ dad. Maya remembered she wanted to kick her out at that point and judging from her friend’s faces, they did too.

 

Graduation she was careful not to drink as much, but she was still undeniably drunk. Smackle and Farkle weren’t there, which left Riley as the designated one to take care of Maya and get her in bed. Lucas and Zay insisted that they didn’t know how to take care of a drunk girl. Riley quickly pointed out that she didn’t either, despite taking care of Maya quite well two weeks before at prom, but since Riley was a girl the boys insisted she must know how to care for Maya better. High school logic was stupid and sexist.

 

“C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up,” Riley laughed as Maya danced around the apartment. “I see you aren’t the passed out drunk type.”

 

“The night is young, Riley!” she smiled, spinning around the room with her arms stretched wide as if they were somewhere that exhibited freedom and youth and liveliness. “There’s no time to pass out on nights like tonight.”

 

Maya plopped down on the couch and watched Riley go into her bathroom. She didn’t shut the door, shuffling around under the cabinet instead. “Are you looking for tampons?”

 

“No, Maya, I am not!” she smiled, shaking her head at the first idea that had come to Maya's mind. Tampons.

 

Half a minute later, Riley came back out with a package of make up remover wipes. She sat on her knees besides Maya, taking one out of the pack and moving towards her face.

 

“You think of everything, Riley Matthews,” Maya laughed to herself as if it was a comforting joke while Riley began stroking her cheek with the wipe.

 

Riley smirked at that. “The last time I took care of you when you were drunk you yelled at me the next day for not removing your make up because you had the _teeniest_ zit,” she recalled. “You were a drama queen.”

 

“I was just pissed at you, actually,” Maya rolled her eyes. “You don’t need to do this tonight. I have the temper to deal with a few zits now.”

 

“Well, one eye is off already, so we may as well keep going,” she said, patiently rubbing away the eye make up.

 

Maya couldn’t help but notice that when she spoke she still sounded happy. Ever since they were kids, Riley spoke with a tone that made words sound simple and happy and beautiful. She was so glad that that hadn’t gone away.

 

“I guess I am still a little resentful about high school,” Maya found herself admitting.

 

Riley just shook her head. She was slowly becoming ready to talk about what happened herself, but they couldn’t do it now, not like this. “You’re too drunk to talk about this, Peaches.”

 

She started giggling again and Riley reached a hand out to her chin in order to hold her head still while she wiped off the excess make up.

 

“You know, for someone who has a perfect complexion you sure do wear a lot of foundation.”

 

“Sounds like you’re looking for a reason to criticize me,” Maya teased.

 

Riley just shook her head, pulling the short girl up to her feet. She dragged her into the bedroom and analyzed what she was wearing. Maya watched her with amusement as Riley shrugged and instructed her to lay down.

 

“You’ll take off my make up, but you won’t get me into comfier clothes?”

 

Maya thought she’d seem embarrassed at being called out, but Riley was as confident as ever. “Peaches, I’m not undressing you tonight.”

 

“Why? Would you get all flustered?”

 

“You are not drunk enough to feign that you don’t realize how absolutely inappropriate this conversation is,” Riley grumbled. “Goodnight, Maya.”

 

As Riley stood from the bed, Maya sat up again. She put on her best begging face, smiling sweetly at Riley. “You aren’t going to stay with me? What if I die from alcohol poisoning?”

 

“I’ll be on the couch.”

 

“I’m not going to seduce you, Riles,” Maya groaned. “Don’t treat me differently just because you’ve never shared a bed with the gay version of Maya. I’m not that sex crazy.”

 

“Well, you did sleep with a teacher, so you must be kind of sex crazy,” she smirked, but there was a lightness in her eyes.

 

Maya scooted over on her queen sized bed. “At least it’s not a twin mattress anymore. Let’s go, I’m not taking no for an answer.”

 

It was clear that Riley was unsure of this. She looked around, taking in Maya’s room for the first time. Maya found herself holding her breath as Riley took everything in. She let it out again when Riley looked back at her. It was clear she was somewhat nervous about it, but she nodded her head and came to lay next to her.

 

“Fine,” Riley agreed. Then, her smile turned into one with mystery surrounding it. “But I have shared a bed with the ‘gay version of Maya’, as you so eloquently call yourself.”

 

“What?” Maya’s eyes filled with curiosity. Her voice suddenly sounded more like a question. “No you haven’t?”  

 

“Oh, Maya,” she giggled with amusement. She forgot how Riley giggled sometimes. It was quirky and innocent and Rileyish. “You definitely have.”

 

Maya was too tired to follow through with questions about that claim. She found herself falling asleep the second Riley hit the mattress due to complete bliss. She was sharing a bed with Riley Matthews sleeping soundly beside her.

 

Maybe time really could heal the wound that she thought was too deep for anyone to mend shut.

 

Then again, maybe it was just the girl filled with sunshine and rainbows beside her that was stitching it shut.

 

It didn’t really matter anymore. It was healing over either way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welll, thanks for continuing to read this!


	7. pt. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley makes pancakes, Maya doesn't want to eat them and lots of banter.

Maya sauntered into her kitchen the next morning to grab Advil and water. She desperately needed it. She hadn’t felt her head pound this much in years and she wasn't liking the feeling.

 

She stepped out of her bedroom and a smile instantly lit up her face at the sight of a back turned to her with long dark hair running down it.

 

“I thought you snuck out.”

 

“I considered it,” Riley admitted. “But then I figured that could ruin the already fragile friendship we’re maintaining.”

 

“I wouldn’t call us fragile.”

 

Riley stared at her, then turned around before she spoke. “Maybe not, but there’s a lot we haven’t discussed.”

 

“Do we need to?” Maya challenged her, going to the cabinet with the Advil and grabbing a couple pills.

 

“Eventually we should,” she heard the voice next to her say softly.

 

Maya opened her mouth, but Riley was quick to shut the topic down again.

 

“But not today.”

 

Maya nodded, accepting that. She didn’t want to talk about it today either.

 

“Well, thanks for taking care of me last night,” Maya mumbled.

 

Last night she was having the time of her life, but today it was kind of embarrassing to think how childish she’d acted the night before. She vaguely remembered spinning around in her living room, looking at the light as if it was the sun shining on a field with daisies in it, and thinking the world was a magical place.

 

“I had fun,” Riley shrugged. She turned around to face Maya for the first time that morning, serving her a pancake. “Eat up.”

 

Maya eyed the breakfast food as if she wasn’t sure if she should even go near it.

 

“Is something wrong with my pancake?” Riley picked up on her weird behavior, instantly on alert.

 

“No,” she quickly moved to sit down.

 

The truth was, she had rarely eaten breakfast after everything happened with Riley. She tried eating it alone in the mornings, at her house instead of Riley’s, but it made her sad so she began the days of waiting to eat until it was time for lunch. By the time she tried to break the habit and begin to enjoy a life with waffles and bagels and _pancakes_ again, it brought back too many painful memories. So, it was just another quirky thing that all her girlfriend’s had to deal with. Maya Hunter refused to eat breakfast. She didn’t get into why, she never did, she just wouldn’t eat it.

 

Riley watched her carefully, then furrowed her eyebrows again. “You’re sitting at the table, that’s great, but you still look terrified of my pancake.”

 

“So, Riley Matthews,” she began, deciding now was a fabulous time to change the subject off of her methods of how she avoided the thought of Riley throughout the years. “I’m still quite confused, so, _please,_ fill me in here. When the _hell_ did we share a bed together that I can’t seem to remember?”

 

“You seriously don’t remember?” Riley laughed a little. “I thought that was just the alcohol talking last night. You don’t remember at all?”

 

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, but this time annoyance was seeping through.

 

Riley turned to her, her eyes once again searching Maya’s for something. “Prom night?”

 

Maya thought back and slowly nodded her head, remembering it slightly. “I know _I_ woke up in your bed. You were on the floor of your living room. You said I’d insisted I had to sleep alone in your bed because I kept saying that I deserved better than a floor. I just remember I was super hungover that morning with no clue what happened the night before.”

 

“I thought you were faking that you blacked out,” Riley’s eyes were looking at her, seemingly shocked. “You really don’t remember prom night?”

 

The blonde haired girl suddenly felt like she had missed out on something great. To this date, prom night was the only time she’d gotten so drunk she had blacked out and now she was regretting that even more than she had when she’d woken up the morning after prom. She wanted to remember what happened, she wanted to join Riley on reminiscing, she wanted to know how - and _why_ - the hell they shared a bed.

 

“I only remember drinking a lot in your living room with everyone else until they passed out and I kept taking shots while you watched me laughing - and told me to stop eighty times.”

 

“Oh,” Riley pronounced. “Okay.”

 

Maya waited expectantly before throwing her hands up when Riley turned back to cooking another pancake. “Are you gonna tell me what happened?”

 

“It’s a long story.”

 

“It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday, we have all day. In fact, we have two whole days for the story,” Maya pointed out.

 

She found herself needing to hear this. What happened on prom night? She thought she’d voyaged to Riley’s bed while the rest of them slept. That’s what Riley had told her over four years ago and everyone else had confirmed that Maya was the only one missing from the living room when they’d woken up.

 

“What happened?” she pressed.

 

“Everyone else fell asleep and we were the only ones up. We got drunk enough to sit in the bay window together, we talked, we drank, then we had sex.”

 

She almost choked to death on her fucking pancake, but stopped when she heard that familiar laugh. _Riley was kidding._

 

“I’m joking. We talked at the bay window, we ended up on my bed and we slept side by side. You did kiss me, though. Well, we actually made out, but I didn’t fully take advantage of you or anything. I’m not that person.”

 

“I know you aren’t,” Maya found herself promising, her head racing with this new information.

 

She had made out with Riley? Out of all the things she wished she remembered, concepts in school, strategies at trivia games, important birthdays, names of celebrities, she wanted to remember making out with Riley Matthews the most.

 

“Go figure the one time I got further than simple hugs and innocent hand holding with you I don’t remember.”

 

Riley had nothing to say to that. Maya looked up from the table to see her expression, but she was still focused on the stove, her back still turned.

 

“But, when I woke up you were in the living room with everyone else. And they said you’d been there all night. Were they covering for you? Did you tell them what happened?”

 

“Well, I figured it’d look pretty bad to that girl you dragged to our after prom party if she saw both of us sharing a bed all intertwined with each other,” Riley said pointedly. “So, I went back to the living room and pretended to sleep until they woke up.”

 

“That girl,” Maya scoffed at her description. “You mean my _date_?”

 

“ _That girl_ ,” Riley groaned playfully. “I was very jealous. I didn’t know I was, but looking back… definitely jealous. Can't even deny it at this point.”

 

“You don't say?" Maya smirked, leaning back in her chair. "Well, I wasn’t too fond of you dancing with Lucas either, so we’re even.”

 

“Amanda was trashy.”

 

Riley remembered names quite well, so she knew for a fact that Riley would have remembered that her date's name was Amy. She didn’t bring that up, just laughing along at how ridiculous she was being and how easy it was to talk about the stuff they never could have before.

 

“She was the fourth best student in our graduating class.”

 

Riley turned around at that, giving Maya a sharp look. “I don’t care. She was still trashy. We went to college together and had a couple classes with each other. We did not get along at all.”

 

“You guys are so much alike, though,” Maya laughed. She turned serious again when she saw Riley’s glare. “Hey, you were. You can’t get mad at me for trying to move on with her when you’re the one who ignored me just because I was gay.”

 

The words hung in the air, the malice echoing through the apartment.

 

“Not yet, Maya,” Riley murmured.

 

That wasn’t a problem for Maya. She didn’t even know why she had said it. Maya was just as afraid of discussing high school as Riley was.

 

“Yeah, that was meant to come out much more jokingly than it did,” she mumbled.

 

As if it never happened, Riley’s teasing tone came back. “You better eat that pancake, or I’m gonna make you tell me why you still look like it’s going to kill you.”

 

She sighed, shaking her head. She refused to tell Riley about her stupid breakfast thing. She picked up the fluffy pancake with her fingers, tearing off a bite. She looked at Riley with a glint in her eye as she swallowed. “8 out of 10. Topanga makes them better.”

 

She playfully scoffed, flipping the second pancake she was making. “I never claimed to be as good as my mother at anything.”

 

“Speaking of your family! What’s the deal with Auggie? He’s like, eight feet taller now.”

 

“I know,” Riley shook her head at that. “All of his friends call him Aug or Gus, it’s weird. And he has a girlfriend. Like, a real girlfriend who calls him August. That comes and eats dinner with us. To _family_ dinners.”

 

“Please tell me it’s not Ava,” Maya dragged out.

 

Riley laughed, shaking her head. “Ava and him still have something going, but they ignore each other in school, so I don’t know what’s up with that. She’s always over, but I’m pretty sure she friend-zoned him. He refuses to discuss his relationship with her and whenever I bring her up he goes on and on about how in love he is with Jenna, which I hate hearing about, so I’ve stopped bringing her up.”

 

“Why don’t you like Jenna?”

 

“No one does,” she said pointedly, turning off the stove and coming to sit at the table with her. “She’s awful, Maya. Even my parents can’t stand her.”

 

“Damn. They even liked me, so she must be terrible.”

 

“He blames you, actually,” Riley laughed. “He defends her to my dad by saying that no one he brings home will compare to you and he said it’s your fault that the expectations are so high and his girlfriend shouldn’t be treated so unfairly just because you wooed them over when you were seven.”

 

“Wow, he really reads into things too much, huh?”

 

Riley interlaced her fingers once she sat down, resting her head on her hands. “Just a little.”

 

Maya squinted her eyes together, putting together that puzzle. “Wait, so you mean to tell me that you’ve never brought anyone home?”

 

“I brought Lucas home sometimes when we were together, but not much,” she shrugged it off, but Maya still found it odd. “The bay window has been out of order for years. It’s been solely the front door. I don’t know. I tried to bring new friends home, but every time I took them in my room I felt guilty because you weren’t there. Even Smackle! I brought her to my room, then quickly redirected our visit to the kitchen,” she laughed. “You think I didn’t care, but I had a lot of weird quirks after you left too.”

 

Maya opened her mouth to point out that it wasn’t her that left, but she shut it quickly, deciding now still wasn’t the best time for that conversation.

 

Riley’s phone went off and she grabbed it from the counter. Maya couldn’t help but be amused when she groaned.

 

“It’s Zach.”

 

“Crazy idea here, _super_ crazy, but hear me out. Maybe, if you don’t like him, you should break up with him,” Maya smirked at her own wit.

 

“We aren’t dating,” Riley reminded her. “But I get what you mean. I probably should, right? I mean, it’s more of an inconvenience than anything right now.”

 

She couldn’t help herself from teasing Riley at that. “Yes, yes, sex is _so_ inconvenient, I see your point.”

 

“Well, for me it is. I don’t hook up with teachers, so I suppose there’s not nearly as much of a thrill factor, wouldn’t you say so, Maya?”

 

Maya scowled at Riley’s faux innocently sweet tone.

 

“It was _one_ teacher and you will never repeat that,” she ordered.

 

“If this is you trying to be intimidating you’re doing an awful job."

 

Her only remark back was, "Eat your pancake, Riley.”

 

She never could intimidate Riley the way she could others. Riley had this notion that Maya would never hurt her. As much as Maya hated her smug confidence of safety, it was the truth.

 

“I will do that. And do you want to know why I will? Do you want to know why I'm going to eat this pancake, Peaches?” she drawled out, a smile that was half of a smirk on her face. When Maya didn’t answer, she nudged her leg under the table. “Ask me why.”

 

She let out a deep breath, raising her eyebrows. “Why, Riley?”

 

A smile came to her face as she picked up the food and bit into it whole. “Because pancakes don’t scare me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eventually the fluff will stop and it'll get dramatic because high school always bites you in the ass, but it's a slow build up, okay?


	8. pt. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley and Maya are sneaking around, but their friends aren't as dumb as they want them to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I just updated, but you guys were extra nice last chapter and I had this done, so here ya gooo

“Wait,” Riley looked up from the text she was typing on her phone. “What am I telling Farkle again?”

 

“I would suggest the same lie you told Smackle and Lucas,” Maya smirked.

 

“I shouldn’t have told them I ended things with Zach,” Riley groaned, throwing her head back. “Farkle isn’t going to believe I’m on a fourth first date. He’s all wise and emotional and reads into things.”

 

“He believed you the first three times and you have no other excuse up your sleeve at this point since you’ve already told two other people you’re on a date with him,” she told her firmly. “I _told_ you to tell them that it was a work thing, but you said-“

 

“Yes, Maya, I am now seeing that your excuses are still much better than mine, but ten minutes ago this seemed so believable.”

 

Maya laughed a little, shaking her head at Riley’s self torture. “Honey, that never sounded believable.”

 

“Stop enjoying this!” she yelled. But behind that yell was a frustrated smile. “Things were so simple.”

 

“Well, technically, they still could be if you hadn’t already made me your dirty little secret.”

 

“I am tangled in a web of lies,” Riley sighed, dramatically dropping herself further into the pillows of the bed, only making Maya laugh harder. The taller girl’s face became more composed as she sighed, holding her hand out for Maya to hold. “I just don’t want them to ruin us.”

 

She glanced down at the hand before taking it in her own. She wanted to mention that they might believe Riley was straight if she wasn’t so outwardly affectionate towards her lesbian best friend, but she wasn’t sure how Riley would react, which seemed like a big risk to take for a snarky comment.

 

“Yeah. They probably ask more questions in a day than everyone else in the city combined.”

 

“Or the country,” Riley threw out, clearly still annoyed. “Why can’t they just respect my privacy? Why do they automatically think we’re up to something if we’re both alone? Are we not the best friends ever again? Riley and Maya?”

 

“Maybe because you flirt, Riley,” Maya found herself voicing teasingly.

 

Over the past few weeks, things had become easier to talk about. Riley had become less anxious when the mention of her feelings for girls (or _a_ girl) came up and Maya gave into the fact that, despite a bit of anger, she was definitely still infatuated with Riley Matthews.

 

They partially hid the fact that they hung out almost every night due to Riley’s determination not to confirm anyone’s speculations, but a lot of the reason they didn’t mention it was because they both didn’t want the others to join them.

 

It sounded selfish, but Maya didn’t want to share Riley. She felt like she had too much to catch up on, even after weeks of being inseparable, and she wasn’t ready to willingly pretend to be just as interested in Smackle’s life as she was with Riley’s. So, she agreed that their relationship should stay under the radar. At least for now.

 

“Peaches!” Riley gasped at the accusation. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am Riley Matthews! Anyone can tell you that I don’t even know how to flirt!”

 

“ _Okay_ ,” Maya scoffed. “Riles, you may fail at being cutesy around Zachary, but you have been doing a great job flirting with me, which anyone who knows you can tell _you_.”

 

“Maybe you’re just reading too far into it because you still like me.”

 

Maya looked at her with slit eyes, trying to decide exactly how bold she wanted to be tonight. “Am I? I can’t confirm nor deny.”

 

Riley suddenly had no playful banter to throw out, just bringing a hand to rest on her chin, trying to hide her smile.

 

Maya’s phone buzzed and when she read the text message she laughed. “You aren’t being too mysterious.”

 

She passed Riley the phone and watched Riley roll her eyes at a text that would’ve made her freeze up and shut down two weeks ago.

 

_Farkle: You two are fooling NO ONE._

“He thinks he’s so smart,” Riley shook her head.

 

Maya wouldn’t point out that he was actually right.

 

Riley had first sat on this bed with Maya two weeks ago, but it seemed so much longer. Maya had only come back to her roots a little over a month ago, yet she already felt so comfortable, like nothing was missing. Some days she forgot she ever left.

 

“Just play dumb,” Riley suggested.

 

Really, it was their only option at this point.

 

_Maya: Huh???_

She looked up at Riley and instantly glowed at the expression Riley wore. The brown eyes looked so smitten with little old her. “Are you finding sneaking around to be exciting, Matthews?”

 

“No!” she insisted a little too quickly. “No, I was just thinking about where we should order the pizza from.”

 

“I already ordered it, so don’t think too hard.”

 

“I am your guest!” she instantly pointed out with her fake exasperation again. “I think I deserve a say in the matter, don’t you?”

 

“I got it from the place you like, chill out. But next time, we’re ordering from my place, no exceptions.”

 

Riley was suddenly beaming again, her smile right across her lips as if it’d never left. “As long as tonight it’s my turn, I don’t care.”

 

“I would just like to point out to you that you chose dinners the past three nights – even though _I_ was the one who cooked two of them.”

 

“I like watching you cook,” she laughed at herself. “Besides, you live to please me.”

 

“You think so?” Maya challenged.

 

Riley just nodded. She opened her mouth, most likely to spit out a challenging remark, but she was silenced by knocking at the door.

 

“I will go get your precious pizza.”

 

“I’ll wait right here on this bed for you and be comfy enough for the both of us.”

 

Maya let out a laugh through her nose, shaking her head.

 

She opened the door and froze. This was not the pizza man.

 

“Hey, Zay,” she said a hint louder than she had to, trying to make sure Riley knew to keep her ass on the bed. “Do you need something? I thought I told you that I couldn’t hang out tonight.”

 

“Yeah, I’m just dropping by,” he nodded. His casual demeanor was much too forced and Maya bit back a laugh at how obvious his attempt to catch the two girls in a lie was. “Your text made you seem sad.”

 

She crossed her arms, raising her eyebrows. “How did I seem sad?”

 

“You,” he trailed off, raking through his brain for an answer. “You didn’t use emojis.”

 

“Zay,” she began slowly as if she was trying to teach a concept to a kindergartner, “when have I ever used emojis in the past in a text to you?”

 

He stayed silent.

 

“Look, I’m truly just swamped at this new job. I have so many cases to go through that it’s insane. I just can’t go out tonight, okay?”

 

“So, you’re telling me that you, Maya Hunter, plan to spend your Saturday night going through case files?”

 

She gave him a look of annoyance. “Is that not what I texted you?”

 

“I don’t buy it. You’re either depressed _or_ you just have better plans.”

 

“I appreciate you and your crew of boys, plus Smackle, constantly playing Nancy Drew, but I’m fine. I’m not sad, I’m not avoiding you. You guys are the only people I know in the city, I just need to do work. You may not understand seeing as you haven’t graduated, but I, on the other hand, am a grown up.”

 

He glanced down and his face lit up as if he’d found the winning ticket.

 

“ _Those_ are sparkly shoes,” he pointed to the pair beside Maya’s feet. “I can’t picture you wearing them.”

 

“Oh, yeah, they’re a friends. She left them here,” Maya looked down at the strappy silver sandals he was looking at. The straps were covered in rhinestones. She would lie and say they were hers, but as much as Maya hadn’t been as present in their friend group, she hadn’t changed _that_ much. She wouldn’t be caught dead in them.

 

When she looked up, there was a smirk across Zay’s lips and, while there was no getting out of this, she refused to allow him to come in and spend time with her and Riley.

 

“Funny,” he sang. “I know a girl who has shoes just like them. Maybe it’s the same friend?”

 

“I doubt it. It’s a big world and two people can own the same pair of shoes,” she rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance. He definitely knew. So, to dig herself in a deeper hole, she began to give unnecessary information. “They’re my friend, Melanie’s. She’s visiting.”

 

“Oh, from where?” he played along, a smile still on his face.

 

“Alaska.” She regretted saying that the minute it was spoken out loud.

 

“Alaska!” Zay exclaimed with amusement. “Wow, that must be fascinating. Is she here? I’d love to ask her questions about _Alaska_.”

 

“She’s out.”

 

He furrowed his eyebrows in mock confusion. “I thought she only knew you.”

 

“I set her up on a blind date,” she continued the lie, which at this point was completely unbelievable.

 

“But you just said the only people you know in New York is us,” he challenged. “Is this man Lucas? Farkle?”

 

“No, she’s on a date with a guy I met in college. He lives in Uptown.”

 

“Oh? Why don’t _you_ ever hang out with this college friend who lives in Uptown? That’s quite a nice area.”

 

“I’m gay and he’s more focused into hooking up with girls every night at the moment. He feels he’s not getting any younger and I refuse to have sex with him. There’s no point in me traveling all the way there when he’d be on Tinder the whole time.”

 

“So, is it a date or a hook up?”

 

“I don’t ask about my friend’s sex lives,” she said haughtily, running out of both lies and patience.

 

“ _Fine_ ,” he agreed to settle. “I’ll go, but-“

 

“Did you order a cheese pizza?”

 

Maya wanted to curse the teenager holding a medium pizza in his hands. Zay was so close to letting this go and leaving.

 

“Yes, here you go. Keep the change,” Maya handed him the money that had already been in her hand from when she had thought Zay was the pizza man.

 

“Have you not eaten in a few weeks?”

 

“Are you calling me fat?” she raised an eyebrow.

 

“Well, it’s just funny, because you went on and on about how you rarely at pizza a few weeks ago, yet here you are. With a large pizza. To eat all by yourself.”

 

“It’s a medium, first of all,” she corrected him sharply. “Second of all, I like to warm it up for lunches during the week and you all were right, salads are dumb.”

 

“And you’re saying-“

 

“If you have nothing of importance to say, I need to return to my case files and eat this pizza before it’s cold.”

 

Zay put up his hands, outright laughing at this point. “Okay, I get it, I’m leaving. Say hi to Riley for me, would you?”

 

Her breath caught for a minute, but she quickly pulled herself together without delay. “Riley’s not here.”

 

“Okay, Maya,” he winked over his shoulder before retreating down the hallway.

 

She groaned in frustration, shutting the door and turning around to bring the pizza back to her room. She stopped when she saw Riley in the doorway, her shorts clinging to her body along with a t-shirt that belonged to the blonde.

 

Her voice sounded so melodic compared to Zay’s. “You have gotten much worse at lying, Peaches. Your excuses for my texts are good, but _that_ ,” she laughed a little and Maya began to glare at her. “I’d give it a D minus.”

 

“It’s nice to see you calm about all this,” Maya said quietly, going to open the box with pizza inside.

 

She moved to a cabinet, getting out two plates and handing one to Riley.

 

“Well, they think what they think and I can’t change it,” Riley sighed.

 

It was clear she was unhappy that nothing she could say would persuade the other four of their crew that she was straight, but Maya was happy she couldn’t. She liked this fun, flirty version of Riley. It reminded her of old times, but it was better now because they knew. Maya didn’t have to act like she was her _just_ her best friend around Riley in fear she'd be uncomfortable anymore, because Riley just knew. Sometimes, on confident days, Maya even knew that Riley still liked her back.

 

Still, Riley hadn’t made a move, but Maya was enjoying it while it lasted. At least knowingly flirting was a step further than they had ever been before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is semi-sweet still, then it's time to initiate the conversation they've so beautifully avoided thus far


	9. pt. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya talks to her ex and that never leads to good things.

Maya had no idea if Smackle felt the tension in the room or if it was all in her head, but she definitely regretted putting herself in this competitive situation.

 

The only thing worse than where she was was where she could be. Lucas, Zay, and Farkle had ditched the busy streets of New York to go camping, which Maya didn’t get why anyone would put themselves through. She could picture Zay and Ranger Rick being idiotic enough to sleep with crickets and bears upstate, but she thought Farkle was smarter than subjecting himself to that.

 

Since the boys had gone for the weekend, Riley had insisted that the other three have a girls night. Agreeing was Maya’s first mistake. At the time, it sounded fun. It was just an excuse to spend more time with Riley, but since making that decision as she’d left work six hours ago she wished she hadn’t.

 

She hadn’t felt this feeling in a long time and she hadn’t missed it at all.

 

She sat in Smackle’s and Lucas’s apartment and watched someone be best friends with _her_ best friend, which Maya was not handling well. She hadn’t made snide remarks yet, but they were on the tip of her tongue. Listening to Riley and Smackle reminisce about their vacation in Boston last summer and – what they deemed to be – risqué college adventures was excruciating. She liked it when Riley told her about past stories, but she didn’t like when Smackle was there to laugh at inside jokes and add little details that Riley had forgotten while they both fucking giggled about the good ole times they had when Maya wasn't around.

 

Maya knew it was technically her fault that she wasn't included in those times, but she didn't really care about the technicalities. She was envious and sour and bitter and wanted to scream -  _that's_ all she really cared about at the moment.

 

Glancing down at her phone she prayed there would be a text message. She was shocked when there actually was one considering her only other friends decided to be hicks for three days. She did a double take.

 

_Kendal: Hey. How’s your summer?_

That sounded… casual. She knew Kendal had been doing well since they'd broken up. She'd been in Minnesota based on her constant posts on Instagram, but she’d thought they had silently agreed that they wouldn’t reach out and their relationship was nonexistent. In fact, Maya had wanted Kendal to keep her distance after they’d graduated. Yet, in Smackle’s spacious living room, with the two other girls bonding over times that she wasn’t a part of, she was grateful for the distraction.

 

_Maya: Hey, you! It’s been awhile._

She had to wait a few minutes. It wasn’t like Riley who texted back in mere seconds.

 

_Kendal: That might be the friendliest greeting you’ve ever given me._

That caught her off guard. Really? That was the friendliest greeting she’d given to a girl that she’d dated almost her entire senior year of college?

 

_Maya: Whatever. I’ve greeted you much friendlier._

_Kendal: Unless it was to emphasize how much you wanted sex you have never used an exclamation point in your life._

The first thought Maya had went to Riley. Her best friend would find it hilarious to know that Maya rarely used exclamation points with Kendal considering her texts to Riley were full of them. Some of her texts only included ‘!!!!!’ to emphasize how important the text before was. She really hadn’t used _any_ exclamation points?

 

Her phone was suddenly ringing, breaking Riley and Smackle out of their conversation. They both looked to her and Maya wondered if it was the first time they’d seen her all night. She looked from the phone to them, the phone to _Riley_.

 

“I need to take this, it’s an emergency,” she rushed out, swiping the bar at the bottom to pick up the call. “I’ll see you guys Sunday night?”

 

“Yeah, see ya,” Smackle smiled, waving her away.

 

She ignored Riley’s piercing stare. She knew fully that Riley caught on to the fact that there was no ‘emergency’, but she didn’t care. Riley could have fun with her stupid new best friend. Maya shouldn’t have come back, _clearly_ Riley had moved on.

 

“Hey, Ken,” she held up the phone to her ear once she was on the stairs and walking down to exit the apartment complex. “Sorry, you caught me as I was leaving a thing with friends.”

 

“Don’t let me keep you. I wouldn’t want to ruin your Friday night plans!”

 

“Trust me, they were a drag,” she rolled her eyes, walking the opposite way of the subway station she’d gotten to Smackle’s from.

 

Her apartment was probably as far as possible from Smackle’s, but right now it’d be nice to have a long phone call with Kendal as she walked through the streets of the city she called home. She never thought she’d want to mingle with her again, but at the moment she wouldn’t mind one of the hour long phone calls that they used to have. Even if they weren’t good as a couple, she had been a good friend – not to mention extremely accepting of how closed off Maya was about certain topics.

 

“Well, if you’re sure,” she trailed off. Maya cursed at how happy she seemed at the fact that Maya left friends to talk to her. She’d probably given off the wrong idea. Sure, she was pissed at Riley, but she was still maybe, probably, sorta-kinda crazy about the girl. “So, what the hell is up with New York? I thought it was supposed to make people bitter and ruthless.”

 

“It does, trust me. The people here are nothing like you and me.”

 

“You missed my point, Maya,” Kendal’s laugh reverberated through the phone. “You have become quite friendly all of the sudden. What’s going on?”

 

“I think you’ve just forgotten how charming I can be.”

 

Unlike Riley, who boosted her ego when she’d self proclaimed herself as charming, Kendal snorted. “I did not date you based on your charm. You were about as charming as a grasshopper.”

 

“Firstly, ew,” Maya laughed as she crossed a street, thinking of the boys in the wild. “Secondly, that is so a lie! Why else would we have lasted so long?”

 

“Because you’re funny,” Kendal answered right away. “Whoever convinced you that you’re charming is a liar. You can sweet talk people, every now and then, but only when you’re desperate for something. The only time you were even remotely charming was to get me to have make up sex with you.”

 

“That is not true!” Maya scoffed. “This is the second time you’ve brought up sex, you’re making me sound like an ass.”

 

She knew Kendal well enough to sense that she was enjoying this conversation of what a terrible girlfriend Maya had made. She was glad she wasn’t bitter with her words, because Maya had absolutely no defense for herself as she looked back. When it was all happening, her and Kendal’s senior fling, she’d thought she had been quite romantic. Now, it was undeniable that Kendal had a point.

 

“Every single time we argued, your solution was to get me in bed. Then, you’d make dumb jokes the rest of the night until I was laughing.”

 

“And it worked!” Maya smirked. “Personally, I think that’s great problem solving.”

 

“For someone who doesn’t know how to give formal apologies, you did resolve fights fairly well, I’ll give you that,” Kendal agreed. “But, really, what the hell are you doing in New York that has you saying ‘Ken’ and using exclamation points just to say hello?”

 

“Okay, now you’re just giving me a hard time,” Maya laughed as she waited at yet another crosswalk. “You make me sound horrible.”

 

“You weren’t horrible, you just weren’t like this,” Kendal clarified. “Did you meet a new girl?”

 

“ _No_ ,” she said pointedly. Technically, it wasn’t a lie. Riley definitely was not new. “Why are you calling, exactly?”

 

“Ah, there’s the charm you claim to have,” she teased. “I’m calling because we’re halfway through summer and we still haven’t talked, despite your insistence that we would remain friends.”

 

Maya sighed, sweeping her hair to one side of her chin, ignoring the group of teenage boys that were staring at her from other side of the street she was walking on. She turned a corner to get away from them.

 

“A phone works two ways. You can call me too.”

 

Her voice sounded smug. “I hate to remind you of this, but I did. That’s how we’re talking right now.”

 

“I still don’t want to do long distance, Kendal,” she got out while she could.

 

Maya had no idea what the intention of this call was, but she hadn’t changed her mind about that. In fact, her mind was even more set on the fact that her and Kendal never would have worked, distance or not.

 

“I am offended,” she feigned hurt, but there was some real feeling in there. “Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean I want to get back together. I missed you. Some Lucas kid has tagged you in two pictures. All summer, that’s it, I’ve gotten two updates. How’s the new job? Is your apartment as dangerous as you’d thought when we graduated? And who exactly is Lucas, other than really cute?”

 

Most of the time, Maya forgot that Kendal was bisexual. For a long time she’d refused to date anyone that liked both boys and girls, convinced of the fact that they would always go the conventional route and cheat on her to replace her with a boy. It was a wrong mindset that Maya wasn’t proud of, but she’d been burned by one bisexual and didn’t need to go through it again.

 

Kendal had swept her off her feet, though. Or, she did at first. She was witty and kept Maya on her toes. She pulled her out of her comfort zone – which was extremely hard to accomplish with how un-reserved Maya was. Other than the fact that Maya hadn’t shared a single detail of her past with her, Kendal was the perfect girl. She had no reason not to be madly in love with her. She just wasn’t.

 

“The job is going good. It’s a lot more stressful than expected and pretty clerical so far, but I’m working to get a promotion that would make me more active in the life of actual kids and counseling. The sooner I finish grad school the quicker I'll climb up, but two years isn't that far off. Hopefully it'll pass quick. The apartment has been safe so far. And Lucas is a friend from high school. He looks dreamy, but he’s from Texas and a complete hick.”

 

“Wow, you speak highly of a friend you’ve had for oh, so long,” Kendal laughed.

 

"He's  _camping_ right now. He's king of the Farmtown."

 

"Yeah, people do that here too. It's really weird, if you ask me," she laughed. "So, do you speak this way in front of Lucas too, or just about him?"

 

“Of course. My sole job in life is to bring down his ego. But hey, he knows I love him,” she grinned, throwing her golden hair back. “He is one of the only two guys I ever thought I had a crush on while I tried to be straight. I mean, I was barely even a teenager when I did, so clearly I was dumb, but yeah. I thought I was in love with him or something.”

 

“So, you did go to high school!” Kendal found herself laughing at her own joke. “You refused to talk about it so much that I figured you either secretly dropped out or were bullied to the point that you were traumatized.”

 

She raised an eyebrow at that, but decided to respond with a challenge. “Can you really picture anyone bullying me?”

 

“No, I can’t, but you didn’t exactly leave me with many other ideas. I’d ask you a question about high school and you’d say you didn’t remember. Literally, every single question about New York that I asked you’d say you didn’t remember. ‘What were your high school friends like?’, ‘Oh, I don’t remember’.”

 

“Hey!” Maya burst out laughing. “I was not _that_ bad. I just don’t like talking about high school.”

 

“And why is that exactly?”

 

Maya debated if she should tell her. It was a little too late to fix things with her ex-girlfriend, but she didn’t find herself needing to be so mysterious anymore. She was okay to talk about them – all five of them – even Riley Matthews.

 

“Let’s just say that when I came out, I had a bad fallout with my best friend and it left me feeling like shit by the time I graduated. We thought we were forever, at least that our friendship was, but yeah, it ended horribly. I told her I was gay and she bailed. I was in love with a straight girl, the age old story of every lesbian.”

 

Kendal was surprisingly quiet. Maya thought she was speechless at the fact that Maya had actually told her something of substance, but instead a risky remark came and Maya knew Kendal had just been gathering the strength to get it out.

 

“So,” she spoked slowly and cautiously, walking on completely foreign territory. “Is Maya Hunter alluding to the fact that Riley Matthews actually exists?”

 

She actually stopped walking when she heard that. How the fuck did Kendal know about Riley? She was absolutely positive that Riley’s name hadn’t left her mouth at all in the past year they’d known each other until she’d seen her in the flesh in the beginning of June. Even when she was drunk, Maya was one hundred percent sure that she had never mentioned Farkle’s name, never mind Riley’s. Saying _Riley_  in college burned her tongue, yet, here Kendal was, knowing first and last name.

 

“Care to share how you know about Riley?” Maya found herself asking. She didn’t know what her words sounded like. They surprisingly didn’t sound mad or mopey, they just sounded in a daze like shock.

 

“Don’t get mad,” Kendal prefaced it. “You would always play music in your room. When you let me pick the song for the first time I was nervous, so I was looking through all of them, trying to find the perfect one to impress you with and there was a playlist titled _riles_.”

 

It left Maya mildly confused at how she pieced a playlist with Riley Matthews, but she was also impressed. And, she wondered how much Kendal had actually known about Riley this entire time . This was big news to her. She had always known about the one thing Maya was desperate to shove down in the past.

 

“How’d you link _riles_ to Riley?”

 

“Honestly, I would’ve passed the playlist by, but your use of emojis gave it away,” she confessed. “Literally, I’ve never received an emoji from you and she had like thirty of them before _and_ after her name.”

 

“She likes emojis a lot,” Maya found herself smiling again at the thought of her. She froze when she realized she’d used present tense, but relaxed when Kendal didn’t catch on. “So, that didn’t answer my question. How did you link _riles_ to my high school best friend?”

 

“Is that what you call her?” Kendal chortled. “Maya, you must deem me as an idiot. My detective skills are FBI worthy.”

 

“I wouldn’t know considering you did all of this behind my back,” she retorted coolly. “Stop playing games, tell me how you know about her.”

 

“Well, it wasn’t exactly hard. I went to Facebook, clicked on your friends list and I didn’t have to finish typing it out for Riley Matthews to pop up.”

 

She continued walking, knowing she was almost home. “Yeah, I guess I don’t have many friends with similar names.”

 

Kendal was quiet. They sat in comfortable silence until Maya reached her apartment and began unlocking her five locks.

 

“She’s pretty.”

 

It was so soft that Maya almost didn’t hear over the clicking of locking her door again after she’d gotten in. Except, of course she heard that. She always heard when people complimented Riley. Usually, she eagerly jumped in to agree with them.

 

Still, she had to play this cool. Things with her and Riley were good again – really good. She didn’t blow up on Smackle, so, despite being impatient with them tonight, she had hid it well and Riley thought nothing was wrong. Neither of them had even argued since Maya had been back. The last thing she needed was to betray Riley’s trust by confessing everything to Kendal, who Riley would be the first to remind her was her _ex_ -girlfriend.

 

“Yeah, she is,” she said simply, not delving into it any further. She’d learned from the Zay incident that her nervously adding in details did not help situations.

 

Kendal sighed, trying to laugh off the tension. “Well? Are you two back together?”

 

“ _What_?” she found herself exclaiming, going to lay on her bed. She found this conversation to be exhausting her. “We never dated, Kendal.”

 

“Wait, really?”

 

“Really,” Maya laughed. “We were just childhood best friends.”

 

“But I stalked her social media all night after that! And I stalked _you_ ,” she tried to convince them both of what had never happened. “You two were way too close in pictures and had so many lovey dovey conversations on each others walls and in comments. AND – most importantly - there were way too many subtweets about you that she had, both in high school and college, for you to try to downplay her a _friend_. As I said, when I creep, I creep hard. Which, in my defense, you practically forced me to piece together your childhood on my own.”

 

“She still has a Twitter?” she found herself asking a little too loud due to her surprise. “How did you find it? Are you positive it was hers? I unfollowed her eventually and I thought she had deleted it soon after. I used to look for it all the time, but I figured she didn’t have one anymore because nothing came up with her username or with searching her name.”

 

“As I said, Maya, I have FBI skills,” Kendal bragged through the phone. “I’ll dig through my bookmarks on my laptop and text you with it.”

 

“Damn, Kendal, two months of no talking, but you’re still pulling through,” she hummed. When she didn’t hear Kendal laughing along with her, guilt set in. “I’m sorry that we didn’t work out. And, I’m sorry I wasn’t as charming as I thought I was.”

 

That got a response and Maya could almost see her shaking her head. “I know. Don’t worry. It’s quite clear that it wasn’t me, it was you.”

 

“I’m glad you understand,” she rolled her eyes, but they both knew it was true.

 

“So,” Kendal began again, this time sounding much more casual. “Are you and Riley back together?”

 

“Kendal, I’m serious,” she protested. “We were never together.”

 

“Then, what’s the deal?”

 

“She’s straight,” Maya shrugged. “No story to tell. Just best friends.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Kendal dragged out. “We will go with that, we will say she’s straight and you two were best friends. If that’s true, how exactly did this fall out happen that was caused by the fact that you told her _you’re gay_? If she's really that homophobic to cut you off, how did you rekindle so well?”

 

“I can’t talk about that,” she replied. She would talk about Riley Matthews, but she could _not_ talk about that. “I will tell you how we were friends, though.”

 

And, for the first time in her life, Maya told their story. From start to almost finish, Maya told her about bay windows and the triangle and bay windows and history class with Riley's dad every year until they graduated and bay windows and silence the last half of high school – with the occasional addition of more bay windows (although that was rare).

 

To which Kendal simply replied, “Well, _Peaches_ , I’d say that’s love.”

 

She wanted to say it was. To say how alluring Riley was, even now. To tell her about the dock and how close Maya was to being happy that summer, but she walked away. She wanted to tell her how Riley was still flirting with her and how they were acting like teenagers by keeping this secret… thing they were doing, that wasn’t sex or romance, just Riley and Maya, whatever that thing was called.

 

Instead, she just corrected her. “ _You_ are not allowed to call me that.”

 

“Right, right, that’s for your girlfriend, I forgot,” she taunted. Then, she laughed, but there was a sadness there. It was slight, but it was there. “I gotta go, Maya. But, I’ll call again soon. And for the love of God, just go on a date or something, would you? Her sexuality sounds like the worst kept secret ever.”

 

“She really is straight,” Maya pressed.

 

Kendal just laughed. “Right. I know, I’m _sure_. I’ll talk to you soon.”

 

“Thanks for calling, Ken.”

 

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Bye, Maya.”

 

Then, the line went dead. The silence engulfed her, making her suddenly feel alone in the world from knowing that Riley and Smackle were probably still laughing at a dumb inside joke together.

 

Luckily, she didn’t have to think about that. Her phone lit up with an as promised text from Kendal and Maya had plenty to read. She grinned at the username – _captainofpluto_. What a stupid, Rileyish username. She went to Twitter and typed it in. She hadn’t tweeted in a long time, but she followed Kendal’s advice and scrolled down until she was at the very beginning.

 

If Riley read these she’d be humiliated with the grammar and abbreviations that they’d thought were so cool in high school. Some, she laughed out loud at. Then, it happened. She got to halfway through senior year, when Riley had changed her username and changed the name to “r.m.” and Maya naively assumed she’d deleted her account.

 

She was surprised at just how many were clearly _not_ about the cowboy that had been her boyfriend at the time, who Riley clearly used Twitter to posts status’s that he wouldn’t see. All of their friends thought they were too cool for Twitter, but Ranger Rick was especially vocal about how useless the site was. He said Facebook was all he needed and Twitter was just for nosy people. Maya was positive that if he’d seen some of these tweets they would not have lasted all the way through their sophomore year of college.

 

Some tweets were dumb. Some were cryptic. Some were lyrics. All of them displayed that Maya was not the only one feeling broken in high school.

 

She began at the beginning of the second semester of senior year, slowly scrolling up. She laughed at how unexciting their lives had been in high school, her heart slowly sinking as she got closer and closer to the point where Riley stopped tweeting.

 

It started cute. It got more serious. It ended with heartbreak. Her heart ached at certain points, because she remembered feeling this way too. She just assumed that Riley never had.

**Second semester of their senior year of high school:**

 

_Sometimes I still wonder what you think of when you look at plain brick walls. Do you want to make them beautiful?_

_Forbidden love is the story of my life._

_“She swears that she’s artsy, but you could distinguish Miles from Coltrain.” It’s a John Mayer kind of night…_

_Peaches will always be my favorite fruit, even if it’s not yours._

**Prom night:**

 

_I don’t know if I want you to remember last night, but I plan to remember it forever._

_“I’m a mess, I confess, that I’m nothing without you.”_

**Beginning of college:**

_We all have something we regret. Mine is easy. I should have never left your side._

_“You can say goodbye, just to realize there’s no one left around” #jam_

_I just remembered I was obsessed with purple cats in middle school. I miss those days._

_College is new and great and fun, but I’d be having a lot more fun with you here._

**Sophomore year of college:**

_Facebook is the only link I have to you now, but you’re still enchanting, even through a screen._

_I guess there’s some things I never learned back in history class with you._

_I will never have a love story like my parents, I swear to god. I gave it up._

_Bay windows. Enough said._

_**Summer after sophomore year:** _

 

_Suddenly I’m doubting everything I’ve ever known about myself. Quarter life crisis?_

_I’ve decided that this is not a quarter life crisis, this is me realizing I’ve always loved you._

_Maybe I really have been in denial for four years?_

_Well, that went even worse than expected. I guess we really can’t be saved._

_I should’ve never tried to make us work. That fucked me up._

**_Junior year:_ **

****

_“I still wear your t-shirt out, all the ink is faded now. I wonder who you’re dreaming of tonight.”_

**Last summer:**

_It sucks that you have this life without me when your blue eyes still haunt me when I try to sleep._

Then, Maya did a double take at the year of her last and final tweet. Riley had tweeted four days ago. At first she’d thought it had gone along with the other tweets from the summer after her junior year, but the date was there, loud and clear. It'd been her only tweet in over a year.

 

**4 days ago:**

 

_They weren’t kidding when they say you never get over your first love._

After reading all the heartbreak, all the angst, all the pain that they’d _both_ gone through, Maya smiled at that. Maybe they could still be saved after all, because Riley had began to make it perfectly clear that Lucas had never been her first love.

 

Riley’s voice from a conversation that they’d had roughly 92 hours ago, still rang in her ears. “I thought he was my first love back then, but when you left, it was full of comparisons, you know? I loved him, I was in love with him to a point, but I was always comparing him to what we did, how understood I feel when I’m around you. And it just never measured up. I wanted him to measure up so badly, and I think for a while I convinced myself he did, but at the end of the day, it just never happened.”

 

Maya exited the app, but still held her phone, staring at it blankly. Riley had said that. All of that, she’d tweeted it to the whole internet. Things suddenly felt so real, like it wasn’t all in her head in high school. Somewhere along the lines in college, Maya had convinced herself that she looked too far into it. Riley never had and never would love her. Suddenly, the sixteen year old version of her inside felt so validated. She needed to see this.

 

“Well, I must say, I never thought I’d see the day that Maya Hunter was jealous of _Smackle_.”

 

She screamed out of surprise and fear, her face calming down when she realized the voice was familiar. She looked at Riley who was just laughing, a smile coming to her face.

 

Riley Matthews could never scare her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you think it's a cute chapter now, but just wait.
> 
> okay, so I'll probably be posting 2 more chapters within the week because they're already written and chapters 9-11 all happen over one night (aka it gets dramatic)


	10. pt. 10

**Previously:**

_“Well, I must say, I never thought I’d see the day that Maya Hunter was jealous of Smackle.”_

_She screamed out of surprise and fear, her face calming down when she realized the voice was familiar. She looked at Riley who was just laughing, a smile coming to her face._

_Riley Matthews could never scare her._

* * *

 

Riley was forced into a fit of giggles at Maya’s screaming, which Maya was not overly happy about it. Her hand was still on her heart, blue eyes glaring.

 

“Don’t do that!”

 

“I’m sorry!” she got out through breaths. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, but – I’ve never seen you so terrified before, oh my god.”

 

“How did you get in here? You scared the shit out of me!”

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she put her hands up, but she didn’t look too remorseful considering she was still laughing, “Okay,” she took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. “Okay, I’m done.”

 

“Good,” she rolled her eyes, suddenly irritated. She did not find this funny.

 

“I didn’t know if you were home. And if you _were_ home I didn’t know if you were sleeping. All I knew is that you ditched us for some fake emergency, so I used the keys you gave me.”

 

“I will have you know, it was a very real emergency. Luckily, everything is okay,” Maya let out what she hoped would sound like a breath of relief.

 

She would not, under any circumstances, _ever_ , admit that there was a possibility that she was jealous of Smackle. Lucas, she’d own up to. But not Smackle.

 

The way Riley looked over her with unimpressed eyes told Maya that it was clear she didn’t buy it. Still, she forced fake concern out of her voice. “What happened?”

 

“I’m not ready to talk about it.”

 

Riley rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Okay, Peaches. I’m just so glad everything is okay with everyone in this emergency that you can’t speak of.”

 

She still didn’t give in, just nodding. “Yeah. I’ll let them know of your immense worried attitude.”

 

“Give me a real emergency and I’ll be worried!” Riley laughed. “But, anyway, that was not nice of you to ditch us.”

 

“You and Smackle were having a great time and I had an emergent phone call,” she shrugged it off, still playing coy.

 

Riley smiled and went along with the notion that she left for an ‘emergency’. “Yeah, who was calling you? I thought they all had no service.”

 

"It wasn't any of the boys."

 

She didn’t want to be honest. She’d told Riley about the teacher, she told her about wild parties, she told her about some of her new friends – and assured her that they would never compare to _the_ Riley Matthews – but she definitely had skimmed over Kendal. She didn’t think Kendal would actually reach out and Maya hadn’t had strong enough feelings for her to make a big deal out of the relationship, so she painted it as a girl who she dated that wasn’t important now. Which was technically the truth, but it looked bad that she was so nonchalant and unwilling to provide details before, instead claiming that it wasn’t serious, yet ditched Riley and Smackle for her call.

 

Bracing herself for Riley’s future act of pretending to be fine with the situation and hide her jealousy, Maya opted for honesty. “It was Kendal.”

 

Riley’s head snapped over and the second Maya saw those brown eyes darken she knew she’d misread her. That look was not Riley’s faux ‘fine’ face. “Your ex-girlfriend? That Kendal?”

 

“Yes,” she said gently, not wanting to add to Riley’s apparent insecurity over the situation. She remembered how it felt to be jealous over Lucas, she remembered Riley being insensitive about that. She didn’t want to be that person.

 

“Let me get this straight,” she began speaking as if each word was calculated. Maya grimaced, realizing that Riley was not only jealous, but actually mad about this. All traces of playful banter were gone, now irrationally replaced with her unpleased expression that Maya still had more trouble reading than she had when they were inseparable in high school. “You ditched me and Smackle, your two long term best friends, one of which you’ve barely seen all summer, to talk to your ex-girlfriend?”

 

“Yes, Riley,” she confirmed, trying – and failing – to hide how irritated she was with this reaction. Riley had nothing to be angry over. Maya did nothing wrong, she removed herself from a situation that she was clearly not valued in. “I got sick of being the third wheel. It’s not a big deal.”

 

“You didn’t just ditch me, I wouldn’t care if it was just me, but you ditched Smackle, Maya. The two of you hadn’t hung out for an extended period all summer and you left to talk to – what? Some slut you dated in college?”

 

Maya’s eyes suddenly went cold. If Riley threw that word around about Kendal a few hours ago she wouldn’t have cared, but hearing her hiss it with such animosity pissed her off. Kendal clearly put Maya first during their phone call – something Riley failed to do that night – and it struck a nerve.

 

The ex-girlfriend that Riley hated so much had spent the past forty-five minutes listening to Maya talk about how great Riley was. She also rose to the occasion and told Maya to go for it, to embrace Riley this time, despite her own feelings that Maya could tell were still painfully there for her.

 

She found herself breathing heavily, her voice low. “Be very careful about what you’re saying, Riley.”

 

“What? One conversation and you guys are buddy-buddy again? You said you didn’t think you even loved her.”

 

“Why are you yelling?” Maya challenged, her own voice rising. “I’ve done nothing wrong. I felt like the third wheel, so I left.”

 

“I guess you really haven’t changed, huh? That’s classic for you, just classic, Maya. You did the same in high school, every single time you felt left out you bailed.”

 

Maya breathed through her mouth, nostrils flaring and jaw clenched. “Trust me, Riley, you do _not_ want to delve into this. We’ve been avoiding it for a reason and I am not calm enough to deal with it right now, not when you’re royally pissing me off.”

 

“No!”

 

She paused, looking Riley up and down before realizing she didn’t plan to continue. “No, what, Riley?”

 

“No. We aren’t dropping it,” she stood in the middle of the kitchen and began to take off her shoes. “It’s tonight. We keep avoiding it, but we can’t anymore. We can’t just not talk about things, we talk about everything.”

 

“I know our entire friendship has consisted of us doing things on _your_ timeline,” Maya spat out bitterly, “but listen to me when I am openly telling you that you don’t want to bring up high school with me right now. I’m livid right now. I am so pissed off with you for hiding behind Smackle – you don’t care that I ditched her. You care that I ditched _you_. And that it was Kendal I ditched you for. I’ve told you her and I would never get back together, so drop it. Drop Kendal and drop the thought of rehashing high school. Not tonight.”

 

“Then when?” Riley challenged, throwing up her hands in the air. “When do you suggest we do it?”

 

“Tomorrow. When we’re both cooled off.”

 

“I can’t sleep until we talk,” she refused that option. “Tonight, Maya. We’re both here, we’re both angry, we’re both clearly feeling strongly about the past right now. We might be heated, but that’s when the truth comes out. I want to know the truth.”

 

“You might want to know, but it won’t fix anything, okay? And I’m going to say things I’ll regret.”

 

“I don’t care,” Riley blinked emotionlessly, keeping her words matter-of-fact. “Our friendship is stronger than anything. I don’t care what you say, you can’t scare me away.”

 

“This isn’t a good idea.”

 

“Now, Maya,” she stood her ground. “Tonight is the night. I know everything you’ll say.”

 

Maya didn’t know why she was confident about that, Maya didn’t even know what she would say herself. She hadn’t talked about this openly with anyone before. She’d spent the past hour boasting about Riley on the phone, but she didn’t talk about what happened to cause her to convince herself  _not_ to think so highly of Riley for all those years. She hadn’t said a word to anyone about what happened.

 

Riley looked so smug across the kitchen, though, standing with her arms across her chest as if she was so tough. She was so confident that she knew everything that Maya felt in high school and Maya found herself disregarding the tweets she’d discovered earlier, all of those sweet words going out the window.

 

She was too pissed to be rational right now, and if that was the version Riley wanted to deal with, that was fine. Absolutely fine. Maya was growing sick of babying her, not to mention angered that she was so confident they’d be friends no matter what was said. Riley only thought that because Maya always let her off the hook, she always let things go that still bothered her, simply because Riley seemed upset. She wasn’t that person, she was heated. Maya could no longer just forget everything that happened when the culprit of her shitty times was standing right in front of her acting as if she knew everything about the entire fucking world.

 

“Fine,” she agreed through clenched teeth. “We’ll do it Riley’s way. That’s the way we always do it, right?”

 

By those words she knew. Maya Hunter had no doubt in her mind that this wouldn’t end well.


	11. pt. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Maya has no chill. Please, join me for the fight.

******_Previously:_ **

_“Fine,” she agreed through clenched teeth. “We’ll do it Riley’s way. That’s the way we always do it, right?”_

 

_By those words she knew. Maya Hunter had no doubt in her that this wouldn’t end well._

* * *

 

“Excuse me?” Riley hissed. “We never do things my way. It’s always been all Maya all the time! You’re deluding yourself if you think anything else.”

 

“PLEASE, tell me you’re kidding me,” Maya dragged out with apathy. “Are you serious right now? Name one time it’s been all about Maya!”

 

“The dock,” she spat out.

 

Maya shook her head in disbelief. “You kicked me out of your life then tried to weasel your way back in with a half assed apology four years later! Don’t give me bullshit about how mean I was to you at a fucking lake on the outskirts of town when you ruined my entire life.”

 

“Wow, that’s a little dramatic,” she scoffed. “You’re victimizing yourself. Poor Maya with the poor life. You aren’t that unlucky, at least not anymore! That’s what you _always_ do, you just revert to playing the victim whenever anyone tries to make a case against you!”

 

“Really? Tell me more about what I _always_ do, considering you’d know damn well, right? You’ve been out of my life for six years – which is your fault, by the way – but go on, tell me about how fucking well you know the adult Maya.”

 

“I don’t know the adult Maya! How could I? I’ve never seen you act like an adult in the entirety of our friendship!” she screamed at her with frustration. Then, her voice became cool and she corrected her. “And it was two years. I wasn’t out of your life for six years, don’t over exaggerate.”

 

“Oh? It’s now two years again? I tried to say it was two years for weeks and you’ve insisted how it’s been six. But, you know, now that two years is favorable to you, it’s back to two. Of fucking course.”

 

“Would you stop swearing?” Riley was clearly exasperated. “It doesn’t make you any tougher, or whatever you're trying to do! And you insist it’s two. Suddenly you’re saying it’s six? The coin flips both ways, you’re doing the same!”

 

“I swear when I'm pissed off, and I've made it quite clear that I'm pissed off right now,” Maya explained, before once again trying to halt the conversation. "You know what? We need to stop. This won't be good for us."

 

“Why? All you ever do is run from your problems, Maya!” Riley continued to push them both further down the path of reaching the point of rage that they wouldn’t be able to return from. “You’re eventually going to need to face the reality that our friendship was ruined back then. And not by me, but by _you_.”

 

Maya stood in place, momentarily staring at Riley with pure hatred in her eyes. This time, her voice was eerily calm and low. “Do you want to rephrase that, Riley?”

 

She stood her ground. “Why? Did you not hear me?”

 

“You are – you are unbelievable,” she stuttered, having a rare time where words left her. “I mean, I knew that in high school you were a heartless bitch, but you had me for a moment,” she laughed dryly. “For a moment you’d convinced me you’ve changed, but you’re clearly still emotional scum.”

 

“ _Scum_?” she yelled. “Are you serious? Just because I said the truth?”

 

“The truth,” she mused with fury. “Let’s evaluate the truth of that statement, shall we? I ruined our friendship? When? When I told you I was gay and you abandoned me for four years?”

 

“I might have abandoned you, but I came back!”

 

“FOUR YEARS LATER,” Maya suddenly found herself screaming even louder, not even caring if it was late or it woke up the apartment next to her. She saw nothing in sight except for Riley, and it wasn’t because she was so in love this time. “You came back four years later expecting me to crawl back like a lost puppy. Then, when you saw that I was fine without you you ran away without even telling me the point of the meeting. _Again_.”

 

“That’s not true! I-“

 

“Riley, every single thing we’re fighting about, every single fucking thing, is because of you. I don’t care how you fucking sugar coat it to help yourself sleep at night, the fact is that I told you I was gay. I was honest with you. I told you I was in love with you and you bailed. You acted like you loved me too the first day, got my hopes up, I thought I was finally getting my Happily Ever After, then you just fucking annexed me from your life. No explanation, no nothing. You fucking walked away like I was nothing to you.”

 

“That isn’t true,” she seethed. “That is bullshit and you know it!”

 

“Look who’s swearing now!” Maya rolled her eyes at the hypocrisy. “What part isn’t true? Enlighten me! The part where I came out and you exited my life after? The way you rubbed your relationship with Lucas in my face at every group event? The way you avoided me when we went out on group dates, yet always taunted my dates to the point that I had every gay girl in the fucking city avoiding me because you were so cruel to them? No? Not any of that?

“Was I lying about how I was honest with you - about something as big as my sexuality, by the way - and you disregarded everything I said the next day after weeks of you begging me to open up about what was wrong? Or cutting me off from the family that had became mine over the years? What about blaming the cause of us not speaking on the fact that I was supposedly too – what was the word you used? Oh, yeah! I was too _weak_ to deal with the fact that you and Lucas were together now?

“Did I lie about how I waited around for two years until high school ended before I began dating a girl seriously and you still sabotaged that? Oh, right, but you claim you had no part in that one, right?

“Maybe I lied about how you were an icy bitch to me for four years, then came back with your tail between your knees expecting me to not be hurt by any of that? You had the idea that I’d blindly love you after four years, yet it’s my fault for breaking your heart that day, despite the fact that you never told me what you had to say at the infamous dock meeting until a couple months ago! You never even told me you loved me, yet held it against me after – are you saying that’s a lie? Is it bullshit that I never had a chance to react to any of your feelings of your proclaimed love two years ago and you simply blame me for the end of our friendship because it’s easier than blaming your damn self?

“Oh! Or, was it that you scarred me to the point of not being able to trust anyone in a relationship because I assume that they’ll leave when I start revealing who I really am?

“But do you know what my favorite fact is, Riley? The favorite claim I have that you desperately say isn’t true? The fact that our entire life the past six years has been you toying around with my feelings and me covering your ass about it when other people notice because you’re too afraid to be your damn self – which after today I’m seeing why you wouldn’t want to be. You’re still an insecure high schooler and I’m finished. I’m done pretending like you’ve done nothing wrong. If you want reality to hit you, then I’ll deliver that.

“But I guess I’m a little lost here, Riley, so, please, do share. Which one of those claims is the one that’s a load of shit?”

 

Riley was crying, tears streaming down her face and her lip quivering. Maya’s vision was blurry as well, but she refused to give Riley the privilege of seeing her cry again. She rarely cried in fights and Riley, of all people, didn’t deserve tears. She didn’t deserve for Maya to exemplify that she was still hurting badly enough that she cried when she thought about high school and what happened six years ago.

 

In any other circumstances, including any other fight they’d had before this, Maya would always stop being angry and rush to make Riley happy again, but this was different. This time she couldn’t switch off her anger just to keep Riley from hurting. She was so fucking pissed and Riley invited her to recall why. She stayed where she was, shaking with rage.

 

“I don’t think we should talk about this,” Riley got out between weeps.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Maya suddenly found herself screaming again. “I can’t believe you right now, I really – I can’t. Everything – literally everything in your life – has been all about you and you expect everyone else in your life to cater to that. I did my time, I tried my best, but it is clear that you will never appreciate anything I do enough to admit that we aren’t just friends – that we were _never_ just friends!

“So, you know what, you go and focus about how unfair life is and how awful I am to you! Just steam over that, tell all our friends how distressed you feel because me being in love with you is _so_ inconvenient for your fragile emotional state. Meanwhile I’m not allowed to even utter your name to the others because you’re threatened that they might actually think we’re, what? Crushing on each other again? Yeah, that sounds about right. That’s how our relationship has always been, you crying on everyone’s shoulder while telling me to keep my mouth shut and tell no one about how fucking frustrating you are to deal with.”

 

“Let’s get one thing straight,” Riley strung a sentence together through shaky sobs. “I do not love you. Maybe I thought I did, maybe you confused me for a while, but this? Seeing this, you so angry when I did _nothing_ in high school but distance myself from an unresolved misunderstanding? This confirms that I am definitely not gay or bi or anything, at least not due to you. I didn’t miss you or your drama, which you’ve so kindly reminded me of tonight, so stay away from me. I don’t want to hear your voice and I certainly don’t want to be your friend, never mind whatever we’ve been the past few weeks!”

 

“A misunderstanding?” She could hardly talk from breathing so heavily. “That’s what you’d call high school? An unresolved misunderstanding? High school was nightmare. It was living Hell, because even though I needed friends more than ever, I had no one by my side. I didn’t have you, I certainly didn’t have Lucas who had suddenly decided to be the stoic boyfriend. Farkle and Smackle tried to be neutral, but it was clear everything I told them went back to you so I stopped trusting them… I had Zay. That’s it. And Lucas would get mad at him if he saw us talking in the halls at school, so usually we only talked in private, outside of school.

“Would you like to know why that is – why I was the angry, misunderstood, loner who just drew pictures in the back corner my last two years of high school? Because _you_ would get upset if anyone talked to me. Even in groups, if you felt people were focusing on me too much, you suddenly thought they were taking sides against you. So, would you like to know what happened? They stopped asking me questions about my life at group events too. That was not the result of a misunderstanding for me, Riley! That was traumatic and lonely and, most of the time, _humiliating_. So, forgive me if I can’t sympathize that you went through a misunderstanding with a childhood friend. Because, hey, that’s all I am, right? Not your girlfriend, just your childhood best friend.”

 

Riley narrowed her eyes. It was clear she regretted opening this can of worms, but it was too late now. They were all shooting out. Maya was sure even Riley didn’t know how to handle her like this, because she had never been this enraged by someone in her entire life.

 

“Why are you making me sound like an awful person?” Riley found herself asking through tears.

 

Maya was so sick of feeling guilty about a situation that she had no foul play in. Without remorse, she raised her voice, anger running through her veins. She no longer cared about hurting Riley’s feelings, that ship had sailed. “Because you _are_ an awful person, Riley! Did you really need me to say that out loud? Everything you’ve done since we were sixteen proves that! Get your head out of your fucking ass and maybe you’d see that you aren’t as innocent as you so desperately want to convince yourself that you are.”

 

“Where are you going?” Riley suddenly yelled.

 

Maya didn’t listen, continuing to storm through her apartment. She grabbed a pair of headphones, a sketchbook, drawing pencils, keys to her apartment, and her phone.

 

“I’m done here. I told you I’d say things I’d regret and I think I’ve done enough of that, so I’m leaving.”

 

“That’s it? No resolution? Just walking out the door?”

 

“Yes, that’s it! I have nothing left to say but hateful words, so consider this another unresolved misunderstanding! I’m being the bigger person, Riley. You should try it sometime.”

 

“Maya-“

 

“I don’t want to hear it, okay? I don’t want to hear you whine about how life is unfair. I’m leaving.”

 

“It’s your apartment!” she called after her.

 

“I’m glad you realize that!” Maya found herself getting out sarcastically. “For the love of God, you better not be here when I get back.”

 

“I don’t plan to linger in your shitty apartment!”she shot back. “You better not go running off to tell Farkle about how I’m supposedly in love with you, because I’m not!”

 

“I have no one to tell. Why? Because you did this, you started this fight when the only person of our group that’s available is Smackle, and you’ve proved tonight that Smackle is _your_ friend. Don’t worry, it’s still just like high school. You go cry about how you’re a damsel in distress and I’ll get through it on my own instead of acting like a fucking child!”

 

“I mean it. I’m not in love with you, so if you dare tell anyone I will deny it and personally see to ruining your life.”

 

“Would you shut up about it?” Maya still stood in her open doorway, trying – and failing – to yell quieter. “I wouldn’t dream of exposing how fucking straight you are, don’t you worry your cowardly little head about it!”

 

“I’m serious.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll ruin my life,” she rolled her eyes at the words. “You already did that a long time ago. Find threats that haven’t happened yet!”

 

And with that, she slammed the door, storming out of the building and into the cool night air. Walking down the street with her body shaking and tears running down her cheeks like rivers with heavy currents, she’d swear to anyone that she hated Riley Matthews.

 

Ignoring every safety rule of thumb there was, she went a few steps into an alley way, just leaning against the brick wall and letting tears run loose. She heard police sirens in the distance and could see more streetlights near the sidewalk, but she didn’t care. At that point, she could get mugged, she could get killed, it didn’t matter. She didn’t want to die nor was she suicidal, but she most certainly didn’t want to live through being that angry version of Maya again.

 

Eventually she picked herself up off the cement, reminding herself for the first time since summer started that no one truly had her back. It was time to pull herself together and stop living in this dream world. When she first got back she had convinced herself that she’d been wrong, that the five people in high school hadn’t been lying when they said they cared about her, but tonight proved all of that false.

 

The only person that gave two shits about Maya Hunter was Maya Hunter. She couldn’t believe she almost let herself forget that, almost became convoluted with the idea that other people could possibly love her.

 

This was the final straw. Maybe she didn’t feel such intense moments of being happy when she had cut her five best friends out of her life two years ago, but at least cutting them out had eliminated the state she was currently in, the state of feeling abandoned, alone, unloved, inadequate and, not to mention, completely and utterly worthless.

 

Reaching out to Farkle at the beginning of summer had been a mistake. She now realized she didn’t want to go back to this. She didn’t want to feel this way again. Maybe distancing herself would make it hurt for all of them, but she refused to submit herself to the way she’d felt before. She was cutting them out, whether they liked it or not.

 

She walked around for an hour, fuming about what had happened. She knew Riley would be at her apartment when she went back, purely because she never knew when to give up on a lost cause.She went over what selective words she’d say to the brunette when she got back inside, what words she’d shoot at her to make Riley hurt the same way Riley had made her.

 

This was it. This was the end.

 

Game over for Riley and Maya.

 

They weren’t fucking forever.

 

They were nothing but a sequel that shouldn’t have been written based on how horrible the first novel was.

 

She finally realized that she could never move past all of this. It was too much. Things would never be repaired, no matter how hard they tried. Hell, even if they could, Maya didn’t want them to. She never wanted to see Riley – or anyone connected to her – again

 

Starting now, she was the Maya Hunter she’d became in college and she’d tell Riley that however many times it took in order for her to leave.

 

She got closer to her apartment, stomping up the stairs and going to swing open the door.

 

But it was locked again.

 

And that was the second she knew that Riley Matthews had indeed left. Maybe she could recognize a lost cause after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the end of the night! but don't worry, rilaya is always end game, it's not over til it's over.


	12. pt. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smackle and Farkle try to fix things.

It was Thursday. It had been six entire days of Maya sitting alone in her apartment, completely isolating herself in the cave, formerly called a bedroom, after work.

 

Her phone was officially off. She had no one she wanted to talk to anymore. It was college Maya time now, and college Maya had survived just fine without all of this ridiculous drama. She didn’t need it, nor did she want it.

 

The boys had gotten back around seven Sunday night. She hadn’t seen or talked to them yet, but she knew that because by seven fifteen her phone was suddenly blowing up. As expected, everyone felt the need to save Riley again.

 

This time, she’d be smarter. No one could sweet talk her into how much she was missed and loved, no, she wasn't that naïve anymore. Their texts and voice mails fell on deaf ears. This time, she went one step further, deleting all of them off of Facebook. It was time for a fresh start – a _real_ fresh start in the _real_ world.

 

There was a knock on her door, but she didn’t make a move. She hadn’t ordered food. She hadn’t bought anything online. There was no reason for anyone to be on her doorstep unless it was one of her “friends”, so she stayed where she was at on her bed, determined to stay focused on the file she’d brought home.

 

In the past five days, a new life plan had been formulated. It involved constant work and zero time with the five strangers she’d pretended were still friends the past month. She would put all this anger and angst into her family, job and grad school next semester, get promoted in a couple years with a good pay raise, and hopefully get the hell out of New York City and be successful elsewhere. This city was not home.

 

The knocking persisted and Maya wished they would give up. Saturday there was only one knock on her door as Maya hid under the covers for comfort. By process of elimination she’d known it was Smackle and she wasn’t delving into that. Sunday, people knocked on her door at three different times. Monday, they had made four separate attempts. Tuesday no one came. Wednesday, Lucas was waiting for Maya to get home with a scowl and a lecture to accompany it. Maya had walked past and slammed the door before he’d finished his first sentence.

 

Now, it was Thursday, and Maya had to admit that the new approach was by far much more annoying. Whichever one of them it was wouldn’t give up with the constant knocking. Then, just when Maya had adjusted to a pattern and gotten in sync with the rhythm, he’d change it up again. Maya had a great feeling that it was Zay, but she wasn’t going to open the door to find out.

 

After forty minutes, the knocking finally stopped – Maya assumed his wrists were probably bleeding by then. She embraced the quiet, studying the case file in front of her on Jillian O’Malley, a twelve-year-old who had been acting out, creating obstacles for her to find the family that she had been quoted in the file to want.

 

Suddenly there was a click and Maya shot up. That was not in her head. _That_ was the sound of a lock being picked. She jumped off her bed, looking for something to protect her. The next lock was picked in no time at all as Maya found a heavy pan as her weapon. The only lock that seemed to give the intruder an issue was the bottom one, which made sense because half the time Maya’s key wouldn’t even get it to open without tinkering with it.

 

The door swung open and Maya stepped forward, swinging the pan and stopping as she caught side of brown hair ducking to avoid being hit.

 

Her blood quickly began boiling again. She’d have rathered an intruder than _her._ “What are you doing here? Out of everyone you’re probably the _least_ welcome here.”

 

“I’m sensing hostility,” she observed.

 

Watching Smackle objectively describe the situation, Maya remembered how she had to piece together social cues. Considering Maya mainly spoke with body language she knew this would be a hard confrontation for both of them.

 

“Yes, there is, you’re right,” she got out through gritted teeth. “Get _out_.”

 

“So, does this mean I’m more unwelcome than Riley?”

 

“Considering Riley isn’t here at the moment? Yes. You are hands down the most unwelcome at this very moment in time.”

 

“Riley said you were mad,” Smackle nodded curtly. “I see she is right. She tells me this started due to me. I apologize. I would like to state my case by saying that Riley and me are no threat to your friendship.”

 

She had to hold her tongue at how absolutely out of line Smackle was. She knew that she didn’t realize this was inappropriate, but it was. Her coming here, talking to her about Riley, was completely breaking boundaries.

 

“Get out of my apartment and go buy me new locks,” she ordered.

 

“You seem pretty safe with that frying pan,” she retorted, cracking the first joke all summer that Maya hadn’t had to fake laugh at from her. “Riley is upset.”

 

“I’m sure she is,” Maya spat out bitterly. “No one has been brutally honest with her a day in her life. I’m sure this is a culture shock for her.”

 

“Why are you pulling away from us again? I can see that you were happy with us by the fact that you hugged people, which you rarely did when we last spoke a few years ago.”

 

Her voice was still coming out as though she was observing a rat in an experiment, not Maya’s life.

 

“I’m leaving because I’m sick of this. I can’t deal with the drama, you are all exhausting.”

 

“There was no drama until you came back,” she pointed out. There was still no anger, but the words weren’t exactly kind.

 

“Well, now I’m leaving, so you can return to the simple life,” she hissed.

 

Smackle stepped closer, hovering next to Maya. “I didn’t mean to offend you. We like having you back and we don’t want you to go.”

 

“Riley does,” Maya challenged.

 

“That’s because you seem to have hurt her feelings.”

 

“Good. Because she’s hurt mine plenty too,” she huffed.

 

Smackle stared at her and Maya stared back with cold eyes. “I think you should apologize. She is very upset.”

 

“Smackle,” Maya found herself suddenly taking in deep breaths to keep calm. “I say this lovingly: Riley is too close to me for me to pummel her face in, but I do not have that strong of a bond with you and if you bring up Riley’s fragile ego one more time, I swear to God.”

 

“This is good. Allowing yourself to feel anger is beneficial in the long run, although it’s unpleasant. You should-“

 

“Stop,” Maya breathed out huskily, her breaths now audible across the entire city. "I appreciate you doing this, especially because I know we don’t see eye to eye on almost anything and that I scare you – you’re clearly much better at being someone’s best friend than Riley is, but trust me when I tell you to get the hell out of here before I bash your fucking head into a wall. And if you or any of the others come near this apartment, I will file a restraining order for stalking. Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t visit me, just let me go.”

  
“I was wondering how long you guys could go without talking about what happened,” a deep voice said. His voice was light-hearted, which further pissed Maya off. Was something about this funny to him? “You and Riley avoided that fight for a long time, I give you props.”

 

“Get out. Both of you. And install new locks by tomorrow or I’ll call the cops on breaking and entering.”

 

Farkle looked to the door, then to Smackle. “What’d you do, pick the locks?”

 

“She would _not_ let me in,” Smackle kept her head held high, spitting out the words matter-of-factly. “They're both being idiots and I needed to get in to tell her that.”

 

“I did nothing wrong!” Maya protested. “Literally! Do you even know why Riley is mad?”

 

The two braniacs looked at each other sheepishly before Farkle turned back to Maya. “She’s really upset. She said you got into a huge fight and you said awful things that she can’t bear to repeat.”

 

Maya found herself fuming again. Of course Riley couldn’t repeat what had been said. That would involve her being honest with both herself and others.

 

“I said nothing that wasn’t warranted,” she defended herself, her voice still icy. “Look, me coming back into this was a mistake. I’m better off alone.”

 

“How can you say that? You’ve admitted how much happier you’ve been since you’ve come back! You can’t throw that away.”

 

“I’d rather be miserable and know what to expect than continue to sit on this emotional rollercoaster. And I am so, so, so, so, so, so, _so_ sick of Riley Matthews. Just saying the name pisses me off.”

 

“Can you please just apologize and make up? You’re both clearly wrecked over this.”

 

“I told her that it was not a good time to talk about high school. I warned her this would happen, but she was so smug about ‘we’re Riley and Maya, we can get through anything’ and I got sick of her blind optimism and ignorance to what she did,” Maya found herself relaying the story venomously. “We all know how she treated me in high school. Maybe you guys forgot or downplayed it, because it’s been so long, but it didn’t happen to you. You didn’t feel alone and completely forgotten and worthless. I did. Because of _Riley_. She wanted to pick a fight, so she got one.”

 

“You rise above, Maya,” Farkle tried to softly persuade her. “You always have.”

 

“And I’m so sick of that!” she screeched. “I shouldn’t have to be the bigger person all the time. Look, if Riley wants to throw herself a pity party, that’s fine, but I’m not attending this time.”

 

“But-“

 

“You always give into her, Farkle! You all do! You treat her like this fragile puppy and leave me to make sure Riley is okay and just assume I’ll pick up the pieces when it’s rarely my fault to begin with. I can’t do that. I’m done. I am just – I’m so fucking done.”

 

He rolled his eyes, going closer to the short girl.

 

“If you come any closer I’ll cut off your balls, don’t test me.”

 

He didn’t listen. He got closer, wrapping his arms around Maya and just standing there. At first, Maya stood still. She knew this was a trap, this was him trying to soften her up, but it wouldn’t work.

 

“Farkle,” she tried to croak out.

 

He simply held her tighter and closer to his body, beginning to rub a comforting hand up and down her arm. Smackle looked uncomfortable just from watching the scene and Maya tried to pull away, but he wasn’t the scrawny little boy anymore. He was stronger and more prepared.

 

“Hear me out,” he murmured, his chin moving on top of Maya’s head. “You won’t want to listen, but just think about this possibility… Have you ever considered that _we_ aren’t the ones who succumb to Riley?”

 

Maya’s heart stopped. She was filled with confusion. What the hell was he getting at now?

 

“I do concur with that claim,” Smackle threw in.

 

“You remove yourself from situations before anyone can stand up for you when it comes to Riley. You pull away, you retreat completely when she’s around, then you get mad at the world for not bending over backwards to chase you.”

 

“No one has ever tried to chase me and you know it,” she sneered the truth at him. “None of you have. Maybe Zay to an extent, but when it mattered, none of you even tried to chase me, not then, not now.”

 

“We’re standing in your living room because I broke into your apartment because you wouldn’t let any of us in, no matter how hard we tried,” Smackle spoke up from the background. “Is this not chasing you?”

 

For the first time in Maya’s entire life, Smackle stumped her on something that wasn’t related to school. Maya stood there with nothing to combat that with. In a way, they had. They had always tried to talk to her, always tried to be there. They chased her, Maya was just too far gone for them to bring her back. In high school, in college, every time in between, she was just too far gone to listen.

 

“I suppose you have a slight point,” she got out bitterly. She hated that she had to admit that. “I’m sorry, though. I can’t look past this and be the bigger person any longer. I have been for six years and I’m so exhausted of always apologizing when she’s never deserved it.”

 

“She is so in love with you, Maya,” Farkle begged her to believe, but it was too late for that. “Are you really willing to give that away after you’ve fought so long for this? You were almost there.”

 

“I thought I was,” she said, her voice filled with fury. “But if you guys were here for it, if you heard what she said… she has no idea what love really is.”

 

“We all know she’s just scared,” Farkle tried to reason. Smackle nodded in the background, agreeing, but at this point Maya couldn’t find it in her to care. “What was said that caused this? How did it get this bad? I thought you’d have a mild fight, but this is _bad_.”

 

“Ask her.”

 

That’s all she could really say. If she told them how many times Riley told her to mention that she’s not in love to them she’d cause more problems for Riley. The other four people would undoubtedly accept it if she came out, but Maya couldn’t talk about Riley’s sexuality with their friends and not with her. She couldn’t sit here and muse over what Riley might be feeling for her romantically or trying to coax Smackle and Farkle to tell her how in love with Maya she must be. She didn’t want to speculate with them.

 

Riley’s sexuality was _Riley’s_ sexuality. It was her story, her issue to come to terms with. It was up to her to accept it. From experience Maya knew how hard that was. From experience she also knew how other people talking about it behind your back made things ten times worse. And after everything, even after she felt like utter shit for six days after their explosive fight, Maya didn’t have it in her to destroy Riley’s life the way Riley had destroyed hers all that time ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post again soon, but feel free to feed my ego with kudos/comments in the meantime.


	13. pt. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley finally grows some balls to try and fix things.

She was feeling okay. Last week had been rough, but after Farkle came things were better. She was talking to her friends still, although distantly, and she felt somewhat decent about her life. Riley Matthews was no longer in it, but that was probably for the best.

 

She hadn’t seen Riley in two weeks. As Maya entered the elevator to begin walking out of the office into her relaxing weekend, she repeated to herself how happy she was, how this wasn’t that bad. Riley was out of her life and Maya was absolutely, perfectly, no doubt about it, one trillion percent fine with that.

 

Riley was a fucking coward. Maya wanted nothing to do with cowards.

 

Besides, she wasn’t completely alone. She’d had Brooke take a train into the city last weekend and showed her around, almost feeling like a true big sister. Her dad wasn’t thrilled with the idea, still picturing Maya’s door with five locks, but after two girls begging nonstop he had to give in. Maya forgot to mention to him how the five locks were broken, figuring that was a story for another day.

 

Brooke had arrived at 7 p.m. last Friday night and stayed until 4 p.m. Sunday. It was like a saving grace, a reminder that Riley wasn’t the only person in the world that Maya wanted to know every aspect of. There were other people who were just as pure as her. _She didn’t need a coward._

 

She took a deep breath at the fresh air of New York. It was six forty-five. Usually she left the office between five and five-thirty, but lately she’d began leaving later. She didn’t have anything to come home to, so she figured she’d get ahead of the game in the one area of life that she was still thriving in.

 

The group of friends had hung out a couple times, but Maya didn’t go. She didn’t want to risk seeing Riley, and, based on Riley’s absence in the pictures Lucas posted to his Snapchat story, she was realizing that Riley didn’t want to risk seeing her either.

 

Maya shuffled to the side of the set of stairs so she could grasp a railing. She paused before she went down them, shuffling through her briefcase to be sure she had her house keys – she’d gone home without them a couple days ago, then had to go all the way back to work, then all the way back home again, so she was doing everything in her power to not be a dumbass.

 

She confirmed they were in the pocket she had designated for them before clutching the railing again and descending down the steps. She got down, turning right to start on her normal way home, but she quickly turned around and decided to take the long way and double around a block.

 

“Maya!”

 

Just hearing her voice made Maya feel like she could kill somebody. She never thought Riley would have  _that_ effect on her. When she heard her voice it usually brought rainbows to mind, not gunfire.

 

“Please, Maya!”

 

She picked up her pace, uselessly hoping that if she walked fast enough Riley would fuck off. She forgot that Riley’s legs were six million times longer than her own. Maya didn’t have the upper hand this time.

 

“I want to talk to you!”

 

“That sucks, because I don’t want to talk to you,” Maya replied curtly, staring straight ahead, focusing on weaving her way through pedestrians and hoping one of them would eventually block Riley’s path so she’d stop following her.

 

“I’m sorry!” Riley continued the exclaims of desperation. "I messed up, I know that!"

 

Maya almost stopped in her tracks to listen considering Riley was almost never the one to give in, but she was still too angry. Riley had a lot of nerve two weeks ago and fourteen days didn’t give her enough time to cool off.

 

“Peaches, please!”

 

“Don’t call me Peaches,” she commanded. “I’m too pissed off for nicknames.”

 

“I think moments like these are when Peaches becomes essential,” Riley tried to lighten the mood with a smile. She sighed when Maya didn't smile with her. “You need to remember how wooing I am in order to forgive me.”

 

“Wooing is not a word I’d use to describe you and I don't plan on forgiving you,” she spat out, her voice still lacking any sign of warmth.

 

“Okay,” Riley slowly dragged out. “So, I see that you’re a lot angrier than I expected.”

 

She scoffed at that, almost letting her guard down to laugh. “I appreciate the honesty.”

 

“I think you should hear me out.”

 

“Why would I do that?” Maya challenged, still sounding entirely bored with this conversation.

 

Riley still hadn’t taken her eyes off Maya and Maya still hadn’t looked at her. Deja vu. “Because, this will be a long walk home for you if you pretend you can’t hear me when we both know you can.”

 

“Look,” Maya spun on her heels to face Riley, stopping them both from walking further and almost having Riley topple over the short blonde. “You made it quite clear how you feel. You made it perfectly obvious that I shouldn’t have reached out to you again. That was my mistake – my _only_ mistake. I’ll own that. Everything else was your doing and I don’t want to talk about it, so leave me alone. I don’t want to hear you and I certainly don’t want to see you.”

 

“I don’t think that’s true,” Riley disregarded the rant. “I think you’re happy I’m here.”

 

“It doesn’t work like that, Matthews,” she muttered. “The world isn’t set up with people waiting on the edge of their seats to forgive you when you screw them over. You have to show remorse for your actions, which you haven’t done a day in your life, so no. I wouldn’t use the word happy to describe how I feel about you stalking me home.”

 

“Low blow,” she murmured, staying silent for a few seconds. Maya watched Riley’s face come to life again as she must have remembered she was on a mission. “I’m sorry. I really am, Maya, I am! But are we really going to throw away what we have just because of what I did when I was sixteen? You said yourself that I was a kid.”

 

“I never said that,” Maya scoffed.

 

Riley rolled her eyes. “Yes, you did. At the dock.”

 

“That was before you made me madder than I’ve never been in my entire fucking life,” she spat out. “You were sixteen, you knew right from wrong.”

 

“No, we aren’t doing this! We are stopping right here,” Riley suddenly halted, grabbing Maya’s wrist in the process, stopping them both from continuing stomping down city streets.

 

Maya quickly shook herself out of Riley’s grasp but she stopped with her, her brisk pace being interrupted. “What do you want from me?”

 

“I want you to listen.”

 

“I am. I’m listening while I walk home, so that eventually I can go somewhere that I can legally remove you from if you try to follow me – AKA: _my_ apartment.”

 

“That reminds me. I found an apartment and I want you to move in with me. We can be roommates. I visited it Tuesday and it’s pretty nice. You’d like it. It doesn’t have a bay window, but other than that-”

 

She couldn’t even let Riley drone on about her make believe fantasy. “If you think I would even consider moving in with you after what happened you’re a fucking turkey.”

 

“I also see that you’re still being colorful with your vocabulary,” she stated, still keeping her voice calm and collected. “Interesting insult as well, that’s a unique one.”

 

She was completely ignoring Maya’s sense of hostility and attempts of intimidation, which was not making the blonde any happier.

 

“Okay, okay, my mistake, now is not the best time to tell you that we’re roommates, I get that now. We’ll talk about the rent and location at a later date as I see you’re clearly stressed with other matters at the moment,” Riley laughed as she tried the new approach of getting under Maya’s skin.

 

She knew Maya better than anyone, meaning Riley also knew that this happy-go-lucky attitude she’d taken on at some point over the past fifteen minute walk was risky while Maya was in this state, so, as pissed as Maya was, she had to admit Riley had guts for doing this whole act. Plus, she wouldn't admit it, but a sliver of her that she would never show was slightly amused.

 

“Riley,” she said it through gritted teeth not only purely because she was angry, but also in fear of laughing at how absurd she was being. “We are not roommates. I will make that crystal clear until I die. We are not anything more than two strangers in a big city.”

 

“Really? Because even though you’re not smiling you seem to enjoy this idea.”

 

“I definitely don’t,” Maya got out dryly.

 

She began moving to start walking again, but Riley quickly caught onto her wrist again. This time she wasn’t so easy to let the tiny girl go. She dragged them both into a Chinese restaurant, asking for a table for two.

 

Maya felt like her entire head was going to explode. “Do I look like I want to have a fucking dinner date, Matthews?”

 

“No, you don’t, but you will. Consider it our last supper. Pretend I’m Jesus and easy to love.”

 

She narrowed her eyes, actually wanting to laugh at how absolutely stupid that logic was. “Are you aware of what happens to Jesus after the last supper?”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” she shrugged it off, failing to hide the shock that Maya knew of anything that happened in the Bible.

 

“Let me fill you in on Christianity 101,” she laughed wryly, but cursed when Riley smiled in victory at the sight of a smile. “After this great last supper, he literally was nailed by limbs to a cross and left to die. Which, thinking about it, I am sensing that there will be future parallels between you and him if you continue forcing me to be around you.”

 

“You’re lying,” Riley accused as they were led by a waitress to a table in the middle of the restaurant.

 

Maya quickly corrected that. “Can we have a corner table?”

 

“Of course,” the hostess smiled.

 

Riley looked at Maya with confusion and challenge at her request. “Do you need privacy to seduce me or something?”

 

She almost choked. “No. I need privacy so people don’t stare when I yell at you and crucify you to the damn cross.”

 

“I think you’re mixing up this story,” Riley still continued to insist that Maya was wrong about what she knew she was right over. All in all, she was not kissing Maya’s ass, which Maya really thought she should be right about now. Riley took out her cell phone. “I’m looking this up.”

 

Maya rolled her eyes. “Suit yourself.”

 

She leaned back in the booth they were seated at, crossing her arms smugly. She frowned when Riley began to light up and smile further. She eventually looked up and nodded her head, affirming what she’d already said. “I’m Jesus, Maya.”

 

“That is offensive to so many people,” she muttered.

 

“You left out the very important motive. He did it as an act of _love_. It’s official. I am the Jesus Christ of your world, Peaches - this is our last supper that I will pay for as my act of love.”

 

Maya’s jaw actually dropped as she looked around to make sure no one heard this conversation. Riley seemed to be quite ignorant of the fact that quite a large amount of America worshipped this person she was claiming to be. She knew Riley hadn’t gone to church for anything other than a wedding, but she was shocked she was so boldly throwing around claims like that in the middle of restaurant. It wasn’t like she was religious or offended, she was just in awe at how trusting Riley was that nothing bad would happen to her when she said things like that. She was going to get jumped one day. It was decided that if she continued this claim with anyone else, in any other public setting, she’d definitely get jumped.

 

“You can’t say things like that,” Maya lectured lowly. “I know you’re not religious, but some people actually believe the Bible has value.”

 

“You are the least religious person I’ve ever met, so don’t pretend to be preachy to prove a point about how awful and heartless and insensitive I am,” Riley warned. Then, she smirked. “At the end of the day, I’m still Jesus Christ.”

 

“You’re a fucking moron,” she mumbled. “And why should I agree to sit here through an entire dinner with you when I want to rip your limbs off and discard them in the ocean?”

 

“I can’t claim to be Jesus, but you can openly threaten to cut me into pieces and toss me in the ocean?”

 

She somewhat had a point, but Maya was too mad to acknowledge that. “Correct. I can either do that or the traditional route.”

 

“What traditional route?”

 

Maya smirked. Riley fell for that one like a charm. “To hammer nails through your palms and watch you painfully die on a cross. History suggests the traditional route is just as effective as ripping you apart from limb to limb, so you can take either choice, fine by me.”

 

“I’ll ask my dad about the accuracy of your version of history,” Riley dryly remarked. “You-“

 

“Can I get you anything to drink?”

 

“Iced tea,” Riley smiled at Maya, both of them knowing that her ordering a drink meant she was giving in and eating here.

 

“I’m leaving,” she huffed, moving to slide out of the booth.

 

Riley crossed her arms and did what she knew would box Maya into this dinner. She challenged her. “If you’re really so mad, you should be able to sit through this dinner as a proper funeral to our friendship. Unless, you’re afraid you’ll soften up and realize how overwhelmingly perfect I am over the course of the next forty minutes?”

 

The blue eyes stared at her with a fire raging inside, but Riley ignored it, keeping her expression completely unworried.

 

Her words were still coming out grudgingly, but, she’d admit, Riley definitely did know how to get her to stay. “I’ll have a Diet Coke.”

 

“We only have Diet Pepsi, is that okay?”

 

Riley had to cover her smile to find how funny she found the fact that Maya had to once again compromise.

 

“That’ll be fine,” she spat out.

 

“Are you ready to order or do you need time to look over the menu?”

 

Riley plastered on her sweet little polite act. “Can you give us a few-“

 

“We will both have fried rice and orange chicken," Maya looked to Riley. "You're still paying?"

 

"I am," she confirmed.

 

She smiled back up at the waitress. "Add on egg rolls."

 

The waitress looked between them, but Riley approved and she walked away.

 

“That’s the Maya I know,” Riley mused. “Way to take control, Peaches. This is good.”

 

Maya once again let out a sneer. “I hate you for doing this. And forty minutes will not fix what you did.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Riley waved her hand away. “So, let’s utilize this time wisely, huh? What do you need to hear from me to believe how sorry I am for everything in high school so we can drop it for good?”

 

“Are you sorry?” Maya pursed her lips, all jokes being thrown out the window.

 

The girl across from her dropped her smile, not expecting that. Her voice suddenly came out as gentle and pained. “Wait, are… Are you serious?”

 

She didn’t say anything, letting her silence and clouded blue eyes answer for her.

 

“Maya, I am – of _course_ I’m sorry. Is that why you’re so mad? How can you possibly think I’m not sorry for everything?”

 

“This has all seemed pretty easy for you," she shrugged the question off, having thought over how unapologetic Riley had always been about this entire situation numerous times before this unexpected confrontation. "One minute you like me, the next you don't. You continuously dismiss what you claim to feel for me. You did it in high school and you did it two weeks ago. So, no. I don't think you're sorry, because it hasn't ever felt like you were. It still doesn't.”

 

Riley’s eyes filled with tears and Maya appreciated that she was at least trying not to cry, for both their sakes. “I thought you knew how sorry I was – how sorry I _am_. It’s obvious, ask anyone.”

 

“You really think so?” Maya asked, genuine disbelief across her face. “Riley, you’ve never full-heartedly apologized unless I was cursing at you or you were drunk.”

 

“I was going to at the dock.”

 

Maya stayed silent for a minute, then spoke the truth. “But you didn’t.”

 

They were both quiet. Riley suddenly found looking out of the corner of her eye fascinating. Maya didn’t say anything to break the silence. She didn’t owe anyone an apology for being who she was. She refused to keep apologizing for how she was coping six years ago with her bitchy demeanor and she wasn't going to apologize for who she was now. And she definitely wasn’t sorry for finally admitting that she was gay at sixteen.

 

Riley took a deep breath after a while and opened her mouth. She looked at Maya, but stayed silent, her words catching in her throat. “I haven’t not given you a proper apology because I don’t care. You can’t honestly believe that I don’t care about what happened between us?”

 

Silence once again greeted her as an answer.

 

“Peaches,” she sighed sadly. She quickly moved her hands to her eyes, wiping tears before they could fall. “I thought you knew. I thought it was unspoken how horrible I felt about it.”

 

“How would I know?” Maya challenged, a bite still present in her words. “We’ve never talked about it. Ever. The past six years has been you pretending you’ve done nothing wrong while I turn the other cheek.”

 

“I-“ she cut herself off. To Maya’s shock, Riley pulled her hands up against her face, burying her expression. This girl with the happy-go-lucky attitude from earlier was truly surprised by this.

 

Riley took deep breaths and for the first time since they’d brought the subject up again two weeks ago, Maya realized that maybe Riley had regrets about high schol after all. She brought her hands down slowly after thirty seconds, facing Maya with the most intense form of sincerity the blonde had ever seen from her.

 

“I haven’t apologized to you, because I don’t want to think about how I acted – not because I don’t have remorse,” Riley told her earnestly.

 

Maya felt like she should say something, but she didn’t know what to say. She was paralyzed by the entire situation. She felt like this conversation was beginning to form the words she’d been waiting for the past six years, the words she desperately needed to hear to heal, but she tried to sit still and not get her hopes up. If Riley hadn’t said them in six years, she might not ever say them.

 

“Of course I’m sorry. I just thought you knew that I couldn’t form the words to express how much I wish I had handled things differently. I thought you not being more hostile than you were in high school - or even right now - meant that you understood how contrite I was about everything. I thought it’d been clear since high school that I was sorry.”

 

Maya sat on the other side of the booth with her eyes closed, trying to will herself not to break down in the back corner of the restaurant. She had to hold it in until she got home, until Riley couldn’t see how effected she was by those few words. She was still mad, but at least she didn't feel as worthless and forgettable.

 

“So, our fight two weeks ago – that was truly because you thought I never felt guilty about what happened?” Riley asked cautiously.

 

“What else would it have been about?” Maya suddenly asked, confused at what Riley could have possibly thought her explosion was over. It was clear as day, Maya was positive she hadn't even stuttered all that much.

 

“I thought it was just to make me feel guilty for trying to make you feel guilty for leaving Smackle’s.”

 

Maya furrowed her eyebrows, not believing Riley could really misread a situation that much. “You thought I got that worked up as part of a guilt trip?”

 

“Yeah,” she shrugged it off. “I thought we were avoiding talking about the past because you were afraid of hurting my feelings or making me relive the past. Not because you were still so angry about it. When I got home and sorted out everything that we – or mainly you – said, I figured the yelling was just because you wanted to hurt me after seeing how close I was with Smackle. I didn’t think you'd been holding it..." A mortified expression crossed her face. "You've been holding it in all this time."

 

“I would never say all that for the sake of a guilt trip,” Maya said softly, ignoring the fact that she failed to voice her true feelings until she was screaming them out. “We were avoiding talking about high school because I was still bitter. Not because I was afraid of making you relive it. Or, I guess, in a way it was partially because I knew I’d hurt your feelings, but it was mainly because I saw that fight coming and I didn’t want it to happen – especially not that night. I knew I’d yell, but you just – you literally forced it, Riley. I told you not to, I tried to explain that I was too mad to speak rationally about it, but you kept going.”

 

“Did you really think I wasn’t sorry?” Riley repeated, pain and her own guilt flooding her eyes. “Like, really? You did? All of these years, you were waiting for an apology?”

 

Maya couldn’t answer that question. She couldn't answer any of them. She’d sound pathetic if she admitted she’d wanted to hear Riley apologize the past six years and she’d be lying if she claimed it didn’t bother her that she never got that.

 

“Okay,” Riley took a deep breath, bracing herself for something, but Maya didn’t know what. When she stopped, she looked up and Maya noticed that her unreadable expression had gone. She was suddenly an open book again, and she looked like being so vulnerable scared the hell out of her. “Okay, I’m going to be real with you. I will say it all, I’ll say everything I thought was unspoken because you just silently understood how I felt about it. But don’t interrupt. You have to promise that you won’t try to talk over me, because I can’t do this if you start yelling at me again.”

 

Suddenly, Maya was nervous. This was it, Riley might be about to say everything she’d been waiting for, but she was panicking that it wouldn’t be enough. If Riley’s words weren’t enough, if this apology didn’t make a difference, it became real that Maya might never be able to get past her anger at the situation. Or past her anger at Riley.

 

“Promise me, Peaches,” she begged. “No interruptions.”

 

After a few more seconds that were accompanied with deep breaths, Maya just nodded and leaned forward, pressing herself against the table. "I'll promise, but this better be good, Matthews.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split a really long chapter into 2 chapters, so if the ending seemed abrupt, now you know why.   
> Next chapter: the attempt at an apology.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	14. pt. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the apology be enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify to those of you who hate Riley right now:   
> My view of it is, people come to terms with their sexuality differently. Riley has always been confused about how she feels for Maya and why she feels the way she feels. Sometimes, coming out is truly messy. For some people, they do it early and it's simple, others it's the hardest thing to accept. Coming out can be the hardest thing, but   
> sometimes accepting you're not straight in the first place can be. 
> 
> In order to be confident and come out, you need to accept yourself and I feel like that's what Riley's been working on. She's getting there.

**Previously:**

_Suddenly, Maya was nervous. This was it, Riley might be about to say everything she’d been waiting for, but she was panicking that it wouldn’t be enough._

 

_“Promise me, Peaches,” she begged. “No interruptions.”_

 

_After a few more seconds that were accompanied with deep breaths, Maya just nodded and leaned forward, pressing herself against the table. "I'll promise, but this better be good, Matthews.”_

* * *

 

It was silent for a few seconds before Riley intertwined her fingers together, sat up straighter as if she was confident, then looked anywhere but at Maya.

 

“When you told me about… you know, what you told me the beginning of our junior year-“

 

“That I was gay?” Maya huffed, still not sure if anything Riley said would be good enough at this point.

 

“ _Maya_ ,” she hissed. “You promised.”

 

She held her hands up, realizing how serious Riley was about this. The girl across from her looked more guilt ridden and ashamed than she’d ever seen her. For the first time she saw her hands tremble with anxiety.

 

“When you told me about how you felt about girls – about _me_ ,” she began again, “I was so happy. I – I didn’t fully process what that meant for us, but it was like you gave me a solution that I’d been waiting for. It was like I was searching for a reason why I valued you so much more than Lucas, why I always had, then you mentioned that you were… gay and… in love, and it was like – like everything in my life suddenly made sense. The pieces of this puzzle finally fit together after so long of me not even knowing they were jumbled. That’s why I was so ecstatic when you told me, I was – it was like I found out the key to being happy, and the key was you. It was always you, and it just hit me like a brick when you brought it up.”

Riley took a deep breath, closing her eyes before opening them and beginning a stare with Maya. “I fully intended to follow through when I told you I’d break up with Lucas, that we could be together and take on the whole world. But then, I saw Lucas and I couldn’t. It wasn’t that I loved him more than you, but it just hit me how different life would be if I left him for you – for a girl. It would make things in my life messy and complicated and so many people wouldn’t like me just because I would have this label of being gay.

"I saw Lucas and... I don't know. I don’t know what happened. I began listing why I was in love with him to myself, like I was trying to prove that he was the one. And, somewhere along the line I realized that me admitting that what you and I had – I don’t know if it’s had or have at this point – was something special would destroy me. My whole life all I wanted was for everyone to like me. I just wanted to be Riley and make everyone happy, but this would change that. This would make some people at school give me dirty looks for doing nothing wrong. I – at the time, as stupid as it was, that was a terrifying concept to me.

"I felt like I couldn’t handle all that, so…” she trailed off, her voice becoming unsteady. “So, I thoroughly convinced myself that I was sixteen and too young to proclaim that I was gay. I kept thinking that I couldn’t be, because I liked boys. My entire life, I’ve been attracted to men and only men. Except for you. I was sixteen and didn’t know how to handle feeling that way about you,” she sighed, looking down at her hands for a moment. “To be honest, I still don’t know how to handle that most days.”

 

Maya fought to stay in her seat. She didn’t want to hold Riley’s hand, she wanted to stand firm and be mad at how unfair Riley had been, but her body wasn’t listening. She was getting up before she could tell herself to sit back down, switching over to share the same side of the booth as Riley. She ignored the confused glance she received as she shuffled over, letting Maya wrap an arm around her shoulder.

 

“Thank you,” Riley whispered, surprised at the comforting embrace, trying to decipher what that meant while also trying to focus on how to get out the rest of her apology without falling apart.

“I planned to give you an explanation. I was going to tell you it’d be better if we stayed friends, nothing more, nothing less, but then… you literally sweep me off my feet every time I see you,” she said it as if it was the most enchanting, yet sad thing that ever happened to her. “Not even just after you told me, too. I began looking back and it was like I just realized how every single day since I met you you swept me off my feet. You made me feel at home, you made me feel like I was the most important and unique girl out there, in the entire universe, like I was invincible. You were so selfless with me, all the time. You pushed me onto Lucas’s lap, you encouraged me to date him, and when I laid in bed that night, trying to tell myself how happy I was with Lucas and with being straight and with being solely best friends with you, I suddenly could look back and realize the signs.

"I don’t think either of us understood what you pushing me towards Lucas despite your fear of giving me away meant, we were so young at the time, but as a sophomore in high school it was so easy to see. You were always selfless with me, Maya. You always listened to me – and I mean really listened, with your whole heart, as if you were going to take a test on the material the next day. You… It took my breath away just thinking about you all of the sudden and by the time I walked through the doors the next day, that Wednesday I knew that I could never go back to seeing you as _just_ my best friend. It was all or nothing. I was either madly in love with you or I didn’t know you at all. And I really did think that it was impossible to really be able to claim I was gay or bi, or whatever the hell I am, at sixteen. I thought it was all in my head and that I was living in Rileytown, this magical, fairy tale world. I didn’t think…”

 

She stopped, but Maya still didn’t speak. She didn’t know if it was over, but if Riley somehow had more to say, more to offer that would make sense of what happened in high school, she wanted to hear it. She felt like she was suddenly getting this explanation she’d been holding her breath for. It was an explanation that she'd almost died from lack of oxygen for. She was in Mr. Matthews class all over again, listening to a lesson and understanding this major event that had happened so long ago and giving it a whole new meaning.

 

“To this day, I hate myself for it, but I _had_ to cut you out. Or at the time I thought I did. There was no other way to not be in love with you. So, that began the chapter that I still seem to be on, where the plot is just me blindly running from something that I know is there and stronger than ever.”

 

The waitress came back, placing food in front of them. They smiled politely, but neither one made an effort to start eating.

 

“I knew that you didn’t believe I was straight. From the second I briefly told you that I didn’t feel the same and wasn’t gay, that look you gave me stuck with me. And I knew you were hurt, but it was like I was so worried when I saw your disbelief of the fact that I could possibly be straight… it was like I had to convince you that what I said when you first told me wasn’t true and that I was so normal, just like everyone else in the world and in love with a boy. That’s when I got over my fear of PDA, that’s when I began making sure Lucas was always around when you were around, that’s why I could never be alone with you. And I know it’s the shittiest excuse to exist for why I did what I did, but I was scared you’d tell everyone about what I said or how you thought I wasn’t straight. I wasn’t ready for everyone to know what happened – maybe I’m still not, I don’t know. All I know is that I’m obsessed with you, but you also scare the shit out of me by making me feel things I thought I’d never have to feel again once I accepted that you'd left.”

 

“I would have respected that, Riley. I wouldn’t have pushed you to be gay and I wouldn’t have told a soul about any of that. You didn’t need to pull away.”

 

“I know. Trust me, I knew that. I wish I didn’t create that space. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have. And it only made it worse knowing that even if I ran back to you with my tail between my legs and an apology, you’d have welcomed me with open arms. Because you are literally perfect, Maya. You don’t think you are, especially in high school you didn't, I know that you thought you were dark and flawed and damaged, but your entire existence is just so perfect and always has been. And the one time I allowed myself to give into you, to spend time alone with solely you after you told me, prom night happened. I get that you don’t remember that night, but I do. I remember it vividly and it set me on fire in the very best way, even though it was just innocent making out. I woke up next to you a few hours later, with your arms around me, your short ass body holding my scrawny one, and it made me so happy. For days after that I realized what a beautiful place the world could be.”

Riley subtly reached down in the booth, grabbing the hand of the arm that was wrapped around her, interlacing their fingers like they’d innocently done at the beginning of high school.

“I graduated high school and went to college with Smackle and… it was like I was lost. All I wanted was to meet another Maya Hunter, to start over, to do everything differently. And I was still hopelessly telling myself that I was straight and too young to know how it felt to be in love with a girl – as if it's so different than being in love with a boy – and I realized how much you played a part in my life. Even looking back at the last two years of high school, when I treated you so awful, I realized how you were still there. You never fully left my life. Ever.

Riley squeezed the words out with joy and brutal turmoil. "I didn’t know how much reassurance and comfort I had from seeing you in the hallways at school or watching you avoid my gazes at coffee shops with the other four there. At graduation, I thought I’d be relieved to finally be away from this thing we had, this huge secret that happened, all the tension between us.

"But college made things even worse somehow. I was constantly feeling empty and on holidays it’d be better, so I attributed that to mean that I really loved Lucas after all, but… I suddenly had no idea who I was unless I was home. And then, after sophomore year, we were older and Lucas always wanted more quality time together, so we hung out less as a big group and instead just did things with just the two of us. It took two weeks that summer until I felt like my entire being was gone. I found myself being so disappointed because for some reason that summer had felt so unsatisfactory so far. And, everything I was blocking out came back. It hit me that it was supposed to be you.”

 

Maya found her heart warming and breaking to that confession. That was two whole years ago, yet there they were, in a Chinese restaurant, completely unsure what their friendship meant – or if they even still had one.

 

“I realized that I was hiding from the truth that had been screaming at me for four years, since the beginning of junior year. Everything came back, but this time it wouldn’t leave. I kept trying to make my list of why I was so in love with Lucas again, but it wasn’t his blonde hair that I thought about anymore. It wasn’t _his_ bright eyes anymore. It was yours. And it was like this huge identity crisis I’d had since starting college, the reason I was constantly trying to change everything about me on the inside and out, was solved by the idea that I was still who I was. I was still the sixteen-year-old who was so in love with someone that wasn’t fitting into the social norm. Then, I realized for the first time that I was twenty. I wasn’t sixteen, I wasn’t too young, I knew fully what love was. I had to stop being afraid to get it.”

She laughed a little, shaking her head. “But, I was still Riley, so of course I had to call Zay and Farkle to have a deep philosophical talk with them about the components, signs and physical sensations of true love. Then, I broke up with Lucas, prepared my speech and… I thought it would all be fixed. When you agreed to meet me at the dock, I was so relieved because I thought my life problems were finally going to be solved. But when we there I couldn’t tell you. Seeing you there, smoking a cigarette and being this completely different person freaked me out and I just – I worried that if I told you everything it wouldn’t matter anymore. It seemed easier to not tell you than the picture I had of getting rejected, so I backed out and just… tried to play it of as me wanting to be friends, I guess.”

 

“I wish you told me,” Maya found herself whispering.

 

Riley just sighed. “Me too. But you need to know that I am sorry, Maya. If I could apologize every second for the next trillion years, I would. I know I can't make up for high school - I'll never be able to take that back - but I never meant to hurt you so much and had no idea how much it effected you."

 

It was silent for minutes before Maya spoke up again. At first she hadn’t been sure if Riley was done, then she had to gather her thoughts. “Am I allowed to talk again yet?”

 

“I don’t know if I want to know what you have to say.”

 

“Well, I have to say I’m hungry, so I’m switching sides again,” she laughed, swiftly switching back to her original side of the booth and pulling the food closer to her. She put it in her mouth, smiling at Riley, who clearly had no idea what this meant. “The chicken is good.”

 

Riley was at a loss and Maya had to hold herself back from smirking at this change of power.

 

“Try it.”

 

The girl across from her hesitantly tried it and just nodded along. She didn’t comment on it and the vertically challenged girl knew she was still nervous about what Maya’s response would be.

 

“So,” Maya dragged off, deciding that maybe they’d played enough mind games with each other for the day.

 

Riley laughed, catching on to the fact that Maya was enjoying this new power. “Yes, Peaches?”

 

She didn’t look up from the food that she still claimed was so good, keeping her voice as casual as she could without sounding excited. “Where’s our new apartment?”

 

Riley kept her confident demeanor, continuing to play the charade that she had been positive all along that Maya would come around. Maya knew for a fact that that hadn’t been the case less than a minute ago, but she let her act like it was. The blonde had done plenty of speeches in their friendship, but that was the first monologue of Riley’s life and left Riley beyond the point of being able to claim she wasn’t nervous. Instead of answering, Riley picked her phone up off the table and showed her pictures of the place she’d viewed three days prior.

 

“I’ll admit, this does actually look nice,” Maya gave in. “Show me in person. I’ll highly consider it.”

 

“Really?” Riley asked, not even able to hide her complete surprise anymore.

 

“Well, your idiot friends broke every lock on my door, so I’m no longer safe in my shady neighborhood,” she explained it away.

 

Riley smirked, nodding her head. “Right, right, and moving is much more practical than replacing locks.”

 

“I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Maya laughed. Then, her face grew a little more serious. “We wouldn’t have a bay window though.”

 

Riley did her rare, yet still noticeably cute, habit of biting down on her lip. “Maybe we don’t need bay windows anymore, Peaches.”

 

“No bay windows?” Maya raised her eyebrows in surprise. “But those are our safe places.”

 

“But, we’re always safe now,” Riley’s voice was once again simple, but this time timid, as if she was afraid Maya would shut down that statement. “Together, me and you, Riley and Maya… We’re the safest we can be when we’re together. Bay windows protected as kids, but we’ve been through a lot more now. We’re stronger, even this fight proved that. And, yeah, bay windows will probably always be safe and memorable and special to us, but we don’t need them like we used to. I don’t need bay windows to feel secure when I talk to you about serious subjects anymore. Maybe I never did. The way you look at me when I have something serious to say – _that’s_ what makes me feel safe. I don’t need a bay window for that.”

 

Maya thought that over, nodding her head. Riley smiled at the sign of her agreeing. The blonde looked up at her with an evident smirk. “You thought over that reasoning pretty good, huh?”

 

“I am in love with this apartment and I don’t want to search for a new one. Do you know how few apartments have bay windows? That would be impossible”

 

“I do, Riley,” she laughed. “You forgot that I have one.”

 

“Well, your apartment scares me and I refuse to live there,” Riley shot out blankly. “I’ll take you to see the place tomorrow. I have an appointment already.”

 

“You were that confident that this dinner would go well?”

 

Riley had on her genuine smile again, all nervousness once again gone. “I was just hoping. If it went badly I planned to just see it again anyway and I’d just write down notes of why we should finally be roommates. I need someone to share rent with and you’re my first pick. Congratulations.”

 

“Is that the new title, then?” Maya asked.

 

Riley’s expression stayed happy, but nervousness engulfed her appearance.

 

“Don’t get mad,” she began. “But, I’m not ready to fully jump into a relationship. Maybe soon, but… not yet.”

 

“That’s fine, Pumpkin,” Maya casually agreed with a smile, watching Riley’s entire body relax. “It’s too soon to promise forevers or hastily rush into something just because we regret not doing it in high school. I don’t want to mess our friendship up just because we have these expectations of where we could have been if we hadn’t spent time apart, especially when you aren’t ready to come out. I’ve gone out with girls in the closet and it’s hard, Riles. Let’s take our time, let you get comfortable with it all, let me do whatever I need to do. We have our whole lives, right? There’s plenty of time to take things slow.”

 

Maya smiled when Riley’s nervousness dissipated and was replaced by the quirky, carefree attitude that had somehow convinced Maya to eat dinner with someone she could barely look at.

 

“Our friendship comes before anything,” Riley promised her. “Anything in the world.”

 

“Even Smackle?” Maya smirked.

 

Riley went into her fits of giggles, nodding her head. “Yeah. Just don’t tell her that.”

 

“I’m great at keeping secrets,” Maya smiled mischievously.

 

“I know you are. That’s why I trust you. With everything. Even this. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so exposed though.”

 

“I like you being transparent. It’s nice. Besides, it’s always been easy with you. It’s easy to trust you,” Maya grinned. Then, she laughed a little to herself, giving Riley a teasing smile. “Then again, I hear it’s pretty easy for most people to trust you, right? I mean, hell, the majority of America trusts Jesus Christ.”

 


	15. pt. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welcome to a happy chapter.

Things were better than they had ever been. Maybe even better than their childhood days. Maya glorified the days of middle and early high school quite a lot, so she had accepted that she’d never feel as good as she did then, but since her and Riley had talked – really and truly talked – things were easier. 

 

As much of a risk as it still was, Maya agreed to be roommates. Half of it was because she viewed it as a grand opportunity to legally tie Riley to her. Sharing a lease would force them to have a connection. She realized no matter how mad her or Riley got, she wanted to keep a tie to her forever and a legal bind of them sharing an address for at least twelve months was a perfect opportunity.

 

Plus she wouldn’t exactly mind ditching her current apartment. It had provided Riley and Maya brief privacy at times, but having a home together sounded like a much better deal. And she wouldn’t miss the constant paranoia of being murdered when she walked home late at night. She hadn't signed a lease, they were just happy someone wanted to live there, so it was just simple renting. There was no good reason to stay. Also, Smackle had yet to fix her five locks and it had now been four weeks since the incident, four weeks of Maya waiting to be robbed.

 

“This is the last weekend of calling my home home,” Riley announced in amazement on Maya’s bed. “Monday I begin the move in process after work. It’s suddenly hitting me.”

 

“That you’re moving in with me?”

 

“No, that I’m never gonna live with my parents again,” she mused. 

 

Maya laughed a little, not feeling too hurt by her dismissal. “I can’t tell if you’re sad or excited about that.”

 

“Both, I guess,” she shrugged. “My parents are planning this big family dinner Sunday. They’re making it a very big deal about how it’s gonna be the last one with all of us living together.”

 

“Yeah, they probably figured you’d never leave when you moved back in after college,” she teased. “Having a twenty-two year old daughter moving back in is always a bad sign.”

 

“Crack your jokes about how late I am to leave the nest,” she rolled her eyes, her words coming out dryly. “At least I wasn’t so desperate to leave home that I’d put my life in danger by living _here_.”

 

“You come here almost every night. I hate to break it to you, but your life is very well in danger,” Maya laughed, watching Riley’s smug face falter when she didn’t have a comeback.

 

“Okay, Maya Hunter,” Riley practically sang. She looked smug, which Maya knew meant that a challenge was brewing. “I have the final test of our friendship.”

 

"I thought that fight was our final test."

 

Riley just shook her head firmly. "No, no, no.  _This_ is our final test."

 

“Let’s hear it,” Maya sighed happily, simply embracing the fact that they were so close again with neither of them holding anything back.

 

Riley looked up from Maya’s lap, where her head had been peacefully lying for the past half hour. “I don’t think you’ll pass.”

 

“You doubt me a lot, don’t forget that,” she rolled her eyes. “I’ve passed every test so far, haven’t I?”

 

“Yes, but this one is different,” she proclaimed. She dropped the challenging tone, beginning to laugh light-heartedly again. “Actually, I won’t really care if you fail this one. I’m just curious.”

 

“What is your little mind wondering about now?” Maya mused.

 

Riley sat up for this, looking Maya in the eye. “Do you still have your ring?” 

 

“Of course,” she said instantaneously, not missing a beat.

 

Riley crossed her arm, sensing a lie. “You don’t even know what ring I’m talking about.”

 

“There’s only one ring you would be,” she shot back.

 

She raised her eyebrows quizzically, still not believing that Maya would actually remember. “And you have it? This ring?”

 

Maya looked at her. She had stopped being embarrassed about admitting to Riley how she had been keeping these memories close by after their Chinese talk two weeks ago. “Yeah, I keep it in my purse.”

 

“Really?” she asked skeptically.

 

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “It was in my backpack in college, but I’m a big kid now and use a purse. It’s gross.”

 

“Boo hoo, the poor artist who is now an adult,” Riley taunted. 

 

Maya lifted her chin up a little, glaring at her. “You’re rainbows and sunshine. Dry humor is my thing.” They were silent for a moment before Maya furrowed her eyebrows, realizing Riley never answered. “Where’s your ring?”

 

“Mine is deeply hidden,” Riley admitted. “But don’t worry, it’s in a very safe spot. I think.”

 

“Sounds sketchy,” Maya laughed a little. “You sure about that story?”

 

Riley’s cheeks went red and Maya was suddenly heavily intrigued. Where the hell would she store a tiny ass ring? She'd figured Riley would have just tossed it in the trash or put it in one of the keepsake boxes that she seemed to love.

 

“Care to share your hiding place? I told you mine.”

 

“I can do you one better and show you," Riley smiled mischievously, still not giving out any of the details.

 

Maya’s head shot up. She tilted her head. “I thought you didn’t want your parents to know we were friends again?”

 

“I don’t. It’s not hidden at my house.”

 

She smiled at the enigma this girl had become within the past thirty seconds. “Then where exactly is it?”

 

“Field trip time?” Riley offered. 

 

“I don’t like surprises.”

 

“This isn’t a surprise, it’s a mystery,” she argued.

 

Maya had nothing to say to that, so she agreed. She got up, letting Riley drag her through the darkness of the city at night. They hopped on a subway, getting off across town. Riley was clearly quite confident in where she was going, yet still would give no hints as to where their destination was. 

 

“Riley, where are you taking me?” Maya laughed as they began to head down a residential street.

 

“Stop groaning, we’re almost there.”

 

“I’m not groaning,” she mumbled, suddenly annoyed due to the accusation.

 

Riley didn’t reply, allowing them to walk in silence before they stopped in front of a small house. “Here we are.”

 

“Who’s house is this?” Maya furrowed her eyebrows. “Where are we?”

 

“Knock on the door,” Riley stepped back. Maya went to ring the doorbell, but Riley grabbed her wrist before her finger reached the button. "I said  _knock_ , Peaches."

 

It was hard to intimidate her, but at that moment Maya definitely felt intimidated. “You knock!” 

 

“Nothing bad will happen,” she grinned, a glint in her eye. “Knock on the door. It's a piece of wood, are you really scared of a piece of wood?”

 

She sighed, giving in and doing as she was told. They heard shuffling on the other side of the door before it swung open to a thin blonde woman.

 

“Who are – oh, hey, Riley!” a woman greeted cheerily when she saw the figure behind Maya. “You haven’t been by in a while.”

 

“Hey, Abs. Is your husband home?”

 

“Yeah, come in. He’s in the backyard with Chandler Bing. He’ll be in any minute.”

 

Riley nudged Maya, who was still standing in front of her, signaling for her to enter the house. “Where are we?” 

 

“You’ll find out when he comes in,” Riley insisted on upholding the mystery. 

 

“Okay, well can I know who Chandler Bing is?” 

 

“A cocker spaniel,” she laughed.

 

Maya watched as ‘Abs’ and Riley exchanged a look. She shrugged. As long as they both knew what a stupid name that was for a dog she wouldn’t bring it up.

 

“Who’s this?”

 

“Right, I forgot you haven’t met her! Maya, this is Abby. Abby, Maya.”

 

“Is this the same Maya as your Maya?” Abby asked Riley quietly. 

 

Maya smirked, expecting Riley to be embarrassed, but once again she surprised her by not seeming phased. “Yup. Maya Hunter, in the flesh.”

 

“Does he know she’s back?”

 

“It’s been kept lowkey,” Riley shrugged off the question. “He’ll find out now, right?”

 

“Yeah,” she smiled along at that, “I guess he will. I’ll go see what the hold up is.”

 

Abby turned around, going towards the back door. She walked outside, shooting the two girls in her kitchen a sly look behind her. She shut the door, once again leaving Maya and Riley alone for a moment.

 

“Do you know who Abby is yet?”

 

“No,” she rolled her eyes. “Do you plan on sharing?”

 

“Just be patient, would you? Jesus, it’s only a few more minutes.”

 

Maya bit back a laugh at her own joke. “You’re Jesus, I’m Maya.”

 

That left Riley laughing as Maya’s jaw dropped when Abby walked back in.

 

“Josh,” Maya breathed out, her face breaking into a smile at the boy she had once innocently thought she’d had a crush on.

 

“ _Riley_ ,” he ignored her, turning straight to his niece. For someone who looked like he saw a ghost he sure did seem rather excited. “Riley, are you aware Maya is next to you?”

 

“I am, Uncle Josh,” she laughed, stealing a glance and – shockingly – a wink at Maya. She turned to her uncle again with a smirk. “We come with business. I’m here to obtain my ring.”

 

“You do realize it’s ten-thirty at night.”

 

“You’re up,” she stated the obvious.

 

“What if you woke Jackson up?”

 

“I’m pretty sure Jackson never sleeps, so don’t act like you and Abby have this bedtime routine you’ve completed,” Riley shot back. “Besides, I knocked.”

 

He leaned against the door frame with a grin spread across his face. Maya used to think she was in love with that stupid grin. She scoffed at the thought now. She was in love with him purely because he was the Matthew that was more socially acceptable for her to love. She was one naïve fourteen-year-old.

 

“I’ll go get the ring, but I’m not getting drunk with you tonight.”

 

Maya raised her eyebrows at that. Josh scurried off to a room and the blonde turned to her accomplice. She was certain that Riley had sworn she didn’t drink at all when she was with everyone at the bar. “You get drunk with him on a regular basis, do you?”

 

“She is quite the bad influence,” Josh confirmed, coming out seconds later with a tiny band between his thumb and forefinger. “Does this mean you two are in love again, or is the visit for a sake of having a trip down memory lane?”

 

“ _Goodnight_ , Uncle Josh,” Riley said sharply, suddenly dragging Maya out of the apartment.

 

But she’d still heard it. Maya had heard that crystal clear. And Riley’s blush was confirmation that she’d definitely heard that correctly.

 

“I think you failed at the straight charade with him,” she smirked. 

 

Riley didn’t look at her, but she put on goofy smile to herself. “I didn’t fail, I drunkenly confessed to him a couple years ago.”

 

“What part?” Maya bit back a smile. 

 

She couldn’t tell how comfortable Riley was with Josh knowing whatever part of it he knew, but she found the situation hilarious. Out of all the people, Josh was the one that the truth had come out to. Despite finding that incredibly ironic, for Riley’s sake, she stifled her laugh.

 

To her surprise, once again, Riley faced her with the utmost confidence. “Everything. Start to end. It was a long night and a longer morning when I was sober.”

 

Maya analyzed her. She seemed like she was telling the truth, but she’d also seen the panicked version of Riley on the sidewalk at the beginning of summer. She remembered how heavily she guarded this secret. “No, I’m serious.”

 

“Me too,” she laughed, allowing Maya to let out her laugh as well. “Why do you think I don’t drink?”

 

“Because, you’re the innocent Riley Matthews.”

 

“Wrong,” she clicked her tongue. “I don’t drink due to the fact that a week after I saw you on the dock I went over to Josh’s, got completely wasted and cried to him the entire night. Everything came out. I told him how in love with you I was, how we were over when we never even began and eventually he took my ring because every time I saw it I’d just start bawling and retelling my stories of woe about how I was a damsel in distress. I woke up mortified, we had a very deep talk – deeper than I thought Josh was capable of going – and I vowed never to get drunk ever again in my entire life because I lose my tight lips and everything comes pouring out. I still get drunk with Josh because there’s no bigger secret than what he already knows.”

 

Well, that was a story that Maya hadn’t seen coming. She continued to analyze her. “And you’re completely fine that he knows?”

 

“I wasn’t at first, but it’s been two years. If he hasn’t told anyone yet, I think I’m in the clear.”

 

“Alright,” she practically sang, but toned down her reaction when she noticed Riley laughing at how happy she suddenly was. She couldn’t help it. It made her happy that Josh knew. It made the past seem more real knowing Riley had told somebody else. “How’d you know he’d keep the ring?”

 

“Sober Riley got very pissed that he wouldn’t give it back the next morning,” she grimaced at the memory. “There was a lot of yelling. He said he’d give it back to me when you came back, I said I wanted it back at the time because you might never come back, he said to trust him and he’d save it. Honestly, I had no idea if he would, this was a test for him even more than it was for you.” She looked down at the ring that had been missing from her finger. “I guess he passed. I’m shocked he found it so quickly, though, I’m very surprised.”

 

“I’d say he definitely passed,” Maya laughed. “He’s also a psychic, so he has that going for him. He knew I’d come back all that time ago.”

 

“Maya, we all know I’m too irresistible for you to leave alone for too long.”

 

She didn’t know if Riley knew how deeply those words held true. She was going to comment on it, but Riley started talking before she thought of a decent response.

 

“Ring power,” Riley held up her hand.

 

Maya shook her head with an unimpressed expression laid out across her face. “I am no longer twelve. I refuse to do that.”

 

“Ring power, Maya,” she repeated sternly, keeping her hand up in the air.

 

Maya still stood there, staring between Riley’s face and her upheld hand. 

 

“Peaches!” she dug out the pet names. “I swear to God, if you don’t participate in this we are done for real. Ring power!” 

 

“You're annoying,” she muttered. But, nonetheless, she raised her hand with a smile. “Ring power.” Maya let out a deep sigh, leaving Riley confused until she spoke. “I can’t believe I’m doing this, but… Thunder.” 

 

The smile that lit up Riley’s face was well worth the cringey reenactment as Riley clasped her hand over Maya’s. “Lightning.”

 

“Good, now we are _never_ doing that again,” she dropped her enthusiasm and separating their hands again. “Once again, we aren’t twelve anymore.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Riley laughed. She looked to Maya expectantly. “C’mon. I have plans.”

 

“And I’m holding you up?” the blonde scoffed. “I’m not forcing you to stay with me.”

 

“For _us_ ,” she clarified. “I have plans for us tonight, Peaches.”

 

“I don’t know if I like the sound of that,” Maya muttered. “It’s almost eleven.”

 

Riley just smiled at her, reassuring her that it would be fun. After all, it had to be. Time with Riley was always worthwhile. 

 

“Alright,” she gave in. “What are we doing?”

 

“We’re watching a rom com and I’m baking you brownies and it’ll be a cute little stay-at-home date,” Riley held her head high as if it was the most casual thing in the world for her to say.

 

“Brownies or pot brownies?” Maya quirked an eyebrow, smirking a little. She attempted to ignore the word date, knowing if she dwelled on it she’d be terrible at hiding how happy that made her.

 

“You’re the bad influence, not me,” she quipped. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to be high and miss our  _date_.”

 

“I get it, it’s a date,” she gave in, laughing with her eyes lighting up at the fact that it wasn’t in her head. This was Riley’s version of an actual date. It was somewhat lame, but Maya had agreed to take it slowly. This was a step in the right direction.

 

Riley smiled at her excited expression, knowing the purpose of the night was made known.

 

“Although, I am surprised you know how to cook food other than pancakes,” Maya noted.

 

“I’m a world renowned chef,” Riley played along, going down and intertwining their hands as they stepped back onto the subway. She watched Maya’s face light up at the gesture, despite Maya’s best efforts to hide her bliss.

 

Maya was surprised. Usually Riley would only agree to hold hands if they were behind the door of her apartment. Half of her had figured Riley would have friend-zoned her by now, but instead she was noticing how much Riley had been trying to change these past couple of weeks. She knew it must not be easy for her to try to accept who she was, her sexuality, especially after denying it for so long, but she appreciated the effort. The small changes made her ecstatic. It gave her hope and she was endlessly praying that she wasn’t a sucker.

 

Things were different in the very best way. She was becoming confident that she really could get her Happily Ever After, the one Riley had promised her at the beginning of their junior year of high school.

 

“Alright, Riles, woo me over with baked goods,” she teased as they walked into the apartment with a box of brownie mix they’d picked up on the way back. 

 

It had been decided by then that Riley already had.  Consider Maya Hunter wooed. No cooking necessary.


	16. pt. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stay-at-home date night with lots of fluff and what we've all been waiting for.

Maya watched as Riley mixed batter. All in all, Maya had put zero effort into helping her, which Riley was quick to point out. 

 

“I never claimed I would,” she retorted. “You’re attempting to woo me, remember?”

 

Riley couldn’t argue that much, eventually beginning to evenly distribute the dark brown batter into the square pan. She discarded the mixing bowl into the sink, which Maya was quick to take back out of it. She grabbed a spoon, going to sit at the table.

 

When Riley turned around she shook her head in disapproval. “You’re going to die. That batter has raw eggs.”

 

“I’ll die while I’m with my favorite person in the world,” Maya smiled cheekily. When Riley rolled her eyes she laughed, tilting the bowl towards this new confident version of Riley she was getting to know. “When has anyone died from this? Try it. It’ll be worth death.”

 

“I know how it tastes,” she declined. When Maya didn’t take the bowl away from her face she sighed, slipping her finger along the edge of the bowl and collecting batter on her finger. She brought it to her mouth and scowled at the blonde. “It _is_ good, but we’re still both gonna die now.”

 

She went over to Maya’s microwave, trying to tamper with the buttons. 

 

“What are you doing?” Maya inquired. 

 

“I’m trying to figure out how to set a timer.”

 

She laughed, saving Riley from the trouble of trying to figure it out. It probably didn't even have a timer function that actually worked. “Use your phone. That microwave is useless."

 

Riley subjected to that idea, pulling out her phone and quickly setting the timer. She then left the kitchen, leaving Maya to frown. 

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“You’re supposed to follow,” she called back coyly. 

 

Overall, Maya had no idea who this person in her apartment with her was. She knew Riley had been slowly gaining courage and accepting herself, but tonight was like this enormous surge. Riley seemed genuinely happy again and completely comfortable. She seemed like she was content with her life, which made Maya thrilled, but a little thrown off.

 

She chuckled at Riley’s subtlety, putting down the batter and following her. Which said a lot, because she wouldn’t have put down that batter for too many people.

 

Riley ended up on Maya’s bed again, laying down on the left side – the side that had quickly become hers over their numerous sleepovers and late nights.

 

“What are you up to, Matthews?” Maya mused. 

 

Riley closed her eyes, her expression peaceful. Maya was happy to just watch her lay there. 

 

“You’re supposed to come lay next to me,” Riley found herself getting out, seemingly annoyed that she had to direct her again. 

 

“Yes, because you’ve been so clear with your plans tonight,” Maya found herself shooting back.

 

Riley still had her eyes closed, just patting that spot beside her. The blonde gave in, going to lay on her back next to the girl who's dark brown hair was sprawled out across the pillows. 

 

“How much do you trust me?” Riley asked after a solid minute, breaking Maya’s silent curiosity. 

 

“I trust you with everything, but I have no idea what you’re up to.”

 

She finally opened her brown eyes, turning her head to look at the girl beside her. “I’m going to do something,” she slowly began, “and I need you to stay very still.”

 

Maya crinkled her nose, looking beside her curiously. “That does not sound like a regular request.”

 

“Just do it.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Just, promise me?”

 

Maya looked at her skeptically, still adorning that smirk from earlier. Riley wondered if she ever took it off these days. “You aren’t gonna kill me, right?”

 

Riley let out a fake gasp, her hand flying to her heart. “I would never! I leave the killing up to you, Peaches.”

 

“Wise choice,” she snorted a little. 

 

“I’m serious, though,” Riley’s playfulness faded. “Stay still. Okay? And no running.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Maya was suddenly concerned. “What did you do, Riley?” 

 

“Stop being difficult,” Riley ordered. She couldn’t say that she hadn’t expected Maya’s confusion. She ignored it and just held out her pinky. “No running?”

 

“I don’t even know what we’re doing,” Maya whined. She saw Riley’s hopeful expression and gave in, letting out a sigh. Looking into those brown eyes… she trusted them more than anything. So, while she should be concerned at the blind promise, she agreed, lacing their pinkies together. “No running.”

 

“Okay, then,” she took a deep breath, gathering her confidence again. 

 

Maya smiled at the sight of the exterior of certainty being broken and replaced by Riley feeling awkward again. She was used to this version of Riley, the awkward and quirky version. It was the girl she grew up with and she wouldn't change that for a second.

 

Then, she froze, realizing Riley was doing it, she was doing what Maya had literally dreamed about in high school. This was real life and Riley was doing it.

 

The blonde couldn’t help but hold a hand to Riley’s chest, pausing her from continuing to lean in closer. “Riley, are you sure you want-“

 

“ _Maya_ ,” she hissed, clearly annoyed that she was ruining their moment. “I’m sure.”

 

She dropped her hand again and let it happen. 

 

What she had unknowingly been waiting for all the days they’d spent apart happened, their lips colliding, Riley’s hand placing itself softly on one side of Maya’s cheek while the other held her up. Maya didn’t think it was possible, but Riley’s lips tasted even better than she had imagined. They were soft and timid. Then, as if Riley gained comfort with the situation, she pressed harder, firmer. 

 

 _Holy shit_.

 

She didn’t think, though. She was so engrossed at how absolutely wrong every other kiss she’d ever had felt compared to this. It was like she was a teenager again, getting giddy over an innocent kiss. Usually, she at least needed groping to be lit on fire like this. 

 

As much as she didn’t want to, as much as she wanted to deepen the kiss and see how far she could push Riley Matthews, the girl of her dreams, she pulled away. She searched those innocent eyes, and for once, Riley let her try to glimpse into what she was feeling physically. She had a smile plastered on her face and Maya recognized it as The Rare Smile. 

 

Riley smiled a lot and Maya labeled them in high school. She completely forgot about how she had a name for them all, but she remembered this one. She called it The Rare Smile. The one that she had only seen a few times. She remembered she had gotten so fucking jealous of Lucas in high school, because she’d given it to him a few times when Maya had thought for so long it was reserved for her. 

 

But, maybe it was reserved for her, because that smile was even more out of this world than usual. Granted, that could be because Maya hadn’t seen it in years, but she was almost positive that it was more rare than it had ever been right there, in the dimly lit bedroom.

 

“Are you sure about all this, Riles?” Maya repeated cautiously. 

 

She just nodded, looking as angelic as ever. “I’ve been sure. You have no idea how long I’ve been trying to follow through and do this.”

 

Maya’s blue eyes sparkled. They could light up the Manhattan skyline if they had to, she was so happy. She didn’t think it was possible to feel this happy. She leaned in, connecting to the one person who knew her inside and out, better than anyone.

 

This time, Riley pulled away. She had a smirk on her face that Maya realized must have been the bedroom smirk as she teased her. “Are _you_ ready, Maya?”

 

“Shut up,” she laughed against Riley’s lips.

 

They didn’t pull away after that. Neither of them had a reason to, because for the first time in a long time, things felt like they were how they were always supposed to be. This was their destiny, even if it had taken a while to get here, it was where they were meant to be. They kept getting further into it, silently committing to each other more and more.

 

The timer eventually went off and Riley pulled away with a groan, looking into the pure blue eyes she'd realized felt like home. “How badly do you want these brownies?”

 

“Your plan was poorly thought out,” Maya couldn’t help but taunt. She looked back at Riley, who was still hovering above her. She let out a smile, shaking her head. “Let them burn. I want to enjoy this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda trying to just get the rest posted soon. It's slowly coming to an end. There's about 5 chapters left plus a possible epilogue?? The rest is fluff and them coming out as a couple mainly, so if that's what you're into, stay tuned!
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	17. pt. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya goes over to the Matthews household for the first time in way too long.

_Riley: Come over_. 

 

Maya picked up her phone beside her, squinting her eyes at how absolutely unclear that message was.

 

_Maya: Where are you?_

 

Once again, she got her reply within seconds.

 

_Riley: Home._

 

Considering that Maya’s apartment had been Riley’s practical home for the past few weeks and their shared apartment wasn't ready to move into quite yet, Maya was completely unsure what Riley was trying to say. 

 

_Maya: I thought move in day was tomorrow???_

 

_Riley: No. My parents. For the family dinner, remember? Keep up, Peaches!_

 

She let out a breath of relief that there was a joke, but she was still deeply concerned. Riley had made sure to keep Maya far away from the Matthews’ apartment the past few months. Granted, Maya completely understood why, but she was still excited to suddenly be invited over again. Maya used to be so close with Riley’s family. In high school, even when Riley would no longer have normal conversations with Maya, Topanga and Cory never changed. She was no longer in their house all the time, but in class with Mr. Matthews or at Topanga’s café, things were always the same for her where they were concerned. 

 

The nice gestures in public didn’t change the fact that her falling out with Riley junior year led to Maya being cut out of the family dynamic. She was no longer lingering around family parties or eating breakfast with Riley’s entire family every morning, she was Maya. She was suddenly _just_ Maya, not Maya and Riley. She was alone for the first time. Her mom and dad tried to make up for the loss of the Matthews, but they never could. They had been her first family.

 

Maya couldn’t forget the family that took care of her when her mom was trying to pull the pieces of her own life together and her dad had bailed a long time ago. That apartment, whether Riley would allow her in it or not, was her first idea of what it meant to be home. 

 

Riley’s parents cared for her. They were present in Riley’s life, they knew their daughter inside and out. Riley was closer to Cory and Topanga than she thought possible. Maya had never pointed out to Riley that her dad most likely knew of everything that happened since rumors didn’t stop at the student body in high school, they had to have definitely figured out she was gay somewhere along the way, but she knew Riley was too self conscious about her family finding out about her. The idea of her being able to reciprocate the feelings was terrifying for Riley, which Maya understood the trepidation of. Riley wasn't the only one of them that had fears about coming out.

 

Besides, despite knowing that the Matthews would be accepting of Riley's sexuality whether it was gay, straight, bi, pan, whatever, coming out would change things for their daughter. It would change how they saw Riley, whether they'd admit it or not. And that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it would open a door to her that Cory and Topanga didn’t know existed yet. She knew that Riley had been trying to distance herself from her parents a little more in an effort to try to protect herself in case of the rare chance of a bad reaction, but Riley still cared a lot about what they thought of her regardless. No amount of distance would change that

 

Maya peered at the clock on the top toolbar of the phone.

 

_Maya: You do realize I won’t get there until eleven?_

 

_Riley: Don’t pretend like you have a healthy sleeping pattern now. JUST COME!_

 

_Maya: I have to be up at 6 am… And so do your parents_

 

_Riley: It’s an emergency. I need your help._

 

She had a pretty good idea that this was about as emergent as her phone call with Kendal a few weeks ago, but Maya found herself getting off the bed regardless. She was going to kill Riley if this wasn’t at least somewhat important. Especially because this would only be the second time Maya had seen Riley’s parents in two years and Riley was forcing her to go over looking like she was homeless at eleven at night. She tried to straighten out her hair and put on a cute outfit, but there was no recovering at this point. 

 

She walked out the door, looking carefully around the street. She thought she’d feel safer in her area as time went on, but ever since Riley had planned their move she found herself getting _more_ anxious about where she lived. 

 

Her mind was racing. She didn’t know what this was about or why Riley suddenly had the confidence that her parents wouldn’t catch on to their relationship. They hadn’t exactly become less subtle over the time Maya had been home, so this was all quite unexpected for her.

 

She thought she wanted this, but she found herself worrying that the Matthews wouldn’t like her anymore on her walk over. She felt like she had this big reputation to uphold of who she used to be to them. She used to have a natural place and she couldn’t help but think about how that was no longer true. There was a very good chance that this could end up terribly awkward, which would be hard for her to overcome.

 

_Maya: This better be a legit emergency._

 

She kept walking along the familiar streets, making her way towards Riley’s - and, in a way, her own - childhood home. 

 

_Riley: It is! And even if it isn’t I recall you pulling a fake emergency a month ago, so you owe me. Are you coming!?_

 

_Maya: 3/4 of the way there._

 

Riley didn’t reply, so Maya continued to ruminate in her thoughts. All she kept repeating was that Riley was okay with this. Even if it was awkward or they jumped to conclusions, Riley was finally okay with Maya being around her family again. That was a huge step and the greatest privilege so far.

 

She turned onto the street, standing in front of the building with two paths to take. She genuinely had no idea which one Riley expected. She pulled out her phone again.

 

_Maya: Bay window or door?_

 

The reply was, like all the others, brief, to the point, and gave nothing away regarding what Maya was about to walk into. 

 

_Riley: Door._

 

Maya sighed, walking up to the apartment. Two months ago, it had been easy to knock. She had felt excited. Now, she hated how nervous she felt. She did what she thought she would do two months ago and stood at the door, staring at the piece of wood. Eventually, she rose her fist.

 

Before she could knock, a teenage girl opened the door and was ready to walk out, her brown hair perfectly straight and tidy. She frowned when she saw Maya, turning back around into the living room instead of continuing her exit.

 

“August, who the hell is this?”

 

She hadn’t invited Maya in, clearly distressed over the fact that she was even there. And this must be Jenna, the girlfriend of Auggie’s that Riley hated.

 

Without missing a beat and keeping an eerily straight face Maya held out her hand with a sweet smile. “You must be Riley! He mentioned you might be a little protective. I’m Maya, Auggie’s new girlfriend.”

 

Her eyes went wide and her screech momentarily made Maya wish she’d been born deaf. “ _What_?”

 

“She’s not my girlfriend!” she heard Auggie instantly yelling from living room. Within seconds he was standing behind the teenage girl, glaring at Maya. 

 

Maya met his gaze with innocent eyes. “You’re not gonna introduce us? I’ve been waiting to meet your sister, I’ve told you a million time how excited I am. I thought you told her about us?”

 

“Why is she calling you Auggie? You said only your family can call you that. You said I couldn't call you that, so why can she?”

 

“ _Auggie_ ,” Maya continued to play along, amazed at herself for not laughing yet. “I am so honored. You never told me you wouldn’t even let your sister call you that.”

 

“Maya, _stop_ ,” he growled.

 

The blonde held up her hands, nodding her head in surrender at his annoyed expression. “Okay, I’m done.” She nodded to Jenna, giving her a satisfied smile. “Hey. I’m Maya. Riley’s friend.”

 

“I wasn’t aware Riley had friends,” Jenna continued to glare, clearly not believing this change of story. 

 

Auggie looked back and immediately scowled at the muffled laughter. “This isn’t funny, Riley!”

 

Maya still wasn't invited into the apartment and looked at both of them impatiently. Jenna was a fucking giant and she couldn’t even see past her into the rest of the apartment. “I’m offended that you haven’t let me in yet.”

 

“I’m not an idiot,” she spat out, still shifting her gaze between Auggie and Maya. “There’s no way you’re old enough to be Riley's friend. She’s like, thirty.” She whipped around to Auggie, placing her hands on her hips. “Who is _Maya_ , August?”

 

“Jenna, relax. She’s literally my best friend,” she heard Riley’s voice of innocence before she saw her. She tapped Jenna’s shoulder and the girl finally moved aside to allow her in. Riley greeted her with a sly smile and nod of approval. “Well played, Peaches.”

 

She walked in with a look of despair, looking at Riley with pleading eyes. “I miss her. I actually miss Ava.”

 

“I think you’re forgetting that I’m big enough to kill you,” Auggie continued to find no humor in this situation. “Me and Ava are just friends.”

 

“I told you,” Riley sighed, matching her look of dramatic despair. “The ship has sunk.”

 

“I didn’t even know I had shipped it,” she shook her head in disappointment. “I should’ve realized what I had before it was gone.”

 

“It’s okay,” Riley fought back fake tears as she pulled Maya into a hug. “We can get through this together.”

 

“Are they always this… weird? _Peaches_? What is that about?”

 

“They’re beyond me trying to figure it out,” Auggie shrugged. 

 

Maya turned to giantress beside her. She rose her eyebrows. “I thought you were leaving?”

 

“I might want to stay,” she challenged. “I only just got here and I want to get to know you, _Maya_.”

 

“Auggie isn’t allowed girls over after ten, so you’re lucky you were allowed in to begin with,” Topanga told her sternly from kitchen. “You need to go now, but you’re welcome to come back tomorrow after six and before ten. If you’d like more time, I’d suggest you come earlier than ten thirty.”

 

Maya couldn’t help but cringe. Riley was not kidding when she said Topanga didn’t like Jenna either.

 

The two girls had stepped aside, suddenly losing interest in the high school love affair. Riley began leading her to the kitchen table where Topanga was sitting with a warm smile and waiting for a hug. "Hello, Maya."

 

Jenna didn’t say anything, but Maya felt the glare of jealousy from behind her, which provided her with enough satisfaction.

 

“I’m unimpressed,” the teenage girl deadpanned. “I feel like you’re all about to have a serious conversation. I don’t understand why Riley’s best friend can be here, but I can’t. I’m August’s _girlfriend.”_

 

“I paid my dues,” Maya brushed her off. “And we aren’t talking about anything serious. Chill out.”

 

“Yeah, that’s not true,” Riley whispered quietly so Jenna couldn’t hear.

 

Topanga looked at Jenna with firm – and very annoyed – eyes. She never did handle not being listened to well, Maya remembered that much. Topanga was scary. Jenna had to pick up on that soon if she wanted to even stand a chance of surviving with a Matthew. “Jenna, I’m being very patient right now. These are general rules, not just for you and-“

 

“I know, I’m sorry, Mrs. Matthews,” she suddenly spoke with a smile, but her tone did not match the sweet attitude she was trying to physically exhibit. She was clearly angry with this turn of events. “I’ll go. See you tomorrow, August.” 

 

The door shut behind her as she finally left and Maya turned to Riley. “You should teach her how to fake politeness, you’re the queen and she needs some serious lessons.”

 

“You think I’m the queen?” Riley’s hand went to her heart. “That’s so nice of you.”

 

“I’m glad you’re back,” Auggie walked closer to Maya again, frustration dripping in his tone, “but I must say that you were much more pleasant and easier to deal with in my memories.” 

 

“I saw how delighted you were to see me, it’s too late to deny it now,” Maya waved him away. 

 

He rolled his eyes, but unlike their last encounter at the end of May, he didn’t excuse himself to his room right away. He walked over, giving her a hug. It was different from the hugs they’d used to share. This time he was taller, in control and no longer eight years old. “If you ever do that again I’ll ban you from this apartment.”

 

“You don’t have that authority, Sweetie,” Topanga laughed, then turned to the back hallway and speaking louder. “Cory! Maya’s here!”

 

She heard Cory’s quick foot steps scurrying down the hallway. He immediately rushed out a string of words when he appeared in the kitchen, as if he’d been waiting around to say them. With a smile on his face and his arm extended and pointing at Maya, he said the sentence happily. 

 

“What are your intentions with my daughter!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write, so I hope it was fun for someone to read!


	18. pt. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cory and Topanga finally get the details they've always wanted.

Riley let out a groan at her dad's behavior and Maya grinned at her frustration, although suddenly even more confused at what exactly was going on. She tilted her head, trying to read Riley for information, but Riley was too focused glaring at their old history teacher. 

 

“I banned you from saying _one_ thing, Dad. One thing.”

 

“You held out on us, Maya,” Topanga clicked her tongue. “Two months ago you had all this juicy gossip from the past that you could have shared and you didn’t say a word about it when you came.”

 

Maya leaned to her side, trying to find Riley’s shoulder to rest her head on. When she did, she began quietly murmuring what she wanted to say. “I don’t know what you’ve told them, but I do know that we were supposed to sync our stories before this happened. It’s a common rule of thumb so we can get our them straight.”

 

“You never told me to sync anything with you,” she rebuked stubbornly, not bothering to keep her voice quiet.

 

The blonde rolled her eyes and pulled herself off Riley’s shoulder, emphasizing, “ _Rule of thumb_.”

 

“In my defense, I had to tell them we were going to be roommates anyway, so I figured while they were shocked that we were friends I might as well go all in,” Riley explained, looking and talking to her as if her parents weren’t there.

 

“This sounds more complicated than the sticky situation you just caused for me,” Auggie threw in his two cents. “I’m going to my room, but just so you know, you were the topic of our entire two hour dinner.”

 

“You had a _two hour_ dinner?” Maya asked incredulously. 

 

“Two hours,” Auggie confirmed. “All about you. You’re supposed to get nervous at that.”

 

“Goodnight, Auggie,” Riley interjected sharply. 

 

He chuckled a little, still grinning at the situation. “At least one of you gets nervous.” 

 

Maya watched Auggie go down the hallway to his room before realizing that she still had no idea what was going on. She knew Riley told her family something at this point, but she didn’t know what or how much of it she said. Considering that before Riley came over for dinner her family had no idea they were even on speaking terms again, she figured it must have been a lot.

 

“Are we roommates or friends right now?” Maya tried to ask Riley as quietly as she could.

 

“Neither?” Riley tried to sound confident, but the fact that it came out like a question ruined that attempt.

 

Maya raised her eyebrows in amusement. “Then what are we?”

 

Riley pursed her lips, looking at her parents quickly. “We need to speak privately for a moment. Excuse us.”

 

“That’s a great idea, Riley,” Maya smirked as she got dragged through the house.

 

She froze in the bedroom, looking around. It was exactly the same. Everything was cluttered with boxes in preparation for her move, yet eerily the same. She wanted to look around in awe some more, but she was already surprised the Matthews were still awake on a Sunday night. She felt bad keeping them waiting even more otherwise she would've spent hours taking everything in.

 

As Maya analyzed Riley’s expression, she motioned to the place they always used to sit. “Would you like a bay window?”

 

“I told you, I don’t need bay windows anymore,” she upheld the claim she made two weeks ago. “I just want to fill you in. I think you were right, we should probably sync our stories if we’re going to deal with Topanga.”

 

“You think?” she asked dryly. 

 

Maya sat on the bed, looking up as Riley stayed standing.

 

“I told them everything," her best friend proclaimed.

 

“Define everything,” she found herself asking the same question she’d asked two days ago regarding Josh.

 

“I told them I’d found a roommate and was honest that it was you. So, naturally, they asked questions and I just started from where I left off with them. I told them everything,” she repeated. “They know what really happened back in high school and I continued the story until I ended it with explaining how much we’ve been hanging out lately,” Riley explained, still not seeming nearly as nervous as Maya would expect. “Obviously they had a lot of questions.”

 

“So, do they know how close we are?” Maya tried to get an idea of how far Riley went in explaining this, still surprised she’d said anything in the first place. “You said we weren’t roommates or friends. So, they know we’re best friends again? Or?”

 

“I…” For the first time of the night, she looked at Maya with a bit of nervousness. She took a deep breath, still not coming to sit next to her on the bed. “Okay, as I’m thinking back on it, I probably should have discussed this with you first.”

 

“Too late now,” Maya shrugged it off. “What did you say? It couldn’t have been that bad.”

 

 “It’s not bad at all,” she quickly assured her, regaining her confidence. She let out an anxious smile, gauging Maya's reaction. “I told them we were dating.”

 

Maya furrowed her eyebrows, trying to decipher what that meant. “But we aren’t dating. We agreed we were friends.”

 

“We’re friends that go on semi dates,” Riley defended her stance. “That implies dating.”

 

“I mean,” Maya squinted her eyes a little, but she felt the smile coming to her face. “Yeah? I guess, in a way we are.”

 

Riley looked gravely serious, finally giving in and settling in next to Maya on the bed. She once again intertwined their hands putting her other hand on top of them. Riley stared at them, while Maya stared at her.

 

“What’s going on, Riles?”

 

“I’m not afraid of this anymore,” she croaked out. “You. Us. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid to admit we’re dating or that this is happening again – the right way this time.”

 

Maya smiled at that. She thought she was the only one who was thinking that they had become an _us_. 

 

“I know you said we could go slow,” Riley slowly spoke. “I understand that, I respect that, we can still do that. But I think you need to know that I’m ready to not go slow. I’m ready to go all in when you are, Peaches.”

 

“Riles,” she whispered softly, still staring at the girl beside her. Riley was still extremely focused on their connected hands. 

 

She sighed, placing a hand on Riley’s chin and leaning in to kiss her again. Two nights ago, she had felt it. She felt that longing, the butterflies in her stomach, the constant thinking of Riley Matthews. When it didn’t end after that night, when Riley kept going in the morning, she knew that she’d wait for her. She wouldn’t tell her that in fear of Riley running again, but she knew she was still in love with her and she’d wait forever if she had to. It sounded over dramatic or like one of those sappy things they say in movies, but maybe romance movies had a bit of realism in them after all. She was heavily identifying with them at the moment.

 

“You didn’t have to this,” she murmured as she pulled away. "You still don't."

 

“I want to,” Riley promised. “I want to do this. With you. I know you wouldn’t have made me tell anyone, but I heard you said when I forced you to eat dinner with me. You said I should get comfortable with who I am. You’ve helped me do that. I meant it when I said that you’re perfect. You’re kind and brave and forgiving and hilariously mischievous and witty and you keep me on my toes every time I’m around you with how amazingly unpredictable you are. You’re beautiful, Maya. And I don’t want to miss out on that because I’m a little scared. I want everyone to know how I feel. How I hope you feel. I want this and I want you and I want us.”

 

“Stop,” she breathed out with an ear-to-ear smile on her face. No one had made her cheeks turn so red before and she didn't know if she liked the feeling yet. “I don’t want to force you to come out. It’s fine, it’s-”

 

“I promise that you aren’t,” Riley said earnestly. “You’re right. Not being honest makes things hard. I’ve thought about that a lot. If I don’t tell people how I feel, it’ll be just as hard and messy as we were in high school. We wouldn’t stand a chance at surviving and I want to stand a chance, Peaches. I want to be with you, actually be with you.”

 

“Really?” Maya tried to hide how happy and excited that made her, trying to first make sure that Riley was doing this for herself, not just so she could make Maya happy.

 

“Really,” she squeezed her hand a little. “I want my parents to know how much you mean to me. I want our friends to know. I want to do this right with you if you’ll still let me.”

 

“If you think I wouldn’t want to do the same with you you’re horrible at reading social cues,” Maya muttered with her signature smirk. "Then again..."

 

Riley laughed at that, finally letting herself truly look at Maya again, rather than the short glances she’d been taking. 

 

“I’m ready, Maya,” Riley got out. “I’m ready to tell the world. I mean it this time.”

 

“Yeah?” Maya kept looking at her. When Riley nodded confidently, she knew it was really time for this to happen. Riley felt good about this decision. “Okay, Riles.”

 

They stayed sitting on the bed for a while, both of them in their own worlds of bliss, before Maya got up again, tugging on Riley’s hand.

 

“Let’s go tell the world Riley Matthews is mine,” she said, still not believing that the words were actually able to roll off her tongue. “First stop: Cory and Topanga.”

 

“Maybe we can have as epic of a love story as my parents after all,” Riley mentioned before they got out the door. 

 

Maya looked back at her as they walked through the hallway back out to the kitchen, taking in the girl who had once been a seven-year-old in a bay window. She was an adult now. They both were. But Maya swore that Riley still made her feel just as magical as she had when Maya broke in to her house through a bay window. 

 

“I really think we can, Honey.”


	19. pt. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late nights at the Matthews apartment.

“How kind of you both to come back,” Cory smiled cheekily as the two girls re-entered the kitchen. “Did you sync your stories now?”

 

“They’re synced,” Riley rolled her eyes at his nonsense.

 

Maya looked at the kitchen clock. _11:24_. She felt bad keeping Riley’s parents up for this conversation that she could easily return tomorrow for. “I can really come another time, I know you both have work tomorrow.”

 

“Are they keeping you up past your bedtime?” Riley challenged.

 

Topanga laughed a little, raising her eyebrows as well. “Are you scared of us now or something?”

 

“I have always been afraid of you, Topanga,” Maya huffed, sitting down with a smile on her own face.

 

“Good!” Her face lit up at that. “Teach Jenna to be, I hate that girl.”

 

“Mom,” Riley gasped. “I never thought I’d hear you admit it.”

 

Cory grinned, looking between the two young women in front of him. “We had a discussion of our own when you were in there and have decided we don’t not like her because she’s Auggie’s girlfriend, we just don’t like her, _period_.”

 

Maya turned to Riley again, still looking elated. “Good thing he’s not _their_  history teacher every year of their life, huh?” She turned to Riley’s dad again. “Admit it, Matthews. You’re glad it was us.”

 

“Considering Auggie’s relationships, I cannot deny that at this point,” he completely agreed. “But, enough about Jenna. How have _you_ been, Maya?”

 

She thought back to two months ago. Her answer had worked well back then. “You know, same old.”

 

“Nice try,” Cory laughed. “We’ve learned our lesson to ask questions when we hear that.”

 

“To set the record straight, we would have invited you over sooner, but Riley said she’s been spending all this time with Smackle because the poor girl was going through a break up,” Topanga remarked dryly, staring at Riley with a completely unhappy gaze.

 

Maya laughed, wrapping her arm around the girl beside her. “Yeah, Riley likes to keep me her dirty little secret.”

 

“I’m telling them now, aren’t I?” Riley crossed her arms at that. 

 

Maya tilted her head to look at the girl beside her, the girl that was suddenly _hers_. “What’s your point?”

 

She huffed at that. “That you _clearly_ aren’t a secret if you’re here.”

 

“I won’t mention that it’s been over two months.”

 

“Less than nine weeks if you omit the time we fought,” she mumbled, not liking that _this_ was the topic of conversation.

 

Maya enjoyed teasing her, though, just shaking her head. “Not much better.”

 

“We were actually shocked when Riley said she’d found a roommate so quickly that she just _knew_ she’d get along with,” Topanga smirked at how uncomfortable her daughter suddenly looked at hearing the story of her awkward confession getting retold to her. “When she said Maya we thought she was joking since we hadn’t seen you since you came over that one time.”

 

“Actually, they didn’t. They stared at me for ten minutes and then Dad was just like, ‘Maya…. _Hunter_?’” Riley clarified the minor detail, Maya knowing she was most likely being overdramatic at her reenactment of her dad’s reaction. “He called you his lost daughter.”

 

“I’m honored, Matthews,” Maya beamed. She was pleased with that. She could live with that being his first description of her in years.

 

“In my defense, Riley said you’d been keeping your distance from her all summer and she hadn’t seen you at all since you’d visited here, so, yes, I was a little shocked at the news,” Cory gave his daughter another look of scorn. “This whole summer seems a like one big lie, doesn’t it, Riley?”

 

“You guys would’ve made a big deal out of it,” she groaned. Maya could tell this had already been a topic of discussion before she’d came over and enjoyed watching it. She knew why Riley hadn’t told them, but it was still fun to watch her get the hard time about it that Maya always had to hold herself back from giving. “Exhibit A:” Riley let out an irritated breath “ _Exactly_ what you’re doing now. You’re both going to be exhausted tomorrow and you’re still trying to have a conversation when it’s almost midnight.”

 

“This can’t wait, Riley,” Topanga defended both her and Cory with full sincerity. “We wouldn’t be able to rest after hearing this news! This is exciting!”

 

Maya smirked. Well, that argument sounded familiar. Like mother like daughter, she supposed.

 

“I gotta give you props, though,” Cory sat back, his attention now turning to Maya as he nodded his head in approval. “Even when I heard the rumors floating around in high school with what really happened between you two, you never cracked. You stuck to Riley’s story like glue and never strayed. That’s amazing, considering how _Riley_ reacted. We were sad to hear the truth.”

 

He shot Riley a look of disappointment and she realized how much Riley had to have told them for her to own up to all of that. Maya looked at Riley again, knowing it wasn’t all that pleasant for either of them to think about, but Riley didn’t look guilty anymore, just anxious.

 

“We aren’t talking about high school, Dad,” Riley spoke through gritted teeth, meeting Maya’s blue eyes nervously at the mention of six years ago.

 

Maya picked up on the fact that Riley was gauging her reaction and let out a calming laugh. She wasn’t upset anymore. High school was high school. It was hell, but they were still there, right? Their friendship – and relationship – was still there, gathered around Riley’s kitchen table, both of them stronger than ever. It would always be a sore reminder that Riley wasn’t proud of, but Maya didn’t have it in her to continue holding a grudge over it. Besides, it was clear that Maya had been wrong all these years. Riley felt guilty. She always had. But now she was fixing it.

 

“I know, right?” Maya agreed with her dad, giving Riley a reassuring look that this was okay and wrapping an arm around her. She had that glint in her eye again. “Riley owes me _big_ for holding all that in.”

 

“She does,” Topanga agreed pointedly. “You’re a good-“ she cut herself off, looking between the two girls before briefly holding up her hands. “I don’t know what, Riley left us all confused.”

 

“Yeah, she really blindsided all of us with this one,” Maya once again threw her under the bus, enjoying how all the teasing was getting under Riley’s skin. “Even I didn’t get a heads up about this.”

 

Riley just threw out another eye roll. She was getting good at those lately. “We are a couple,” she stated confidently. Then, she furrowed her eyebrows, and quickly turned to look at Maya. “That’s what our agreement was, right? You weren’t exactly clear as day about where we stood.”

 

“Don’t get me started on being transparent,” Maya warned lightly, just grinning along. “Yes, that was our _agreement_. Way to make it sound super romantic.”

 

“You are so welcome, Peaches,” she purposely ignored the sarcastic tone.

 

“Well, you’re a good girlfriend for doing all that,” Cory approved of them both.

 

“Sexuality is… complicated,” Maya vouched for Riley, knowing she had to at least try to defend her. As much as Maya appreciated their support, there was nothing for her parents to be disappointed over. “Riley was just extra confused.”

 

“You get me,” Riley sighed happily, leaning on Maya’s shoulder.

 

“No problem. I know that you’re slower than everyone else at figuring things out, don’t worry.”

 

“I resent that,” she replied haughtily, but she didn’t lift her head off the blonde’s shoulder.

 

“So, to fill you in and prepare you for living together, nothing about Riley’s living habits have changed,” Topanga began seriously. “She still leaves the bathrooms a mess, never fully completes her laundry which leaves me to fold her clothes almost every time, she talks in her sleep every now and then, I’m not sure she remembers how to do dishes-“

 

“She gets it,” Riley cut her off. “It’s Maya, Mom.”

 

“I want to make sure she knows what she’s walking into!” 

 

“I know,” Maya assured her, giving Riley a look that had always been reserved for just her. “She’s a pain all around, but I’ll keep her tame.”

 

“I’m just pointing out that ever since you arrived all three of you have done nothing but insult me,” Riley huffed.

 

“Tough love, Riles. It’s what we’ve always given.”

 

“It’s too late to change our ways now,” Maya agreed. “We’re twenty-two. You can’t just expect me to boost your ego with compliments all the time.”

 

“Well giving me one every now and then wouldn’t hurt.”

 

“I’ve given you more than anyone else in this world has given you,” Maya told her, absolutely confident that that fact hadn’t changed. “You can’t guilt me over this. If I gave you any more we’d be sickening and I can’t be content with that.”

 

“This is nice,” Topanga announced to them all. “We’ve all missed having you around.”

 

“It’s good to have our Honorary Matthew back,” Cory laughed in agreement, enjoying the sight in front of him.

 

“Trust me. I’ve missed you all too. More than you know.”

 

Riley finally picked her head off of Maya’s shoulder, looking down a few inches at her. “I know, Peaches,” she promised.

 

“Of course _you_ do,” Maya kept smiling at her, wondering if she’d ever be able to take it off after tonight. “You know everything about me.”

 

She turned back to Riley’s parents, all of them falling into an easy conversation. There was less small talk than two months ago and more reliving great memories. More importantly, there was more talking about creating future memories.

 

The entire time, Maya couldn’t believe it. She knew she’d be dead at work tomorrow, but she couldn’t seem to care. Everything had fallen into place, slowly but surely. 

 

Riley had once told her that she was her extraordinary relationship.

 

To this day, Maya couldn’t agree more.


	20. pt. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They tell the friends.

Riley stopped in the window of the bar, holding Maya’s hand. Maya paused with her, gazing at Riley as she looked over at their friends, all of them already there and laughing together.

 

Maya slowly unlaced their hands upon the sight of her girlfriend's hesitation, but Riley was quick to not allow that to happen. “I told you a billion times. I’m ready.”

 

“You look nervous,” Maya noted.

 

Her brown eyes shone as she looked at Maya. “Of course I am. Just because I’m nervous doesn’t mean I’m not ready. Weren’t you nervous in high school?”

 

“I was scared shitless,” she admitted, squeezing Riley’s hand again. “I’m right here.”

 

“I know you are,” Riley expressed with tenderness. “This is your turn, Peaches. I told my parents. It’s your turn to say it.”

 

“Okay,” Maya agreed, wrapping an arm around to hug the girl in front of her before they separated completely, other than the hands that were still woven together. She found herself a little nervous now as well. It seemed so surreal to be having this conversation, to be planning to tell everyone the entire truth for the first time since they were sixteen.

 

Maya wove her way through the busy bar, leading Riley to where all of their friends were standing, getting ready to watch Zay shoot darts. He was once again bragging about how he’d acquired the talent in college as Maya and Riley arrived, none of them bringing up that that’s probably part of the reason that Zay had another semester of his undergrad left.

 

“Hey! We thought you two weren’t coming!” Lucas greeted them.

 

Maya watched as Farkle’s eyes floated down to fixate on their hands, but he didn’t say anything, casually going back to watching Zay throw darts.

 

“We said we would be here,” Maya rolled her eyes. “Sue us, we’re ten minutes late.”

 

“Twenty, but who’s counting?” Zay offered, still concentrating on aiming the pointy object in his hands.

 

Lucas had lost interest in Zay showing off, turning his attention to the rare appearance of the two girls showing up at the same time. “Did you two come together?” 

 

“Yeah,” Riley answered, not delving in further than that. She said she’d let Maya have this one and apparently that was what she planned to do.

 

After finishing his game, Zay turned around, agreeing to go find one of the oversized booths for the six of them to squeeze into.

 

“Is anything new with you guys?” Farkle asked, his voice still remaining nonchalant, his eyes offering a completely different story.

 

“We’ve decided to move in together. And we’ve decided that it’s probably about time to try the whole relationship thing out – like, beyond being friends, so that's the plan right now,” Maya informed them just as nonchalantly, as if she was saying, ‘Nothing much, you?’. Then, she kept the carefree attitude going, acting like she hadn’t dropped a bombshell. “What about you all? When are you going back to school, Zay?”

 

Riley let out a laugh beside her. She snuck an arm around Maya’s waist and the shorter girl looked over at her with a smile.

 

“Is it next week or the week after?” Maya rephrased her question, turning her focus back to Zay.

 

He didn’t answer her, looking over to the other three with curiosity. “Are we supposed to pretend like this is nothing out of the ordinary?”

 

“I have no idea,” Smackle answered him, still trying to analyze exactly what was happening. “It’s clear they are not joking, but I don't seem to know the proper reaction…”

 

“It’s a simple question, Zay,” Maya pressed, ignoring all of their antics. “Do you not know when your own flight is?”

 

“One second,” Lucas held his pointer finger up in Maya’s direction before Zay could respond. “We’re trying to find a cohesive reaction.”

 

“What we all mean is congratulations,” Farkle took charge again, pulling everyone out of their unsure responses. “It’s about time.”

 

“Seriously,” the others all agreed.

 

“We were taking things slow,” Riley explained to them all.

 

Smackle smiled at that claim, quickly pointing out, “In three weeks you went from not speaking to each other to being a couple and moving in together.”

 

“Well, Smackle, let me tell you why we’re moving in together,” Maya smirked as Smackle suddenly squirmed. “It seems that I have no locks on my doors protecting me. Someone broke into my house a month ago.”

 

“You realize you can get new-“

 

“Don’t bring it up,” Riley told Lucas, softly laughing as she pulled Maya in closer to her. “It’s Maya Hunter. She’s made up her mind.”

 

“So, boys, you have a job this weekend,” Maya announced. “I need help moving.”

 

“Can’t you hire someone?” Lucas practically whined. “Riley hired a company, she can give you a referral.”

 

“Riley doesn’t know the true value of money,” she stated as if it was a well known fact. “Why would I spend money on that when you’re,” she looked him up and down, seizing him up to make him uncomfortable. “You look like that. You can do it just fine.”

 

“I have work tomorrow. It’s Saturday,” he relayed.

 

“That’s fine, we can do it Sunday,” Maya shrugged, smirking at him. “I’m very flexible considering I have until Monday before all my stuff needs to be out of the apartment it’s in now. Bring a truck, I have a lot of boxes.”

 

“And where do you expect me to get a truck?”

 

“You’re Huckleberry,” Maya scoffed. “You’re not as idiotic as you seem at first glance. You’ll figure it out.”

 

“As persuasive and enticing as that offer is, I’ll pass.”

 

“I’m not asking you, it’s happening. Consider it your housewarming gift. You won’t have to buy anything. You should be thanking me for saving you money,” she informed him. She turned to the other three with a smile. “I expect something from you all still. I didn’t get one for my first apartment.”

 

“Maya, when you moved back to New York you were practically off the grid,” Farkle rebuked. “We didn’t owe you anything. We didn’t even know where you lived.”

 

“I still don’t know where you live,” Lucas piped up. “I don’t think I can get there with this truck you expect me to accumulate in two days time.”

 

“If that were true, my apartment has an address and you have a GPS. However, since you’ve visited me at my apartment before, it’s obvious that that _isn’t_ true. This is happening, Cowboy. Don’t be a wuss.”

 

He scowled at that, picking up his drink and taking a sip. “I’m not coming before ten.”

 

“You’ll be there at eight and not a minute later.” Maya informed him, still not making this his choice.

 

“Eight thirty,” he tried to bargain.

 

“Seven thirty.”

 

“Eight,” he huffed, watching Maya’s face contort to one of satisfaction. 

 

“Pleasure doing business with you.”

 

“It’s not business if you’re not giving me compensation for my time and services.”

 

She brushed the comment off, waving her hand through the air. “Don’t get technical. You know nothing, you’re just a fake vet.”

 

Lucas gave up, just giving in and laughing.

 

“Did you tell your parents yet?” Zay asked them. 

 

“We told Riley’s,” Maya nodded. “We were gonna tell mine this Sunday, but apparently we have to rearrange everything due to Huckleberry’s little _job_ ,” she taunted. “I guess we’ll tell them tomorrow.”

 

She noticed Riley stiffen again. She seemed more nervous to tell Maya’s parents than anyone else. All week she’d been making excuses of why Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday night weren’t good, but Maya had finally pointed out that she should probably inform her mom that her mailing address was changing before it actually did.

 

The curiosity from the four friends was officially wide open as they all began asking questions, one after another, about how it happened, when it happened, how the Matthews took it, everything related and more. Riley answered them all happily and Maya still couldn’t believe how much she had changed in three weeks. This wasn’t the same girl as she was when they were screaming at each other over a month ago, or even when Riley was apologizing three weeks ago. At the beginning of the summer, Maya had been convinced that she’d always just be Riley’s high school confusion.

 

Here they were, though, in a bar, defying odds. 

 

Riley got up from the booth, walking to the counter of the bar. Maya watched her curiously and grinned when she came back holding a margarita. 

 

“Don’t become an alcoholic,” Smackle teased when Riley was back at their table, casually sipping alcohol for the first time with them in years.

 

Riley just laughed, shaking her head. Maya leaned over, whispering in her ear so the others couldn’t hear over the buzz of all the other voices and music the bar was filled with. 

 

“Not afraid of spilling your guts anymore, Matthews?”

 

“I have nothing to hide,” Riley hummed. 

 

Maya liked the sound of that. After everything that happened, they were finally together. She had been repeating it a lot, but she still couldn’t stop thinking about how wonderful they sounded together.

 

 

They just fit together so perfectly. They were their own little story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's one more technical chapter with Maya's family, then there's an epilogue and that's about it. The story is dwindling down.


	21. pt. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last true chapter before the epilogue: introducing Katy and Shawn.

“I feel sick,” Riley muttered as Maya walked into the living room of their new apartment.

 

She had just woken up, but even this early she wasn’t dumb enough to believe her girlfriend. She wanted to laugh at the sight. She was laying on the couch with a wet cloth on her forehead, Real Housewives of Somewhere or Another playing on the TV. 

 

“Toughen up, Matthews. And get better at faking sick. You’re horrible at it.”

 

“Well, excuse me that I didn’t get practice in high school,” she grumbled, slowly sitting up on the couch. 

 

Maya just laughed. “If you weren’t such a princess in high school and college, _maybe_ you would’ve thought about how you weren’t acquiring necessary life skills.”

 

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes, throwing out the only card she ever used from Maya’s college days, even if it didn’t relate to the conversation at all. “You screwed your professor in college. At least I didn’t do _that_.”

 

“A necessary life skill,” Maya smirked, walking away into the kitchen. “We’re leaving in an hour to meet my mom and dad for brunch, so I suggest you get moving. And don’t mention the professor thing to my mom. It’s a sore spot for her. She can’t get over how stupid it was.”

 

“In her defense, you did almost get yourself kicked out of college,” Riley pointed out as she got off the couch and sauntered into the bedroom to begin getting ready for the day.

 

Maya pretended not to notice as Riley switched her outfit six times before deciding on the most conservative one. She also turned a blind eye when Riley did her make up the way she did it when she was trying to impress people. She didn’t say anything, simply watching from afar with a quirked eyebrow.

 

On their train ride to the house in the suburbs Riley had never seen, she finally brought it up. “Is there a reason you’re so nervous about telling my parents? They already know you’re coming, so it’s not like it’ll be a shock to them like it was to yours. They just don’t know that we aren’t _just_ friends anymore.”

 

“They’re your parents, Peaches,” Riley shrugged it off, but the color was drained out of her face. “Even if they know I’m coming, it’s still a big deal.”

 

“Okay,” Maya sighed, not understanding why Riley was getting so worked up over this. She thought telling their friends would be the hardest, or telling Riley’s parents. She thought her mom and dad would be a piece of cake.

 

They sat in silence the rest of the train ride, Maya reading CNN on her phone and Riley staring out the window. Maya would peek up from her phone every now and then, but Riley stayed in the same position, her head clearly somewhere else entirely.

 

“I should probably tell you before we get there…” Riley finally broke her sealed lips when they were two stops away from the stop they had to get off on and she had fifteen minutes to explain, no more, no less.

 

“What is it, Honey?” Maya asked, grabbing Riley’s hand in an attempt to comfort the obvious anxiety that was going on inside her.

 

“I don’t know if they’ll bring it up, but if they do you should probably know,” she rambled. “Although, you might already know?”

 

“Know what?” Maya questioned, tilting her head a little.

 

Riley wrung out her hands before leaning back in her seat and turning to Maya again. “Your parents came to my house a few times in high school, not just to visit my dad, but a few times to talk to me alone.”

 

Maya’s mind reeled. She didn’t know if she found that cute, touching or if she was entirely pissed off by that news. Riley was a better person now, but in high school it was clear that they hadn’t been friends for a long time. Why would her mom still care about Riley? She couldn’t help but bitterly think about how Cory had never come to _her_ house for a visit.

 

“Like, about life?”

 

“No,” she got out softly, taking another deep breath. “About you, Peaches.”

 

“What did they say about me?”

 

She was definitely taking the pissed off route. Riley didn’t deserve to have information on how Maya was doing in high school if Maya hadn't gotten any information about her.

 

“They tried to get me to tell them what really happened,” Riley explained. “They didn’t believe your story – well, my story – about Lucas. They were worried, but they actually were really mad about it and weren’t afraid to show it.”

 

“They were?” 

 

“And you say I’m bad at social cues,” Riley let out an awkward laugh. “Every time they came over to dinner it was tense. I don’t know if my parents didn’t notice or if they just ignored it, but it was not nearly as warm after we split ways.”

 

“They never said anything about you. But…” Maya trailed off, her head reeling. “They came? To talk to you?”

 

“It was more of a scold, I guess,” she mumbled. “It didn’t happen a lot, just a few times. Shawn was still nice to me and all after it happened, but he loved me a little less. Your mom loved me a lot less. They made it quite clear how upset and disappointed they were.”

 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Maya whispered.

 

She found her anger fading away. She had never viewed her parents as protective, at least not to that extent, but she liked the idea. They really cared about her. Maybe it was selfish, but it made her feel loved knowing that her dad was that way towards Riley even though he’d only known Maya a couple years at that point and had known Riley her whole life. He really was her dad. Through and through. Blood or not.

 

“How often did this happen?” Maya asked, peering at Riley with full blown amazement. 

 

“Maybe once or twice.” Maya stared at her expectantly until Riley rolled her eyes and slumped in her seat a little, giving her the truth. “Four times.” 

 

“They never told me,” Maya gaped, shocked that all this went on without her ever finding out. 

 

“Probably because I just sat there,” Riley laughed a little. “I didn’t give them the best reaction. I didn’t know what to say after they finished asking what was really going on between us or talking about what a mistake I was making. Shawn was quite honest about how I was giving up the best thing that ever happened to me. Which sucked, because I knew I was making a mistake and giving up, I just didn’t have it in me to fix it.”

 

“You’ve fixed it now.”

 

Riley nodded, going back to looking out the window. The next stop was theirs. 

 

“What if they’re still mad at me? And pissed that we’re friends again because of how I was in high school? Or, what if they don’t want you to move in?”

 

“I’m moving in, it’s a done deal,” Maya promised, eliminating that fear. “My parents have always loved you. They were just worried I’d never move on with my life. They stopped worrying about that in college, so you’ll be fine.”

 

“But here I am,” Riley pointed out. “What if they think you never did move on and should have?”

 

“We might be Riley and Maya still, but we aren’t who we were in high school,” Maya told her as she stood up, moving to the doors of the now stopped train. “We’ve moved on. We’re different people now. Don’t worry, they’ll love you just as much as I always have.”

 

Riley’s face was still anxious, but it lit up when she heard that. Maya took her hand, leading her out of the train and onto the pavement. She spotted her parents at the small train station immediately, quickly running over to them with a hug. She hadn’t seen them since the beginning of summer. She’d gone much longer without seeing them before, but it felt like they’d missed so much in the past few months that she was desperately dying to share with them.

 

“Nice of you to come back, kid,” her dad laughed into the hug. 

 

She pulled away, looking back at Riley who was still lingering a few feet away. She motioned to her, looking at her parents and trying to gauge their expressions. They knew she was bringing Riley, but telling them over the phone and having them actually see her were two different things. Especially knowing what she now knew.

 

“You remember Riley.”

 

Shawn broke into a grin, opening his arms. Her mom was a little stiffer than she had been six years ago, but overall she couldn’t help but be warm and inviting as well.

 

“How could we forget the famous Riley Matthews?” Katy drawled out, smiling at the girl. “You look so grown up.”

 

“Riley’s been raving about this trip to the exciting suburbs,” Maya said, making it sound genuine. 

 

Riley tried to hide her confusion at why Maya would say that, but watching Katy’s face light up made it click together. She looked to her girlfriend with a grin. Maya was helping her get on their good side again. 

 

“The entire train ride here was about how she couldn’t wait to see you both. She said you haven’t been over for dinner since you moved out of the city.”

 

“That’s so sweet,” her mom beamed at Riley and they all knew that all was forgiven. It was part of the past and the past seemed like it had been another lifetime at this point. “We missed you too, Sweetie.”

 

“Are you grilling, Dad?” 

 

“Actually, we’re going out,” he smiled, looking between the two girls who were standing further apart than they had in weeks. “We hear you two have some news for us.”

 

“Did my father tell you?” Riley’s jaw dropped. “ _We_ were supposed to tell you.”

 

“I told you he wouldn’t keep it a secret,” Maya bragged about how she was - once again - right, seeming unfazed that she hadn’t been the one to tell her parents the great news of her finally being with the girl she’d loved since she was seven years old. “Our dads are best friends. It was bound to happen.” 

 

“Riley, you should really know your dad better by now,” Shawn laughed, beginning to lead them to the car. “He called me at two in the morning on Monday. I was going to shoot him.”

 

“He then woke me up by screaming, ‘Really? Great! Great! _Great!_ ’, before speaking with Cory about meaningless things for another half hour while I sat in bed, trying to flail my arms and get him to tell me what was so great,” Kate relived it dryly.

 

“My conversations are never meaningless. I am offended that you think so.”

 

“You talked about the bird catcher we put up in the back yard,” she pointed out.

 

“Leave it to dads,” Maya rolled her eyes at Riley, both of them grinning at each other. 

 

Riley and Maya began to hang back a little further from Maya’s parents.

 

“Thanks for putting in a good word for me,” Riley proclaimed, clearly happy that this was going so well. 

 

“Repay me and stop getting all goofy and googly eyed when I call my dad Dad,” Maya proposed. 

 

The taller girl’s cheeks turned red and Maya laughed, shaking her head. 

 

“I thought I was looking neutral,” she reached down to grab Maya’s hand, switching to that happy voice she always seemed to have. “You can’t blame me for being happy about it. You have a father, Peaches. You always wanted that when we were kids and now you got it. And he’s amazing and wonderful and everything I ever hoped you’d have.” 

 

“All because you meddled,” Maya agreed, quickly leaning in to kiss her cheek. “But you aren’t being subtle about your joy, so stop. It’s making me feel awkward, because I’m sure he feels uncomfortable when you do that. He doesn’t get your googly eyed looks. They look creepy to anyone but me.”

 

“I resent that!” Riley exclaimed, causing Maya’s parents to turn around and glance at them. She quickly quieted down as Maya let out a laugh. “They are not creepy!”

 

“Okay, Riles,” she mocked, clearly not agreeing with that statement at all. She had on a goofy grin of her own, beginning to see the car in the parking lot. “I’m glad you’re happy about it.”

 

“I’m so happy, Maya,” she sang – Maya swore, she literally sang it. “You’re getting your Happily Ever After. Your mom has been there every step of the way and Shawn is your dad now… It’s everything you dreamed about yet never thought would happen.”

 

“And it’s all because of you,” Maya reminded her again, remembering vividly how this entire situation came to be. 

 

How her biological dad had ditched them when she was seven, how her mom wasn’t present for years, how she always felt so empty because she didn’t have a family. Only Riley Matthews knew about all of that and Riley Matthews found a way to fix it. She squeezed Riley’s hand, standing outside of the car for a moment longer than her parents, leaving them alone outside.

 

“You interfered, even though I begged you not to,” Maya relayed the memory, this time with a smile on her face.

 

“This wasn’t my doing,” she refused to take the credit for giving Maya a family of her own. “I gave them a push, but they saw what I see in you right away. They saw a girl that was worth sticking around for, who made it so incredibly easy to love her. You’re still that girl. You’re still so incredibly incredible. I didn’t force them to see that. They did it on their own. All I did was get to watch as it happened.”

 

“Riley-“

 

“C’mon, lovebirds!” Shawn called out as he opened his door a crack. “We have reservations that I don’t want to be late for.”

 

“We aren’t exactly dressed up,” Maya pointed at her and Riley’s attire as the slid into the back seat of the SUV.

 

“You’ll be fine. It’s a Hunter specialty to look out of place, you know that,” her mom pointed out as she began to back out of the parking lot. 

 

Maya was happy that Riley laughed too. It meant she was a little less nervous than she’d been ten minutes ago on the train.

 

Dinner went smoothly. The restaurant was nicer than any of them were used to, but it was a nice change in scenery. Midway through the dinner of catching up on life and hearing about how Riley and Maya came to be a package deal again, Katy and Shawn looked at each other, shifting their postures and becoming serious.

 

“Now that we know everything about the two of you, we have something to tell you as well,” Katy looked at Maya, her face more anxious than it’d been in years. “It’s something we want to run by you. For your _honest_ opinion, not what we want to hear.”

 

“Uh,” Maya looked between them and their nervous expressions, then turned to Riley. Riley’s expression was curious and excited. She always got excited for big conversations, even when she had no idea what would be said. “What is it?”

 

She found herself blindly feeling around for Riley’s hand. The other girl noticed, glancing down and grabbing it. 

 

“You know Brooke,” Shawn prodded.

 

“Yeah, obviously,” a natural smile came to Maya’s face. She turned to Riley who still looked familiar with the name. “Is she with Haddie again tonight?”

 

“No, she’s home and determined to finally beat some game she’s been obsessed with on her Xbox,” her dad rolled his eyes at the thought. “We wanted to talk to you privately.”

 

“Is she leaving?” Maya’s heart dropped.

 

Katy smiled glancing at Riley and trying not to laugh. “It’s not that.”

 

Riley was bouncing in her seat with excitement as Maya tried to ignore her. She reminded herself that Riley Matthews was too optimistic. She had a feeling she knew what her dad was about to say, but she refused to get excited until it came out of his mouth.

 

“We want to adopt her, Maya,” Katy put the offer out tenderly. “I know it’s a big decision, so take your time to think about it. She doesn’t know yet-“

 

“Absolutely,” Maya breathed, a smile finally coming to her face at the words. She didn’t need to think about this. “Yes, absolutely. Make her a Hunter.”

 

“Think about it,” her mom ordered. “Don’t rush into anything for our sakes. I know you don’t like change, so-“

 

“Rush into it? Dad, she’s been living with us for years. I want this. This is good change. The change I wouldn’t like is if she had to go live with some other family, that would be heart breaking,” she admitted for the first time, much to Riley’s satisfaction. 

 

Maya looked over to Riley, so extremely happy. Riley’s heart swelled at the tears in Maya’s eyes. The only other time she’d seen Maya cry out of happiness was at her mom’s wedding. But right now, Maya didn’t care who saw, because her life was so unbelievably perfect. She had good friends. She had a family that loved her. She had Riley and everything that Riley entailed. And now she had Brooke. Brooke would never get to find a better foster sister. She was stuck with Maya.

 

After wine and cheers and the rare ordering of dessert, they once again piled into the car, the mood still uplifted and so unbelievably, genuinely happy. “Do you guys want to stay the night? It’s getting dark and I don’t know how I feel about you taking the train this late.”

 

“We’ll have to leave early in the morning because I need to move out, but yeah, we probably should. I’m too tipsy to defend Riley from the people who try to jump her right now.”

 

“That has _never_ happened,” Riley complained at the mention of how defenseless Maya thought she was. She brought this imaginary situation up to everyone purely for Riley's reaction. “I’d be fine on my own.”

 

“It’s cute that you think so,” Maya teased, still euphoric. For the first time in her life she felt like she could fly if she really tried hard enough. 

 

It was a short ride home. Maya forgot suburban life. It was more spread out, but the fact that the primary form of transportation wasn’t walking, buses and subways made all the difference. Her parents got out of the car and Maya moved to follow, excited to see Brooke.

 

Riley stopped her, grabbing her wrist a little before she could open the door. 

 

“Say it, Maya,” she poked her continuously. “Say it, say it, say it.”

 

Maya knew what she wanted to hear, but she hated how smug Riley was about it. She just laughed at her antics. “C’mon. It’s time for you to meet my sister.”

 

“Yeah, I can’t wait for that, but _say_ it,” she continued to bounce up and down the same way she’d been doing all night since the mention of the word ‘adopt’ spilled out of Katy Hunter’s mouth. “Say it, you know what I want to hear.”

 

“Life is good,” she shrugged, moving to get out again.

 

Riley shook her head, once again firmly tugging Maya’s wrist. “Peaches.”

 

“You really want it that bad?” Maya asked. “You need to hear that you’re right _that_ bad?”

 

“Admit it. Just this once, admit what you did in high school again and then I’ll be happy.”

 

She saw how much love was in Riley’s eyes and melted. Riley hadn’t even met Brooke yet, but she was already so happy for Maya. She cared about her more than anything and Maya realized that fully. She had for a while now. The fact that Riley was bursting and so giddy was a sign of that. Brooke might hate her - which knowing the protective side of Brooke was a real possibility that she’d warned Riley of, but the girl couldn’t care less. Maya loved her, so without meeting her she saw that Riley did too.

 

“I’m in love with you,” Maya blurted out the words to Riley directly for the second time in her life. 

 

She had flashbacks to how horribly it went the first time she’d said that to Riley and she knew they weren't the magic words Riley was looking for, but she had to get it out. In that moment, with Riley looking at her with so much happiness and hope and support, it was the first thing on her mind. She didn’t wait for a reaction from Riley and moved subjects swiftly. She rolled her eyes, muttering the words with annoyance. 

 

“And _maybe_ hope isn’t for suckers after all.”

 

“Finally,” Riley sighed, pleased with that. 

 

Maya shook her head in amusement at Riley’s relief. The little things that made Riley happy were amazing. She made life look so much brighter with her never-ending positivity. She moved to get out of the car and Riley, for the third time, tugged on her wrist to stop her. 

 

“Riley, I’m going to kill you if you don’t let me get out of this car,” she laughed. “I should be in there with them.”

 

Maya wasn’t mad, she was just terrified. She knew Riley must have seen that. Riley always saw that.

 

Her heart was pounding, not sure if she wanted to sit with Riley and get a response to what she'd said. She knew Riley must love her in some way to put up with her through their complicated journey, but she didn’t want to be let down again. This wasn’t high school, she understood that, but Riley’s rejection had nearly broken her the last time. If she wasn’t ready to say the words back, Maya didn’t want to know. 

 

She was afraid to face her, because, at that point, even Riley saying that she was getting there, but not totally there yet, would disappoint her, so she didn’t want a response. Not tonight. Every time she looked at Riley tonight all she could think about was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her, to never fight or be apart again. She wanted Riley to be at that point too, to think that way too.

 

“I know, I know,” Riley rushed out. She gazed at Maya who was squirmy and laughed. “Peaches, what did you just say?” 

 

“You said I’d only have to say it once,” she grunted, clearly unhappy at this prolonged reaction.

 

Riley leaned forward and cupped her chin, staring at the blue eyes before leaning forward. It wasn’t a slow kiss, rather filled with emotion and desire. It was cut short, leaving Maya breathless and stunned.

 

“If you think I’m not in love with you you’re a god damn fool,” Riley said, not being careful with her words this time. This time, it was loud and clear, completely confident, passion filling the entire car. “I _told_ you. Hope isn’t for suckers, Maya Hunter. You’ll get your Happily Ever After. This is me swearing on it.”

 

Maya smiled at that, whispering out the word. “Thunder.”

 

They weren’t wearing their rings, but they didn’t need to. They didn’t need to symbolize the power in their relationship, because everyone knew. It’d been years and it was still them. Maya knew that if they’d gotten through this much, they could truly get through anything.

 

Riley just smiled back at her, nothing but pure happiness in her body. She clasped her hand with Maya’s again, nodding her head. “Lightning.”

 

Maya and Riley

 

Riley and Maya. 

 

They’re forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnnd just the epilogue left! thank you all for reading :)


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